For those of you that are intelligent, healthy etc. Why suicide?

[BruhXDDDDD]

Inability to get over my misanthropy, especially with regards to the concepts of religion and justice. About a quarter of the world's population has managed to get duped by a 7th century douchebag warlord. Meanwhile, almost everyone (including people on this site) has a sense of justice that doesn't account for a complete lack of free will. i'm sick of seeing people wishing suffering on terrible people when, with worse luck, they would have been born with the exact same brain structure. i'm tired of watching people's consciousnesses suffer simply because they were born with the body of someone terrible. it seems especially perverse when these same people will abuse animals for food but shriek over dumb bullshit like 3 year age gaps in relationships.

 

[DeadManLiving]

I had a decent upbringing, worked remarkably hard and eventually graduated from a T20 University with a STEM degree. Worked at multiple hedge funds on Wall Street for half a decade. After a traumatic brain injury everything went to shit withering in financial and emotional ruin.

Success is a vacuum that will suck you in, at the opportunity cost of time best spent elsewhere, in lieu of mechanically drilling into a mountain of ever increasing pressure under the weight of competition that will eventually spit you out. Just when you see the sparkle of light at the end of the tunnel, it's a train coming.

Romantic relationships are like dynamite, it's all butterflies and fireworks until the years go by and something blows up.

Your life can change in a second. You're only moving from one triumph to the next tragedy, from heartthrob to the next heartbreak, and just when everything starts to cozy up and fall in place - every day of smooth sailing is only one day closer to an epic crushing storm! No matter how hard you try or how strong you are, life has a way of catching up to you and short-changing your ideal expectations, if not destroying them altogether.

After three years of gut-wrenching soul searching, I have finally come to surrender to the warm peace of accepting my end. There's nothing like the the celestial peace of opting-out, CBT'ing next month.

Like a casino. The total sum of pain in life will always exceed its gains, and there's no point in playing a game where the odds are against you.

Life is a cruel war.

No to war.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Dysphoric. I was not born the correct sex and I do not believe transitioning would be adequate enough for me to live a happy existence. I will still be jealous of attractive women, so I must CTB so I don't have to suffer.

 

[Anon1337]

Depressed.

Inability to fit in with society.

 

[SeenMoreThanEnough]

Before my sickness came over me, I was extremely happy. I was never the smartest strongest or coolest, but I found things that I enjoyed and did them to fill my time. If I had my health I would be the same happy bloke that I was before. I had shows that I liked, books that I loved, and friends that cared about me. My sickness took this all away from me. I'm having trouble grasping how people have everything that I want still want to kill themselves. I'm not invalidating your experience I'm only curious.

Intelligence, and above-average intelligence, is more often a curse than a blessing. Intelligent people are often more perceptive and sensitive to reality and the inherent suffering in life. They have high expectations for themselves without realizing that many of life's successes are dependent on luck.

The thing that always gets me (as others have also said above) is the sheer pointlessness of it. My father, who is 75, always tells me that 'we get one chance, so enjoy what you can and try to stick around as long as you can' when we talk about this stuff. He's quite wise, but one memory I'll always have to laugh about is from the time I told him that there are more stars in the Universe than grains of sand on all of earths' beaches. The way he scoffed and declared it impossible was quite surprising.

 

[Scythe]

I am healthy, yes I am intelligent...yes IQ wise, probably just average, (assuming by ibtelligent you mean average or better) while my EQ is absolutly nightmarish. But life isn't just about being avervage level intelligent and healthy. If you cannot achieve your dreams, protect the things and people important to you, obtain the aspects/ things you precieve as valueable and priceless. What do you live for? I probably can achieve my dream if I endure a few more years of suffering but I will never be able to comfort my friends when I need them because I simply can't and don't think I can ever learn how to. And I don't think I can ever truly obtain the aspects I value. And I am so tired of life, and I just can't catch a break I don't want to endure god knows how many more years of suffering to achieve my dream. So, I'm here, trying to get an appointment with the grim reaper.

 

[castlebravo]

Before my sickness came over me, I was extremely happy. I was never the smartest strongest or coolest, but I found things that I enjoyed and did them to fill my time. If I had my health I would be the same happy bloke that I was before. I had shows that I liked, books that I loved, and friends that cared about me. My sickness took this all away from me. I'm having trouble grasping how people have everything that I want still want to kill themselves. I'm not invalidating your experience I'm only curious.

