For how long have you been yearning to CTB?

[TheSource]

About 12 years. I'm only 20. CTB date is next week. I don't want to deal with this any longer.

 

[Albertarnation]

Years. Think of it everyday

 

[g&hexmhn]

It was maybe before I turned 9? I don't know when before that, but I do remember wanting to ctb somewhere before my 9th birthday. Then again, I was scared of death, so I never tried it. Although, when I was 11, I wasn't really scared of death anymore, so my first attempt was when I was 12.

 

[NocturnILL]

I was 12 when I first attempted and obviously failed. Through the years I've had failed attempts. I also got to a point where I was "looking up" in life and really fighting to avoid any ideation. The last few years it was more of an in between months thing. In the last year it's been a daily thing just waiting for the "right time" because I'd be thinking of everyone around me. Now it's just daily but all day kind of drag like it's calling me. I'm sure now it's a "right time" more than ever.

 

[udusa]

The first time I seriously thought of CTB, was when I was 11 years old, but I was too scared to even try something.
However, at that time, it was just a dumb idea that kept coming back, but I eventually could get over it and continue with life.
All until 6 months ago, when a shocking event happened to me. Ever since that, I have been thinking daily about death.