Discussion For those with body dysmorphia/appearance fixation, how do you deal with it?

[pedro3211]

I've been struggling with obsessive and compulsive tendencies regarding my appearance for as long as I can remember. It's been seriously affecting my mental health and quality of life for years too. I'm not sure if I'm able to keep going, how do you deal with this?

 

[sacrilegeofsouls]

Well with ocd there's only one way to stop the loop you get the thought the worry the anxiety and then you do nothing in response to it. It's hard obviously but that's the price to pay for salvation as much as I'd like there to be an easier way the only solution is to stop checking stop doing the compulsions wether they be physical or mental stop looking at other people and comparing yourself or looking at the mirror when you feel like doing so to check your appearance whenever you feel that anxiety just do no action that is motivated by that anxiety
And keep doing whatever you were wether that be study or fun

 

[tonicer]

I always thought i am ugly because of how people react to me and at first i tried to somehow get less ugly but nothing worked so i just gave up and accepted it. This acceptance brought me a lot of confidence and i was able to walk around in stores full of random people some of which look at my weirdly or laugh etc. and i could handle it. It even went so far that i only wear colorful clothes and intentionally mismatched socks, so one blue and one red.

Acceptance was the key for me, your mileage may vary.

 

[raincandy_v]

I deal with similar, but honestly I don't do it well. I keep my vanity in my room covered with a tapestry and I don't look in the mirror in the bathroom. I don't like seeing myself, and honestly any time Indo it makes me feel worse. You could try positive affirmations about yourself, finding something you like. Maybe it will work for you.

 

[My_name_is_Luka]

as you grow older, it becomes less important. There are other things in life that cause much greater grief, and hopefully you won't have to fight against them.
Work on yourself to feel valuable, like getting a decent career. And maybe work on your body by doing sports

 

[Mgelanie]

I've been struggling with obsessive and compulsive tendencies regarding my appearance for as long as I can remember. It's been seriously affecting my mental health and quality of life for years too. I'm not sure if I'm able to keep going, how do you deal with this?

I try to avoid looking at myself

 

[LostHighway]

I've been struggling with obsessive and compulsive tendencies regarding my appearance for as long as I can remember. It's been seriously affecting my mental health and quality of life for years too. I'm not sure if I'm able to keep going, how do you deal with this?

I have it too. And it's harder as I age. I have a long gap between my nose and mouth. I was born with it. I can't help it. I feel people pity me because of it. Anyway, what helps me is this: I think about the people I adore in my life. Do they have imperfections? Of course. Do I love them anyway? Do I think they're imperfect people because they aren't flawlessly perfect looking people? Of course not. I love them to pieces JUST the way they are. So, I hope they love me despite my goofy appearance. And strangers - if they judge me based on my looks - so be it.

 

[somedaybutnottoday]

I avoid mirrors. I can't even touch myself anymore. I feel disgusted.

 

[gentarouhongou]

damn same sending v hugs <3

 

[notreallybored]

ב''ה, I'm ugly and don't find humans pleasing to look at or be around anyway. Arguably I've got some mildly disfiguring conditions.

What actually got me over even caring about it was recognizing that all aesthetic standards only exist for financial/economic reasons, as with all human relations pretty much anywhere anyway.

 

[dirkw83]

what helps me is focusing on others instead of myself, maybe it won't work for you

 

[fluorescentpearl]

I just starve and pick at my skin and avoid mirrors

 

[TheBag]

I've been struggling with obsessive and compulsive tendencies regarding my appearance for as long as I can remember. It's been seriously affecting my mental health and quality of life for years too. I'm not sure if I'm able to keep going, how do you deal with this?

I know how this is. I've been struggling with issues about my looks for most of my life as well. Strangely enough, in retrospect, I was actually rather good looking in my youth, but I was so obsessively consumed with certain "imperfections" in my face that it kept me busy all day and it made me extremely unsure about myself (friends and family got super annoyed with my b******* thoughts about my appearance.). Whether or not I was in a relationship did help to some extent.

Amusingly enough now, that i'm getting old, I am really becoming unattractive . Luckily , these things get less urgent as you age. And I consider myself lucky, in that respect.

I've also had OCD at a very young age which really spiked in the days when I was in the military service. It eventually led to a voluntary commitment in a specialized OCD/Anxiety clinic. Before that, I regularly used targeted medication against my OCD, which either actively worked, or made me feel better despite having the symptoms.

I know from experience that both Rational Emotive Therapy RET (nowadays called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) combined with Exposure therapy and Affirmations only go so far with OCD or GAD.

If you suspect that your issues might mostly be powered by your OCD then you may consider targeted medication (SSRI/TCA). Not necessarily for a very long time, but maybe try it for six months or so. That's usually long enough to decide whether it's helping you.

A word of advice: do some thorough research for potential, long lasting/irreversible side effects of these medications before considering them.

Best of luck!

 

[melon-melancholy]

I try to wait it out since the feeling can come in waves.

 

[No-name]

I try to be an example to others. By being strong in the gym. Trying to see all people as beautiful. Also old people and not so good looking. Helping others in my work. I have ADD and tire easly too. So I focus on one thing at a time. My mental state also effects the way I see things, so I try and work on that.

Trying to realise that the woman i felt in love with 10 years ago and had one summer with, is stil beautifull, though she is old and became a bit chubby, so looks arent all saying. Also the rat race and porn etc, I started to dislike it. Women dressing with only their arse showing, men driving BMW's and talking big, is just so shallow. Because people just want to reproduce and the world is already overpopulated. The rat race is going nowhere. I already felt that before I got BDD.

I try giving up on my strong ideals, letting go. Putting away the shield and just taking it slow. I am a soul not a body, type of thinking. Stop attacking myself and be something that experiences. Realising I had people that loved and liked me and still do. Clients that appreciate me and even coworkers saying I am a great guy. Not forgetting how beautiful you can be on the inside and paying focus to things I like. And there would stil be features on the outside that people like.

Not going to the mirror, or at least one that shows my full body and only on good moments. Not just one feature. Compensating by being fit. Having said all that BDD really sucks. I have kind of ADD too, i realize there isnt enough dopamine in my frontal lobe and just a hard time to focus. Probably because I have genetics from brother with schizophrenia. But when I focus I try not to much on looks, but other things.

But my inland empire is gigantic, I am dreamy and listen to a lot of music. I can lay out great connections in my brain and am great at abstract and associative thinking. I like to think deeply.

 

[iamjustapebble]

I don't lol