Why the fuck do people keep saying this?
I can't get out of bed without thinking about killing myself. When I'm outside, all my distractions are gone, and I'm forced to confront how hard I'm failing at life and that I am alone in all this. When I am around people or in social settings, it reminds me of the type of person I'm afraid of becoming or the type I'm failing to be. Noise, music make it worse. I can't tolerate anything at all. At that moment, I just want to die on the spot. If I had any way to end it, I would. I also start crying, and my breathing gets constricted as I'm thinking of all this. That's when I have to get back home since I can no longer function. I go back to bedrotting and regret going out to begin with.
I can't get out of bed without thinking about killing myself. When I'm outside, all my distractions are gone, and I'm forced to confront how hard I'm failing at life and that I am alone in all this. When I am around people or in social settings, it reminds me of the type of person I'm afraid of becoming or the type I'm failing to be. Noise, music make it worse. I can't tolerate anything at all. At that moment, I just want to die on the spot. If I had any way to end it, I would. I also start crying, and my breathing gets constricted as I'm thinking of all this. That's when I have to get back home since I can no longer function. I go back to bedrotting and regret going out to begin with.
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