Venting Friend said they’d call the pigs on me if they thought I was ‘in danger’

[yeahyeahyeahfan]

I have a friend I've been open about my feelings with, down to sharing (former, less researched) CTB plans. I'm really trying to get my shit together enough to leave before the month's over, and I checked how he felt about things.

Turns out he would call the cops on me if I told him I was trying something. It's so frustrating on multiple levels, like
1) why would you EVER call the cops on a friend?
2) did he think I wasn't serious before? Did he think I wasn't actually feeling that way? Did he not believe me?
3) Now I'm paranoid about my best friend also betraying me like that, especially when I already promised her I'd give her a proper goodbye video call.

We all already know how much it sucks that our holy bodily autonomy is illegal and punishable, and how feel people are in our objectively correct corner. It just sucks to be reminded that I have to keep my thoughts and feelings bottled up (which is extra hard for me, because OCD).

I guess I should be glad he hasn't sent the pigs after me already?

 

[finalgoodbye:(]

That's why I will try my best to be silent about my suicide, no one needs to know

 

[LastDayOnEarth]

Good thing no one knows about my intentions

 

[CuriousPotato]

That's not your friend anymore.

 

[gottacheckout]

This is one of the few "safe" places to share things regarding ctb

 

[Kadaver]

I had my friend call the pigs on me. I was hand cuffed and put in the back of a cop car like a criminal. And there were so many of them it made me feel like I really was a criminal. Now I only tell people who have no means to call the cops on me; people who don't know who I really am, where I am, and have no connection to anyone in my real life

If I get the cops called on me again I might just do suicide by cop. I'm not going to be locked away again. It fixes nothing.

 

[User111885]

I have a friend I've been open about my feelings with, down to sharing (former, less researched) CTB plans. I'm really trying to get my shit together enough to leave before the month's over, and I checked how he felt about things.

Turns out he would call the cops on me if I told him I was trying something. It's so frustrating on multiple levels, like
1) why would you EVER call the cops on a friend?
2) did he think I wasn't serious before? Did he think I wasn't actually feeling that way? Did he not believe me?
3) Now I'm paranoid about my best friend also betraying me like that, especially when I already promised her I'd give her a proper goodbye video call.

We all already know how much it sucks that our holy bodily autonomy is illegal and punishable, and how feel people are in our objectively correct corner. It just sucks to be reminded that I have to keep my thoughts and feelings bottled up (which is extra hard for me, because OCD).

I guess I should be glad he hasn't sent the pigs after me already?

dealing with a friend dying is hard enough

no one wants to be filled with regret, wondering if they should have or could have done something

he's putting you on notice "i am not willing to hold that guilt" so if you tell him you're going to, if you tell him too much, he'll snitch

he's not trying to take away your choice, or force you to stay, but he doesn't want to be the one that didn't do something and could have

it's fair. he shouldn't have to keep that guilt. it sucks but when you feel really bad, and if you don't want to suffer the humiliation and indignity of hospitalization, you can't really tell anyone... unless you are willing to take the risk of being hospitalized and drugged

like, honestly, you should try to avoid doing that to people you care about if you can help it, because they will feel bad. it sucks no matter what losing someone, but there's a difference between "i wish i had called more, i feel guilty" and "yep, they had SN and said they were about to do it, so I watched netflix" and like, most people will feel a lot worse with option 2

i get wanting to be honest with friends, but they will have the instinct to save you. maybe on some level you want to be saved and should try to do things to get better if you are telling them so much.

 

[Seaghost]

That's why I will try my best to be silent about my suicide, no one needs to know

Objectively you are completly right. The problem is that this can boost the personal feeling of lonliness to another level.
I have the same problem right now and it really really hurts.
But yes...you're right. Telling people could make them chicken out and they try to save you no matter the odds. Talking about suicide seems to be always a big problem, it's a kind of taboo. Everyone expect from you to live especially parents.

 

[bankai]

I had my friend call the pigs on me. I was hand cuffed and put in the back of a cop car like a criminal.

How dare they? It's completely unacceptable. But of course, what I would expect from these people in real life.They're not willing to understand OUR point of view. They just want to escape from their own perceived notion of guilt.

 

[FuneralCry]

That is just so cruel to me, I see so much cruelty in how the suffering of human existence is seen as to force and prolong no matter what, it's just so dreadful to me how we exist in this horrific anti-suicide world where it's a crime to want to choose when we cease existing.

 

[mirage]

Have you considered that they would feel guilty if they did nothing and you actually killed yourself? Sharing your plans with people is a big burden to place on them, don't expect everyone to just accept it. That's why I just keep things to myself or share with people on here.

 

[yeahyeahyeahfan]

dealing with a friend dying is hard enough

no one wants to be filled with regret, wondering if they should have or could have done something

he's putting you on notice "i am not willing to hold that guilt" so if you tell him you're going to, if you tell him too much, he'll snitch

he's not trying to take away your choice, or force you to stay, but he doesn't want to be the one that didn't do something and could have

it's fair. he shouldn't have to keep that guilt. it sucks but when you feel really bad, and if you don't want to suffer the humiliation and indignity of hospitalization, you can't really tell anyone... unless you are willing to take the risk of being hospitalized and drugged

like, honestly, you should try to avoid doing that to people you care about if you can help it, because they will feel bad. it sucks no matter what losing someone, but there's a difference between "i wish i had called more, i feel guilty" and "yep, they had SN and said they were about to do it, so I watched netflix" and like, most people will feel a lot worse with option 2

i get wanting to be honest with friends, but they will have the instinct to save you. maybe on some level you want to be saved and should try to do things to get better if you are telling them so much.

That's extremely fair and a good take actually

 

[TBONTB]

Objectively you are completly right. The problem is that this can boost the personal feeling of lonliness to another level.
I have the same problem right now and it really really hurts.
But yes...you're right. Telling people could make them chicken out and they try to save you no matter the odds. Talking about suicide seems to be always a big problem, it's a kind of taboo. Everyone expect from you to live especially parents.

Ditto to the loneliness. Knowing that I'm hoping to pull of CTB, trying to make arrangements and keeping it private makes me so separate from others. But o know that I cannot tell them, they will definitely want to intervene. So glad for this forum.