Help Give me some tips on how to accept who I am (or you are/were)?

[CuriosityAndCat]

I (35M) met with my psychologist this week. I got a few pieces of homework and I need some help. 1st I need to learn to accept who I am to stop grieving, and that I'm perfect as I am; problems and all. I've lost out due to panic attacks and PTSD. Travel, experiences, friends, dating, love, work, career, etc. Now I feel washed up and too old, and that it's too late to do anything.

Any tips on how to accept yourself as you are? Thank you in advance :)

 

[carac]

I don't know really, all I can say is I'm 46m and also a washed up failure but I don't care. Forget what is done focus on the future, try to do little things that make your life worthwhile. Like for me I volunteer with old people, I gave blood, just generally take time out to help people and be patient and you can find some self worth.

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

I don't know really, all I can say is I'm 46m and also a washed up failure but I don't care. Forget what is done focus on the future, try to do little things that make your life worthwhile. Like for me I volunteer with old people, I gave blood, just generally take time out to help people and be patient and you can find some self worth.

That's a good suggestion. Is that what helped you move forward? Any advice you'd want to tell yourself 10 years ago?

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I'm in my forties and have been clinically depressed since childhood and have been suicidal since age 9.
I've missed out on so much in life due to chronic bouts of debilitating mental illnesses.
The things I've missed out on most are relationships and friendships, of which I've had very little of.
Yet I learned to accept myself for what I am and stopped caring about what others think of me a long time ago.
There is a huge amount of mental freedom in just accepting that there are certain things we just can't change, although this is often easier said than done, yet definitely achievable.
Personally I find its the little things in life that can give the most meaning to existence.
Sometimes something like volunteering at an animal shelter can give life much more meaning to someone than travelling around the world ever could.
I guess it's a case of just finding your joy in life no matter how insignificant it may seem to others, and trying to focus on living in the moment.
I wish you good luck in moving forward.

 

[carac]

That's a good suggestion. Is that what helped you move forward? Any advice you'd want to tell yourself 10 years ago?

That's tough. A lot of the reasons why I turned out this way is due to health problems from the age of 18. I only really started to resolve these recently so i guess I would try to explain to my younger self what is going on with me. I think also like the previous post said you have to stop caring what others think of you and learn to accept yourself. I always wanted to be this strong dependable person who could do and handle anything. Now I know I'm not but that is ok I can just be safe in the knowledge that I can still do little things that help.

 

[tiger b]

I'm starting to accept that most of the time, I'm pissing into the wind, like it or not.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

For me it was accepting that feeling intense emotions and crying a lot more than others is normal for me. Doesn't make me less of a person, makes me different from the others but it's that difference that gives me creativity to paint and what makes me keep close by only people that understand my problem and do me good.

I have this problem, accept it or leave it, is the stance I have with potential friends. I started accepting myself a bit better after knowing that there is a lot of mental illness history in my family, and suicidals. Makes me think that it's not my thing, it's a family thing which is sad but at the same time comforting.

I already have so many things to be depressed about, if I don't accept myself then that's another one and I don't have space for it.

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

I plugged my question into chatGPT and this is what it returned. It feels a bit like reading a fortune cookie, but it's not a bad start.

I'm sorry to hear that you feel old and washed up. You are not alone in feeling this way. Many people struggle with accepting themselves, especially when they face challenges or difficulties in life. But you can learn to accept yourself, problems and all, by following some of the steps suggested by experts.
One of the steps is to practice self-compassion. This means being kind and understanding toward yourself, rather than harsh and judgmental. Self-compassion can help you cope with negative emotions, reduce stress, and increase your well-being1​. You can practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself as you would to a friend, acknowledging your feelings without minimizing or exaggerating them, and reminding yourself that everyone makes mistakes and has flaws.
Another step is to use present moment awareness and mindfulness. This means paying attention to what is happening in the here and now, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Mindfulness can help you accept yourself by reducing rumination, enhancing self-awareness, and fostering self-acceptance2​. You can practice mindfulness by doing activities that require your full attention, such as breathing, walking, or listening to music. You can also try meditation, yoga, or other relaxation techniques that can calm your mind and body.
A third step is to acknowledge and love your abilities. This means recognizing and appreciating your strengths, talents, and achievements, rather than focusing on your weaknesses, failures, and shortcomings. Acknowledging and loving your abilities can help you accept yourself by boosting your self-esteem, confidence, and happiness3​. You can acknowledge and love your abilities by making a list of things you are good at, proud of, or enjoy doing. You can also celebrate your successes, big or small, and express gratitude for your gifts and opportunities.
These are just some of the steps you can take to accept yourself, problems and all. You can find more information and tips on how to practice self-acceptance in the links I have provided. Remember, accepting yourself does not mean giving up on yourself or settling for less. It means embracing yourself as you are, while also striving to grow and improve. You are a valuable and worthy person, and you deserve to be happy and fulfilled.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

One important thing is realizing that accepting who you are is not mutually exclusive with changing yourself.

You can accept that certain things, events, actions, things both in and out of your control, led you down the path you are at today. And even if you have anxiety and PTSD, it's your body's way of protecting itself.

I don't think you have to think "I'm perfect as I am" because obviously having panic attacks for your entire life is going to make you miserable. You just have to accept that your current self is a reasonable result of the hand that you've been dealt and the situations you had to go through. And that you have the power to recover from these things, because the human brain is malleable by nature and everyone is capable of change (to varying degrees of difficulty).

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

I'm in my forties and have been clinically depressed since childhood and have been suicidal since age 9.
I've missed out on so much in life due to chronic bouts of debilitating mental illnesses.
The things I've missed out on most are relationships and friendships, of which I've had very little of.
Yet I learned to accept myself for what I am and stopped caring about what others think of me a long time ago.
There is a huge amount of mental freedom in just accepting that there are certain things we just can't change, although this is often easier said than done, yet definitely achievable.
Personally I find its the little things in life that can give the most meaning to existence.
Sometimes something like volunteering at an animal shelter can give life much more meaning to someone than travelling around the world ever could.
I guess it's a case of just finding your joy in life no matter how insignificant it may seem to others, and trying to focus on living in the moment.
I wish you good luck in moving forward.

Thank you. any tips on accepting certain things cannot change? That's something I think I'll achieve eventually, but it's really difficult. I haven't cared what others thought for a long time. I often find myself comparing myself what would have been and what I missed out on.