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Fuck the rope, I'm catching the bus now.

shijsrzh

shijsrzh

Deluded Moron
Dec 2, 2020
99
Or rather the train. If I can. See you on the other side.
If not, see you here again.

Bye. Lots of love
 
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SuicidalDream

SuicidalDream

Member
Jun 1, 2019
44
I hope you find peace
 
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Nymph

Nymph

he/him
Jul 15, 2020
2,564
If you're sure with your decision then I hope you find peace:heart:
 
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shijsrzh

shijsrzh

Deluded Moron
Dec 2, 2020
99
My heart is screaming and bleeding but my resolution is firm. Gathering my last ounce of strength noe
 
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Isadeth

Isadeth

Visionary
Jun 12, 2020
2,538
I'm so sorry ♡ I hope you find peace. If you can't you're always welcome here xx
 
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Red

Red

Warlock
Apr 10, 2019
744
Much love to you and whatever you decide to do - I mourn for the life you should've had and wish you peace :heart:
 
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W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
I think your decision is impulsive but of course I respect your wishes.
I really hope you can find peace. You deserve it.

Lots of hugs to you.
 
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PapaSuicide

PapaSuicide

Student
Oct 27, 2020
117
Take it easy! The impulsivity increases the chances of going wrong! Anyway, I hope you find peace!
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,963
I hope you find peace in whichever decision you make. :hug:
 
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StateOfMind

StateOfMind

Liberty or Death
Apr 30, 2020
1,195
PapaSuicide said:
Take it easy! The impulsivity increases the chances of going wrong! Anyway, I hope you find peace!
Click to expand...
Depends on how much planning went in to it.
Some impulsivity will be required to overcome SI.
@shijsrzh what exact method / position are you going for?
I wish you godpseed!
 
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justpeachy

justpeachy

I’m haunted by the bottle & death on my breath.
Sep 6, 2020
297
They said they were catching the train instead so my guess is jumping in front of a train thus forcing someone else to be involved in their suicide method.
 
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shijsrzh

shijsrzh

Deluded Moron
Dec 2, 2020
99
I couldn't do it. I truly am a worthless piece of shit.
Not able to handle life and also too gutless and cowardly to just end it. I don't even deserve the love you gave me in those messages above.
 
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A

AndyD0209

Member
Dec 12, 2020
14
shijsrzh said:
I couldn't do it. I truly am a worthless piece of shit.
Not able to handle life and also too gutless and cowardly to just end it. I don't even deserve the love you gave me in those messages above.
Click to expand...
Please, don't think like that. Many of us are exactly in te same situation you are in now!!! Me included!! Lots of love
 
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x~Sophia~x

x~Sophia~x

Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
Sep 10, 2020
1,360
shijsrzh said:
I couldn't do it. I truly am a worthless piece of shit.
Not able to handle life and also too gutless and cowardly to just end it. I don't even deserve the love you gave me in those messages above.
Click to expand...
We'll I'm glad you're still with us... this sounded very impulsive and not thought out. Be kind to yourself, relax and do something nice to self soothe. Hugs
 
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G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,015
shijsrzh said:
I couldn't do it. I truly am a worthless piece of shit.
Not able to handle life and also too gutless and cowardly to just end it. I don't even deserve the love you gave me in those messages above.
Click to expand...
Trains are terrifying. You're not a coward for being afraid of a loud massive object that will kill you. That's normal survival instinct. CTB can be just as hard as being alive. Try to take it easy on yourself.
 
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A

AutoTap

Elementalist
Nov 11, 2020
885
Please make sure this is what you truly want and are not being impulsive. As impulsive actions lead to mistakes with worst effects. Like ending up in psych ward.

but if you truly want this I hope you have a peaceful transition
 
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A

AndyD0209

Member
Dec 12, 2020
14
AndyD0209 said:
Please, don't think like that. Many of us are exactly in te same situation you are in now!!! Me included!! Lots of love
Click to expand...
It's soooo hard, I get it! living is extremely painful but also dying, this is our curse and I don't wish it on my worst enemy! I am here if u want to talk, am sure others too! We are here to support each other and be there for each other no matter what!
 