I had suicidal thoughts occasionally when I was healthy. Every problem I faced was a catastrophe in my mind. But I never made plans until my health took a nosedive. I don't plan on living when my body fails to work properly.

 

[nomotels1443]

Ever since i was a kid i was always praised for being smart, getting straight a's and scoring high on an iq test
but ever since i came out as trans my family began to turn against me and i went from the prized child to a black sheep
i feel so alone
i have a lot of talents but i can't bear to live anymore
i don't do anything because i'm so drained
there is no point in me having potential if i don't have the strength to get to it

 

[RN12]

Because a antidepressant for workstress ruined and ravaged my complete body after 9 months of use. I'm tortured to death still. 2 years later.
I had a beautiful life, i guess people were even jealous at my life.. But unbearable now with extreme pain, burning skin, neuropathy and i can go on.

 

[NumbItAll]

Mental health is health... imagine feeling despair 24/7 no matter what happens. I guess you just have to experience it to understand. Personally I'd be a lot happier with a partner but that's not possible because no one ever sees me that way. There were brief times where I had someone, or thought I did, and was easily discarded because I am worthless and invalid. Also I've never been able to work because of my depression and anxiety issues (manifesting as DP/DR if I do too much).

 

[newbie87]

Before my sickness came over me, I was extremely happy. I was never the smartest strongest or coolest, but I found things that I enjoyed and did them to fill my time. If I had my health I would be the same happy bloke that I was before. I had shows that I liked, books that I loved, and friends that cared about me. My sickness took this all away from me. I'm having trouble grasping how people have everything that I want still want to kill themselves. I'm not invalidating your experience I'm only curious.

Being intelligent is a curse, you understand lots of things from reality, but there are times you don't understand some people attitude. You can have friends, but due to the difficulty to find somebody to talk too about some things, people seem plain and happy with things you can see as stupid.

The same happens with weird things, you can understand that there is a threat, something is not working as it should. You try to warn people but they tell you that you are crazy. Then time proves you right, but most people, due to shame or prepotence won't come to you. So you are lonely.

You can have lots of ideas, adapt to situations, solve lots of problems due to your high intelligence, but neither of this grants you happiness.

About being healthy I don't know, I have improved my health a lot and after all I had I can think that now I'm healthy (not mentally). I've survived to everything in my life (cancers, heart attacks, rape, assaults...), but it's tiring and there is a moment when you realize that, if something else happens it is enough. For example, if I am detected a cancer again, I won't fight it. I want to stop fighting and if I need something will be paliative. If possible I will ask for euthanasia so it will be cheaper for the health system of the country.

I have good friends, divorced parents that love me, etc. but I feel alone. I have no love, no partner, no family, no future expectancies. I have my survival assured due to my intelligence and knowing how to survive, in society or in nature.

But... you know? I'm tired. I'm tired of living. I've been fighting all my life for survival (bullies, being transgender, cancer, illness, familiar problems, fighting vs the system, bureaucracy, etc.)... I have helped hundreds of people along my life, I've saved lives... and now what? I had to struggle with the worst anxiety on my life and now again with depression (I have always been depressive since I was a child).

I am so tired that I'm thinking of suicide again. Every day. I think if life is really this. Hey, I've helped lots of people, I had love in my life, lots of experiences. It's like I don't want more. I want to stop and rest peacefully.

I need to be selfish once in my life, and I can only think in choosing my end. I am sorry for those I love and love me, but they have their survival guaranteed due to their perspectives of life.

Can I choose when to go out of the train of life? I only want peace.

 

[omlet]

Before my sickness came over me, I was extremely happy. I was never the smartest strongest or coolest, but I found things that I enjoyed and did them to fill my time. If I had my health I would be the same happy bloke that I was before. I had shows that I liked, books that I loved, and friends that cared about me. My sickness took this all away from me. I'm having trouble grasping how people have everything that I want still want to kill themselves. I'm not invalidating your experience I'm only curious.

I'm very ugly.

 

[MideonNViscera]

I have been emotionally broken my entire life, and it's rendered any intelligence or health I may have completely useless.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

We know too much. Ignorance is bliss.

 

[je.suis.prêt]

For me, there just isn't anything to look forward to in life. When I think about where my life could go and how it has gone so far, I find it hard to come to conclusions besides my life being worthless.

