Just wanting to disappear.
To disappear from this cruel, dreadful existence really is all I hope for, I wish for no more suffering but of course all the suffering just continues and it's all so cruel to me, there's just so much cruelty in existing, it's all so terrible and as long as I exist I'll just wish and hope to disappear, I just want this existence to be all forgotten, I'd just always prefer to not exist than suffer and I just suffer so much as a result of this existence, as long as I exist I'll just hope to never wake.
I just wish for no more suffering, I just want to dissappear with all gone for me but of course all the suffering just continues and I'll always see existing as only suffering, it's all so painful, I suffer simply from existing and it's suffering only non-existence can take away for me, it just feels like I've suffered so much for so long and as long as I exist I'll only wish to never suffer again. I just wish for non-existence to finally solve everything for me and bring me peace, I always wish and hope to erase this existence like I never suffered as all I wish for is no more suffering and it just feels like I've suffered so much for so long in this dreadful, deeply undesirable existence I never would had chosen and would never wish for, all I want is to disappear and I always suffer from how I cannot just choose to disappear from this torturous existence.