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Red

Red

Warlock
Apr 10, 2019
744
shijsrzh said:
I couldn't do it. I truly am a worthless piece of shit.
Not able to handle life and also too gutless and cowardly to just end it. I don't even deserve the love you gave me in those messages above.
Click to expand...
Don't beat yourself up for this, it's completely natural!!
It seemed a bit hasty in the moment from what I could see so was perhaps not the best way to have gone through those final moments after all...
Much love for you, I'm so sorry for your disappointment :heart:
 
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justanotherstar

justanotherstar

Life: you can’t fire me, I quit.
Nov 23, 2020
345
I'm sorry you are suffering oP but I'm glad you're still with us. Impulsive actions often go wrong and lead to regret. You're not a failure for having natural feelings of SI. Stay a while, SS is here to help you decide the best thing for you
 
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sadworld

sadworld

existence is a nightmare
Aug 25, 2020
3,868
shijsrzh said:
I couldn't do it. I truly am a worthless piece of shit.
Not able to handle life and also too gutless and cowardly to just end it. I don't even deserve the love you gave me in those messages above.
Click to expand...
Don't worry! CTB is not easy, especially not with the train method!

We love you! Hugs :hug::hug::heart::heart:
 
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K

Kruger

Arcanist
Dec 26, 2019
482
shijsrzh said:
I couldn't do it. I truly am a worthless piece of shit.
Not able to handle life and also too gutless and cowardly to just end it. I don't even deserve the love you gave me in those messages above.
Click to expand...
No you are not - you are human. Survival instinct is human nature. Stop beating yourself up, you hear me?!
 
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shijsrzh

shijsrzh

Deluded Moron
Dec 2, 2020
99
Thank you all for the replies. I feel very weak (mentally) which is why I didn't answer much. Thanks for all the kindness. Love to you all. ❤️
 
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ManWithNoName

ManWithNoName

Enlightened
Feb 2, 2019
1,224
shijsrzh said:
I couldn't do it. I truly am a worthless piece of shit.
Not able to handle life and also too gutless and cowardly to just end it. I don't even deserve the love you gave me in those messages above.
Click to expand...
Don't see it like that. I've looked into train method and there are many factors that could cause it to go horribly wrong. You could end up surviving but being paralyzed from the neck down, then you would be truly fucked.
 
Last edited:
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D

Deleted member 24006

Member
Nov 20, 2020
59
shijsrzh said:
I couldn't do it. I truly am a worthless piece of shit.
Not able to handle life and also too gutless and cowardly to just end it. I don't even deserve the love you gave me in those messages above.
Click to expand...
Lack of courage would have been to just go for it versus having the courage to recognize you weren't ready and/or didn't know if it was really the right time/way. The world is super happy to beat the living shit out of you ...... why so quick to voluntarily join in with the beating(s) and beat yourself?
 
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StateOfMind

StateOfMind

Liberty or Death
Apr 30, 2020
1,195
ManWithNoName said:
Don't see it like that. I've looked into train method and there are many factors that could cause it to go horribly wrong. You could end up surviving but being paralyzed from the neck down, then you would be truly fucked.
Click to expand...
Where did you get this informationand which factors are you referring too? Train has 95% percent success rate making it one of the most reliable methods out there.
 
Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,794
Whatever path you choose, staying or going. I hope you find peace. I'm sorry life as brought you to this as so many of us.
 
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ManWithNoName

ManWithNoName

Enlightened
Feb 2, 2019
1,224
StateOfMind said:
Where did you get this informationand which factors are you referring too? Train has 95% percent success rate making it one of the most reliable methods out there.
Click to expand...
You are correct that it is 95% success rate, when all being equal e.g.: proper impact to create fatal injury, etc. But many jumps go bad. Viktor Staudt comes to my mind:
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...fighting-an-endless-battle.25020/#post-455134
 
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