Help Forced to go a wedding. Please help me!!

[jeevasO-o]

I have autism. If you know what autism is, I think you can understand why a weeding is a place someone autistic would rather not go to.
It's extremely loud, bright, extremely many people that you mostly don't even know or remember, having to sit for hours...
It's hell!!

I already was forced to go to one before and believe me, it was so bad. The only way I could distract myself was by dissociating, daydreaming and dancing with the random people (I didn't go by myself obviously someone told me to come and I did because it distracts me a lot)

I really don't wanna do that again. I have no choice though. My parents are forcing me. They don't care and say "well I don't wanna go either but we have to. Too bad!" No matter how I explain it, they won't listen. I have to get like extremely sick to possibly stay home. Even then, I might get forced to.. which would make it a lot worse. Also I hate being sick, I'd have to be very sick. Probably even then my mom would just give me strong Painkillers and say "deal with it". (Those make me nauseous always ugh)

Even worse is that I'm not allowed to wear headphones or sunglasses because that makes me look "weird". Only thing I could get is some fidget / stimming toys. Earbuds aren't really an option. I lost mine and they REALLY REALLY make my ears hurt and uncomfortable.
It gets even worse I guess, I have anxiety and goddamn this might trigger me badly. I'm off my meds for a bit that's why it's even WORSE.
Of course having BPD doesn't makes it any better!! Yay probably getting random existencal crisses, breakdowns and huge mood swings :D
Anddd.. I MIGHT have ADHD. (Not diagnosed yet though) And just sitting there for hours will be really bad. I already couldn't do that I'm school.

TLDR; I am forced to go to a wedding by my parents, despite me not being able to do that mentally. (I have autism, anxiety, BPD, possible ADHD.) Thus, it'll be extremely bad and hard for me. No way to get headphones or sunglasses. Earbuds won't be good (I lost mine) and they make my ears REALLY hurt. Only some fidget toys are possible. I'm off my meds for sometime too. Even if I'm sick, there's a possibility I'll be forced. It will be very bright, loud, crowded, long.

I have a week time. It's next week.
Please help me!!

 

[Always-in-trouble]

I have autism. If you know what autism is, I think you can understand why a weeding is a place someone autistic would rather not go to.
It's extremely loud, bright, extremely many people that you mostly don't even know or remember, having to sit for hours...
It's hell!!

I already was forced to go to one before and believe me, it was so bad. The only way I could distract myself was by dissociating, daydreaming and dancing with the random people (I didn't go by myself obviously someone told me to come and I did because it distracts me a lot)

I really don't wanna do that again. I have no choice though. My parents are forcing me. They don't care and say "well I don't wanna go either but we have to. Too bad!" No matter how I explain it, they won't listen. I have to get like extremely sick to possibly stay home. Even then, I might get forced to.. which would make it a lot worse. Also I hate being sick, I'd have to be very sick. Probably even then my mom would just give me strong Painkillers and say "deal with it". (Those make me nauseous always ugh)

Even worse is that I'm not allowed to wear headphones or sunglasses because that makes me look "weird". Only thing I could get is some fidget / stimming toys. Earbuds aren't really an option. I lost mine and they REALLY REALLY make my ears hurt and uncomfortable.
It gets even worse I guess, I have anxiety and goddamn this might trigger me badly. I'm off my meds for a bit that's why it's even WORSE.
Of course having BPD doesn't makes it any better!! Yay probably getting random existencal crisses, breakdowns and huge mood swings :D
Anddd.. I MIGHT have ADHD. (Not diagnosed yet though) And just sitting there for hours will be really bad. I already couldn't do that I'm school.

TLDR; I am forced to go to a wedding by my parents, despite me not being able to do that mentally. (I have autism, anxiety, BPD, possible ADHD.) Thus, it'll be extremely bad and hard for me. No way to get headphones or sunglasses. Earbuds won't be good (I lost mine) and they make my ears REALLY hurt. Only some fidget toys are possible. I'm off my meds for sometime too. Even if I'm sick, there's a possibility I'll be forced. It will be very bright, loud, crowded, long.

I have a week time. It's next week.
Please help me!!

Fuck them. I despise when I also have to go to big public events like these without my consent. Last year, I had to go to this rising stars evemts for looked after children and t made me so awkward to be there. Especially as most of those people actually did things to deserve recognition while I only got a certificate that said ''congrats for being a polite and well-spoken man''. What's the point of being forced to go around when you have nothing much to do!
Actually, I wonder if you can find someone to play a video game on your phone (if you are allowed) with? I think that will waste some time on something you enjoy if you manage to convince your parents or hide well enough.

 

[Alpacachino]

Being forced to visit family functions as a kid. I definitely remember your pain vividly. I don't see a way around it. It's part of the price we have to pay growing up.

Maybe you can say there's an important event you have to attend to at school or work or something?

 

[Always-in-trouble]

Being forced to visit family functions as a kid. I definitely remember your pain vividly. I don't see a way around it. It's part of the price we have to pay growing up.

Maybe you can say there's an important event you have to attend to at school or work or something?

Her parents seem insistent to the point that she will go even when she is sick by making some stupid excuse on why she has to go.

 

[Forveleth]

To be fair, unless they pick you up and carry you out to the car, they cannot force you to go to the wedding. They obviously do not understand or do not care what is going on with you. I know it is possibly very difficult, but this could be a good opportunity to stand up and assert what you need to be happy and healthy.

As far as if you go, is there a way you can take some sort of headphones or earplugs with you? Also take something to keep you occupied? Could there be a quiet place at the venue that you can slip away, like a lobby area or something? I am not autistic but highly introverted and can only handle big crowds for so long. At functions like this, I always manage to find a quieter place and do something to keep myself entertained until it is time to go home.

 

[Dreamwalker]

Im so so sorry this is happening to you. I think I'm echoing someone else, but I would say try to hide at the wedding as best you can. Maybe take something to help you disassociate easier, but still mask well enough to get by ?? I hope you get through either way <3

 

[Macedonian1987]

I am autistic too, and in my entire life I attended just one wedding out of curiosity. I hated every second I spent there, I saw it as a loud expensive and totally uninteresting ritual. I never went to another wedding afterwards and this was way back in 2007. When I was asked to go another wedding afterwards, I flat out rejected the offer.

 

[Worndown]

Have a plan. You know how they go.
Break it down into parts.

When to separate for a while.

Say hello to a few people that know your parents.

Break.

When to dance. Start looking for good dance partners when you get there.

Make sure to say something nice to the bride and groom. Then circle out for a break.

Dance. Break. Dance. Break.

Figure in a few unexpected interactions. How will you handle those.

Treat it like a military exercise. You have objectives. Make a plan. Focus on the plan.

If this does not come naturally, manufacture your happy participation.

Do it right and you will be busy enough you might not remember you hate being there.

Let us know how it goes.