Venting Going back into alcoholism

[inkmage333]

After months of being sober, I've fallen back into alcoholism. I was so close to recovering. I really was. But then everything had to go wrong for me, so now I'm back to square one.

I'm never going to fully recover. Every time I think I'm close, it's like the rug is pulled out from under me and I'm sent back to where I was. I think I'll give up on recovery forever from now on. Just one step closer to leaving this planet for good after more than ten years of wishing for death.

Sometimes I do hope the people who made me like this stumble upon my account on here and my posts. See what they turned me into. Maybe they'll regret it, after all, they kept telling me to "improve myself" or some bullshit like that as they left me. I'm not giving them that satisfaction, though. If they come back to me, though, maybe I will stop.

 

[ipmanwc0]

Don't talk to yourself like that. First of all relapsing doesn't take you back to square one. If you don't relapse badly you don't lose much progress and if you relapse badly you don't even then lose everything. Also, don't use self defeating language, if you say you won't recover then you won't be able to. Be kind with yourself, addictions are really hard I've had several bad ones myself, sometimes you have them because life is overwhelming

 

[Higurashi415]

I'm drunk again, after almost 3 months of not drinking... Gin this time, not whiskey as usual.
I just can't justify sobriety anymore. Whether I'm drunk or sober, my life will suck regardless, it's not like if I drink I'll fuck up a perfect life, or something like that.

 

[birthdayboy]

Getting sober from alcohol for me only made me understand that the alcoholism was just a symptom. I'd honestly still be drinking if it made me feel any relief at all.

Still coping with the root of the problem.

But honestly, addiction or relapsing doesn't make you any less or more of a person than being sober, and you don't lose those months of sobriety just because you relapsed. One bone I have to pick with conventional ways of talking about addiction/alcoholism is that it makes people think they lose progress when they relapse.

Really it's not like that at all. Streaks are meaningless. What's important (assuming you want to be sober) is what you do today, not what happened yesterday.

 

[Higurashi415]

Getting sober from alcohol for me only made me understand that the alcoholism was just a symptom. I'd honestly still be drinking if it made me feel any relief at all.

Still coping with the root of the problem.

But honestly, addiction or relapsing doesn't make you any less or more of a person than being sober, and you don't lose those months of sobriety just because you relapsed. One bone I have to pick with conventional ways of talking about addiction/alcoholism is that it makes people think they lose progress when they relapse.

Really it's not like that at all. Streaks are meaningless. What's important (assuming you want to be sober) is what you do today, not what happened yesterday.

strong agree
sadly im at a point where alcohol barely slows down my thinking, and doesn't change my internal dialogue one bit. you could say it doesn't even work anymore

 

[X-sanguinate86]

I'm considering taking alcoholism up again because sobriety didn't improve anything.