Discussion For everyone with OCD, can you relate?

[Iris Blue]

So I've been diagnosed with OCD for a decent amount of years now and one symptom in particular that is a huge pain in the ass is obsessive thinking.

Anyways, how does that affect you and your suicidal feelings? Are you like me and:

-Have never ending thoughts about it all day everyday
-Spend as much time as you can planning and replanning on how to die
-Feeling so much worse because of your suicidal needs with your OCD

Or am I just crazy and everyone is like this OCD or not?

 

[hermestrimegistus]

The worst part for me is probably intrusive thoughts. And then the endless loop of thinking about not thinking about it. Sometimes I wish I could unplug my brain. Literally haunted by thought patterns

 

[Iris Blue]

The worst part for me is probably intrusive thoughts. And then the endless loop of thinking about not thinking about it. Sometimes I wish I could unplug my brain. Literally haunted by thought patterns

Yea there was a time for me a few months ago where I think I was emotionally numb and I had no thoughts or feelings of wanting to die. But instead of enjoying no longer constantly thinking about wanting to die I was just constantly thinking about why I don't constantly think about wanting to die anymore. But it wore off in less than a week so we are back to the usual.

 

[Silent_cries]

The worst part for me is probably intrusive thoughts. And then the endless loop of thinking about not thinking about it. Sometimes I wish I could unplug my brain. Literally haunted by thought patterns

This is how I feel no easy at all I no write normal now because ocd I no talk irl either I feel un-free I need help I'm seeing a doctor today and need to be able to talk this is very no funny

 

[astonishedturnip]

I'm the same way. It's just awful. Literally no way to stop the intrusive thoughts and loops and they happen as soon as I wake up.

 

[Hotsackage]

My brain obsessed about crap I don't even care about, and yes I've done that before

 

[anhedonya]

I definitely get what you mean. Not a moment goes by where I'm not thinking about it unless I'm obsessing about something else. It used to be really bad to the point where I couldn't sit down on certain places because it felt contaminated and I couldn't go outside without taking a shower before AND after, which only further isolated me. Nowadays it focuses a lot on repetitive little tasks. I have to turn the cold water knob into a closed state 3 times then 1 extra just to be sure but it creates this awful buzzing in my brain even when I do. A bunch of little things like that which spill into my planning. I have to check AirBNB's multiple times a day and reload 3+1 on the tabs that have outdoor pools. If they have cameras facing the outdoor pools then I add that home owner to my mental
blacklist.

I do all of this and more every single day. It used to be so much worse and take up a LOT of my time but nowadays I feel that, since it's not as "brain buzzing" bad as it could be, I should just go ahead with the compulsions to satisfy my brain.

At least we're in the same looping boat lol