Meant2Die
Specialist
- Nov 8, 2019
- 307
First the important details:
I will be leaving tonight, around 2-3am EST US time (unless issues come up and I have to move it to tomorrow night), with N + 1g Dilantin after a 48h Meto regimen + fast. I will top that off with a little swig of alcohol and a nice dark piece of chocolate to help with the taste (I already sampled some of it and HOLY is it bitter).
It's taken over a decade of contemplation, this is NOT a rash decision and this site did not, in any way, influence my decision. It was my own to make and I am happy with my choice. I suffer from a long standing chronic physical/mental illness that is not improving with treatment and is in fact slowly getting worse despite being on the highest doses of intravenous medicines. It has affected and changed every part of my life and despite having to forcibly adapt to what was being thrown at me, I've come to an inevitable dead end. I do not wish to talk about this in detail. God knows the amount of time, money and effort that went into trying to heal. At some point you have to realize it's just not gonna happen for you and thats when N should be available to us all so that we may go on our own terms with dignity while we still can.
Words can not express the immense gratitude I have for this site; the information available here, the community of friendly, knowledgeable and helpful people and of course the Mods/Admins who keep this thing going. You are providing a great services to us all, don't let anyone else tell you different. From the bottom of my heart, I Thank You.
Although probably unnecessary, I just want to confirm everything Ark was reporting regarding the N is true. I am one of the people he's been in contact with since I ordered from A around the same time and, just as Ark, I also received 2 (60ml) plastic bottles. I nearly lost my mind when I saw we were missing 80mls and A wasn't responding back to emails. The delight of having received the product safely quickly faded as I was facing the reality that this mind as well be water, b/c who knows, right? Other than an extreme bitter taste, there wasn't much to go on that this was real. As if going through the entire process of first deciding to take the risk to order, then careful prepping with getting the TOR browser, VPN provider, Proton Mail, Bitcoin, burner phone etc. and actually going through the motions of doing all these things, setting up accounts, writing emails, transferring money, learning how to even use BitCoin (what a pain in the ass that is), waiting impatiently for delivery while mulling over the risks… as if all of that wasn't stressful enough, now I had to figure out and jump through hurdles of sending a sample internationally to get it tested. So that is what I did.
Thus, a 2nd confirmation is in order; I am the person Ark mentioned was getting it tested and indeed after weeks of waiting I was happy to inform him that what we had was real N.
A sigh of relief…. that is UNTIL I noticed my caps suddenly started splitting and cracking open on the edge (where the side meets the top) despite being hidden away in a dark safe place, clearly adding to the degradation issue. Just one more unanticipated surprise courtesy of A.... *annoyed face* *eye roll*.
But, why am I complaining that none of this went according to how it should be? Beggars can't be choosers. After all, I have enough to peacefully CTB and that is all that matters. I am usually the one reading about other's good fortune wishing it was me. In this circumstance, I got lucky, I got my hands on the coveted "Liquid Luck" as I affectionately call it (this is a Harry Potter references for you non fans, hehe). I feel truly blessed in a way.
For those who have shared PMs/chat with me regularly, you know who you are. Thank you for your support, kindness, and openness in sharing invaluable information. I love you all.
Since I believe in a soul and an afterlife I cautiously look forward to the next step in my cosmic journey, while at the same time being sad to have to leave earlier than I would have wanted, and scared of the unknown. I will miss my family and my friends. I will miss Life dearly as I really loved it when it was livable.
I will be here tonight until I self ban before I drink my Liquid Luck.
"I hope you all find your way to peace no matter how." - Ark
Meant2Die
"I've hit a wall,
I can't look past it,
Nothing at all,
Nothing to mask it, but
It feels so drastic, but
I cannot panic, so
I get my chance to go,
And hit that fuckin Road"
- song by Hippie Sabotage - Waiting Too Long
I will be leaving tonight, around 2-3am EST US time (unless issues come up and I have to move it to tomorrow night), with N + 1g Dilantin after a 48h Meto regimen + fast. I will top that off with a little swig of alcohol and a nice dark piece of chocolate to help with the taste (I already sampled some of it and HOLY is it bitter).
It's taken over a decade of contemplation, this is NOT a rash decision and this site did not, in any way, influence my decision. It was my own to make and I am happy with my choice. I suffer from a long standing chronic physical/mental illness that is not improving with treatment and is in fact slowly getting worse despite being on the highest doses of intravenous medicines. It has affected and changed every part of my life and despite having to forcibly adapt to what was being thrown at me, I've come to an inevitable dead end. I do not wish to talk about this in detail. God knows the amount of time, money and effort that went into trying to heal. At some point you have to realize it's just not gonna happen for you and thats when N should be available to us all so that we may go on our own terms with dignity while we still can.
Words can not express the immense gratitude I have for this site; the information available here, the community of friendly, knowledgeable and helpful people and of course the Mods/Admins who keep this thing going. You are providing a great services to us all, don't let anyone else tell you different. From the bottom of my heart, I Thank You.
Although probably unnecessary, I just want to confirm everything Ark was reporting regarding the N is true. I am one of the people he's been in contact with since I ordered from A around the same time and, just as Ark, I also received 2 (60ml) plastic bottles. I nearly lost my mind when I saw we were missing 80mls and A wasn't responding back to emails. The delight of having received the product safely quickly faded as I was facing the reality that this mind as well be water, b/c who knows, right? Other than an extreme bitter taste, there wasn't much to go on that this was real. As if going through the entire process of first deciding to take the risk to order, then careful prepping with getting the TOR browser, VPN provider, Proton Mail, Bitcoin, burner phone etc. and actually going through the motions of doing all these things, setting up accounts, writing emails, transferring money, learning how to even use BitCoin (what a pain in the ass that is), waiting impatiently for delivery while mulling over the risks… as if all of that wasn't stressful enough, now I had to figure out and jump through hurdles of sending a sample internationally to get it tested. So that is what I did.
Thus, a 2nd confirmation is in order; I am the person Ark mentioned was getting it tested and indeed after weeks of waiting I was happy to inform him that what we had was real N.
A sigh of relief…. that is UNTIL I noticed my caps suddenly started splitting and cracking open on the edge (where the side meets the top) despite being hidden away in a dark safe place, clearly adding to the degradation issue. Just one more unanticipated surprise courtesy of A.... *annoyed face* *eye roll*.
But, why am I complaining that none of this went according to how it should be? Beggars can't be choosers. After all, I have enough to peacefully CTB and that is all that matters. I am usually the one reading about other's good fortune wishing it was me. In this circumstance, I got lucky, I got my hands on the coveted "Liquid Luck" as I affectionately call it (this is a Harry Potter references for you non fans, hehe). I feel truly blessed in a way.
For those who have shared PMs/chat with me regularly, you know who you are. Thank you for your support, kindness, and openness in sharing invaluable information. I love you all.
Since I believe in a soul and an afterlife I cautiously look forward to the next step in my cosmic journey, while at the same time being sad to have to leave earlier than I would have wanted, and scared of the unknown. I will miss my family and my friends. I will miss Life dearly as I really loved it when it was livable.
I will be here tonight until I self ban before I drink my Liquid Luck.
"I hope you all find your way to peace no matter how." - Ark
Meant2Die"I've hit a wall,
I can't look past it,
Nothing at all,
Nothing to mask it, but
It feels so drastic, but
I cannot panic, so
I get my chance to go,
And hit that fuckin Road"
- song by Hippie Sabotage - Waiting Too Long
Last edited:
