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Yeah it's not impulsive, I thought about it for more than a year...in a way I feel more at peace with it than ever before, I mean how can such a situation be fixed at this point anyway?
I get how you're feeling, breakups can be hard, I got in a similar situation and they also blocked me. The point is that everything we do doesn't really matter in the end, people like them don't care about us wether we live or die, the world to them will keep spinning and tbh same goes for all the people in our lives. The truth is that humans are the most selfish, entitled, egocentric and evil beings on the planet: you want to cbt? Do it, people won't care, you don't want to cbt? Then don't do it, it doesn't change anything to them anyways.
I feel so stupid for thinking I'll get a shred of sympathy...I actually debated whether I should tell her or not long enough because I rrally didnt want to pressure her or make her feel any guilt, but in the end I just couldnt...her response was: "you are sick" she then proceeded to tell me to never talk to her again and blocked me....I panicked and called her and she....just didnt care at all, at one point even told me "do it since it seems you've already made up your mind"....I felt numb...last thing I did was send her an email telling her that whatever happens none of it is her fault.
Yup. People are selfish, liars, entitled, manipulative asshats. If you want to cbt because you see this and it's killing you every day; do it. If you are doing it because you think people will show up to your grave with flowers every day; don't. You will be disappointed even in the after life. IMO.
I think im well past the point of no return...the breakup happened one year ago and Ive only been feeling worse and worse ever since....I love her and that's that...I cant bear living my life knowing she'll be out there with someone else...it sucks but that's just how it is.
I'm really glad that you were able to find a way out, and yeah, love simply just ain't worth it these days....I wish I knew that before I met her. I just honestly dont see myself enduring this any longer...everyday waking up like shit and having my brain remind me of her every millisecond. I'm sick of it. I wish I could press a reset button in my brain and erase everything but that's not possible.
yes im very familiar with that pain..
I dont care about money and abundance of women, thats not the kind of life I want.
Ironically I still feel guilty that she might end up being hurt or feel guilt by my suicide when I go through with it...to think that all of this could have been solved by an ounce of compassion and a single sorry.
If I have to try tbis hard to keep the woman interested in me, then Ive already lost, that's not love.