 

[lionetta12]

Before my sickness came over me, I was extremely happy. I was never the smartest strongest or coolest, but I found things that I enjoyed and did them to fill my time. If I had my health I would be the same happy bloke that I was before. I had shows that I liked, books that I loved, and friends that cared about me. My sickness took this all away from me. I'm having trouble grasping how people have everything that I want still want to kill themselves. I'm not invalidating your experience I'm only curious.

The more aware and intellectual you get, the more depressing and lonely life is. It's hard to feel understood and to connect with people on the same level as you when its hard to find people that are similar in those ways.

You also just notice how horrible people and the world is in general and ponder about it all day. It gives me anxiety and a lot more depression. Unable to relax.

 

[Unending]

I just really have begun to feel like I am incompatible with life. I've been severely depressed since I was a kid and slowly began to realize that the way I felt was not normal. Difficult childhood, difficulty interacting with others, etc. I just feel as though I've sunk further into pessimism and my own world of pain with every year.

I put all the effort and money that I could into transitioning and still apparently look like the wrong gender to the majority of people. I have internalized a lot of the hate of trans people and now just wear pants and a shirt everyday because I'm too scared to dress any other way. It doesn't help that I have extra Ptsd from a very horrible instance of being assaulted in what most likely was a hate crime.

I think that years and years of suffering and dysfunction has just sort of rewired my brain to experience mostly misery. I used to maintain positivity and put in as much effort as I could muster towards recovery and being a good person but eventually realized that my effort was leading me nowhere at all. I still try to be nice but don't have it in me so I'm more likely to just not even engage people in the first place.

It's a lot harder to function even at the bare minimum whenever you realize that nothing is changing whether you try or not. It feels as though this life is one big loop for me with variations only coming about over the course of years. For the time being, I have completely given up on friendships and everything else deemed meaningful. I genuinely don't see it getting better in any reasonable time span and my experience thus far tells me that when it gets better, it won't last long before the overwhelming sense of mental anguish and emptiness comes back. This is my pretty much why I anticipate ctb being in my future.

 

[Rabbit50]

I am physically healthy. I have been with my current employer for over 28 years and haven't taken a single sick day. I'm intelligent, as I hold a respected chartered qualification. I'm talented in several areas. Yet anxiety has torn my life to shreds. I'm having treatment for 'decision anxiety' (fear of making decisions). It's not just a fear, but my brain makes me lose grip of reality and makes excuses for me not to have to make a decision.
I'm only just realising what a devastating effect this has had on me and how I have been living my life 'wrong'. A few years ago, I inherited some money and was in a great position to buy my first home. But I panicked at the thought of having to make a decision and my brain 'switched off'. I saw properties online, but made 'what if?' excuses not to view them. Then, when I saw another one a few months later, I would think that it wasn't as nice as the ones I had seen a few months ago, so perhaps I should save some more.
I was living with my girlfriend at the time. She was waiting for me to propose, which I wanted to, but it always seemed like 'the wrong time'. Eventually, she got fed up with me and dumped me, making me homeless.
My employer was taken over three years ago and I was given a new job. I hate it and don't perform well. It seems pointless and doesn't make use of my skills. I used to do a similar job and I was removed from it as I was so useless at it.
I'm staying with someone who used to be my friend but I am getting sexually abused by them. I can't resist as they will tell me to leave if I do.
I have gone from being happy and being able to afford a lovely home, with a long term girlfriend, to being a depressed, anxious, single, homeless wreck. Every hour, I think about how my anxiety has ruined not just my life, but my ex-girlfriend's too. I wanted a family with her, but she wasted so much time with me that her opportunity to have children has passed, yet she wanted a family so desperately. Our mutual friends tell me that she isolates herself and is unhappy now.
I really can't see any hope for me now. I can never forgive myself for ruining my ex's life and dreams. My self confidence has evaporated. I need to ctb before I ruin someone else's life. All I need to do is choose my method. But that's a decision that I would have to make and it's the fear of making a decision that has got me in to this mess. My suicide note will just say 'At last, I was able to make a decision'.

