
neverLoved
Member
- May 4, 2024
- 44
It's honestly crazy, I signed up more than a year ago after already lurking for a while. Many on and off moments, but still nowhere. I bought SN a while back because I really didn't want to continue anymore.
Here I am again. A year wasted bedrotting. No improvements, and the only thing which keeps me from CTB is the pain it will bring on the my mother and sister.
I just don't know anymore, constantly stuck in this loop of 'I don't want to recover because I will CTB' and ' I have no other choice besides recovery because I can't hurt my mom and sister'. I can't get out of it.
I really am going crazy
Here I am again. A year wasted bedrotting. No improvements, and the only thing which keeps me from CTB is the pain it will bring on the my mother and sister.
I just don't know anymore, constantly stuck in this loop of 'I don't want to recover because I will CTB' and ' I have no other choice besides recovery because I can't hurt my mom and sister'. I can't get out of it.
I really am going crazy