Story Friend found out.

[EmoIsNotAPhase]

So 2 friends found out I don't plan on living past 30. One because they kept hounding me about what was wrong and I finally started talking about currently what's going on and then started breaking down and accidentally admitted it. Now that friend told my other friend. He begged me not to mate him go to my funeral. Said he was going to fight the next 2 years to convince me to stay. But I don't want to. Told him I'm out if hope she have no fight left. I'm struggling to make it to 30. How am I making past that? I'm tired. It was an hour long conversation. Worst is he told me he looks at me if bring an example of what an adult is. Now the guilt is really setting in.

 

[chandxoxo]

So 2 friends found out I don't plan on living past 30. One because they kept hounding me about what was wrong and I finally started talking about currently what's going on and then started breaking down and accidentally admitted it. Now that friend told my other friend. He begged me not to mate him go to my funeral. Said he was going to fight the next 2 years to convince me to stay. But I don't want to. Told him I'm out if hope she have no fight left. I'm struggling to make it to 30. How am I making past that? I'm tired. It was an hour long conversation. Worst is he told me he looks at me if bring an example of what an adult is. Now the guilt is really setting in.

typical guilt tripping... this is why I'm not telling anyone... even though I'm 19. they always assume attention seeking anyways so imma ctb with no drama

 

[me_when_:D]

so what will you do?
Did this whole situation change your mind or add doubts to your plans?

 

[EmoIsNotAPhase]

typical guilt tripping... this is why I'm not telling anyone... even though I'm 19. they always assume attention seeking anyways so imma ctb with no drama

He doesn't assume I'm attention seeking and I know he didn't mean to guilt trip he already knows I've attempted. He scared lm following through next time.

 

[chandxoxo]

He doesn't assume I'm attention seeking and I know he didn't mean to guilt trip he already knows I've attempted. He scared lm following through next time.

they assume that for me but I'm glad you've good friends... it's normal for normies to be scared though but they don't know the pain we go through

 

[EmoIsNotAPhase]

so what will you do?
Did this whole situation change your mind or add doubts to your plans?

Idk. Seeing my friend cry over the idea of my funeral is hard. I know I got reasons and people to stay for but my good I am so tired and done with fighting. The idea of a death date is keeping me going right now. I know the pain will be over.

they assume that for me but I'm glad you've good friends... it's normal for normies to be scared though but they don't know the pain we go through

I will say he has an idea. Both my friends are suicidal. One had several attempts this summer. The other one I've gotten a call begging for help cause they didn't have strength to see morning. And I get you can understand but still not want to lose a friend to it.

 

[Tig]

imma ctb with no drama

Sounds like a good plan.

 

[chandxoxo]

Sounds like a good plan.

i still have 141 days though... need to perfect my sn plan... could you help me out in pm or here

 

[me_when_:D]

Idk. Seeing my friend cry over the idea of my funeral is hard. I know I got reasons and people to stay for but my good I am so tired and done with fighting. The idea of a death date is keeping me going right now. I know the pain will be over.

I am kinda in the same situation. I thought I could keep living for others, but it doesn't feel like they actually care about my wellbeing, so eventually my suicidal side won over. Thinking of doing ctb in a month from now

 

[FuneralCry]

I also feel so tired of suffering, I understand just wanting to be free from it all. But anyway I wish you the best.