 

[Ernest1964]

I'm not really old, yet, but in my fifties. No major health issues, yet, but have some minor issues. My family has all died. No real friends. So, yeah, lonely. The biggest thing for me is that I look to the future and I see nothing good on the horizon. I see, eventually, some kind of serious sickness coming and really would have a hard time when that happens being as alone as I am. Contemplating a future like that is just too much. If something happens whereby I am unable to drive anymore, I couldn't even go and get food easily. You think about those kinds of things when you literally have no one. I want to go while I am still able to make that decision for myself, and able to carry it out for myself. There's nothing left for me here. It's the same old, same old every day. I have no desire to keep doing this. Not for much longer, anyway. I'm trying to wrap things up, now.

YES! 100% YES. I am in a similar situation. I have depression and have been on antidepressants for 20+ years, I am diabetic (Type 2), but besides that I am in fine health. I'm not overly sad, I'm in my late 50s and I have lived a fairly fulfilling life. It is my fault but I have no savings, so when I am out of work, and I can't find a new job, I will have BIG financial problems. I live outside of the USA, though I am a US citizen.

The question is: What more can I accomplish? I don't see much more for me in the next 5 to 10 years. So I might as well CTB.

 

[itsallpointless]

I don't really think any truly healthy person would wanna commit suicide...

 

[allblackallwhite]

I've lost everything so many times now it's a sick joke. I lost my kids. I lost my family. I lost my wife. It has wrecked me and now I've lost my mind. I can barely work. I'm confused all the time. There's not a single thing I enjoy doing. I've been circling the drain for years and all it's done is get worse and worse.

 

[brokenpersi]

She's gone and nobody gonna replace her ever. So it's not my world anymore . Trying to give a life last one chance though, but it would be miracle if I'm succeed

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

If you commit suicide though you are healthy and successful then you are insane, thats one definition of insanity.

 

[Zulu]

This world is exhausting. Dealing with humanity is exhausting. Trying to survive day in and day out doing the same thing over and over is exhausting. Being a wage slave is exhausting. I have lost everything twice. I have lived most of my life a lie personally and professionally, pursuing careers I have no passion for as a means of sustaining an affordable living, having been peer pressured at a young age. I don't have the financial means to start over and go after something that actually interests me. I have seen some of the darkest sides of human nature, some of which coming from my own flesh and blood wishing me dead and abusing me. I have no real family to lean on for safety and support, save for two to three individuals I still care a great deal about. Even then, I still greatly struggle in trying to trust others.

It does not matter how much money I make, I am perpetually stuck in this cycle for the next 30-40 years. Even then, I will never make enough money to the point where I never have to worry about money again. I have no safety net. I have no one to lean on for help if the going ever gets rough financially. No one to save me. I have no way of saving for retirement, or achieving financial milestones. The moment I lose my income, I'm fucked. That's all my life is; being a wage slave motivated by money to stay alive. My life otherwise serves no real purpose. I unironically wallow in misery on my days off so much more than when I'm actually at work. I struggle in finding purpose. The only things that keep me going are a stupid high survival instinct, and those two to three individuals I care about. Otherwise, I'd already be gone.

This life is a bad joke. In the grand scheme of things, if life were a video game, I'd just hit the restart button, or rip the game out and smash it to pieces with an epic rage quit. I recognize I have a losing hand, and that it is otherwise pointless to keep going. All of my past achievements, none of them really mattered in the end. I am nothing outside of work and money. I know I'm a failure at life. All I truly yearn for is the deep sleep. I just want to be free.

 

[resolutory]

Mainly being a social pariah. I just can't socialize like normal humans, I can't have relationships like normal humans and this causes immense mental agony that gets worse and worse as I get older and older and see my life slipping away. And no one can help me, despite everyone thinking they can.

A lot of people consider friends, family, relationships as more important than money, success, etc, in the grand scheme of things. They say 'what I learnt in life is that money doesn't mean anything. It's your friends that make life worth living.' In that case, I believe that that should be I'm unable to live a life that is worth living. And I certainly feel this.

 

[Abadoned_Me]

im not smart, im not even healthy, but i guess im lucky, i got the jack pot in looks.
I have a hourglass body, almost completely clear skin, ect.
but im a sick- a VERY sick person (physically, and mentally)

Physically im underweight, I look sickly, and probably at any moment could drop dead.

mentally im even worse, im pro-sh, also pro-ed, I support ctb, I hide away in my home and never come out unless if I have to.

im messed up, probably because of my childhood (grew up where abuse was normalized. a.k.a my family abused me horribly and still does, i watched g0re for hours straight and still would if I had access to it, and have been outcasted my whole life)

thats why I want to ctb, im horrible, i deserve pain.