Venting Fool.

[hikikomorizombie]

i truly despise myself, & i think ever since i stopped feeling things, i forgot that. but i was just reminded why i do.

i <3 jewelry & keep my rings on me @ all times, i like to fiddle w them for comfort/to help distract me from thoughts i don't wanna think. i went to twist my thumb ring, & it's gone. it's not on any of my other fingers, it's not in my bed, & there's no way im gonna find it in this house. it could be in the trash for all ik. i wonder why this is making me feel sick & kinda panicky. i was debating writing this bc it'd force me to think abt it & now i'm kinda regretting it, but i need to express my hatred for me. bc how do u let that happen??? how do u lose smthg off of ur own body, esp smthg that was a main source of comfort for u, when all u do is stay in the same place & r o t??????? by being a fucking idiot that never learns their lesson no matter how many times it gets taught, that's how.

i feel like i'm missing a part of me now. i've had that ring since i was 16, my mom gave it to me back when i was still brainwashed enough to think she was really my best friend. i liked having a reminder of our closer times, even if it's tinged w fakeness. i h8 how much this is affecting me rn. maybe it's bc i smoked, but weed always calms me, so i doubt it. i guess this is just another shitty thing i have to accept. & another thing i can only blame myself for. out of everything else i've accepted, it should be easy, but it's really bothering me & my hand feels weird now w/o it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry. I completely understand- it's horrible when we lose things that are special (I was going to say 'precious' but that seemed too Lord of the Rings) to us- especially when they hold sentimental value. It's not something I think you should hate yourself over though. It's just one of those horrible accidents in life. I doubt you were even being clumsy or absent minded. It's easy to just not notice things. I so hope you find it. My Dad lost his wedding ring a little while back and it really upset him but, it did turn up. I really hope you find it. Do you take your rings off at night? Are you sure you put it on this morning?

 

[hikikomorizombie]

I'm so sorry. I completely understand- it's horrible when we lose things that are special (I was going to say 'precious' but that seemed too Lord of the Rings) to us- especially when they hold sentimental value. It's not something I think you should hate yourself over though. It's just one of those horrible accidents in life. I doubt you were even being clumsy or absent minded. It's easy to just not notice things. I so hope you find it. My Dad lost his wedding ring a little while back and it really upset him but, it did turn up. I really hope you find it. Do you take your rings off at night? Are you sure you put it on this morning?

thank u for ur reply :') i was feeling a lil silly over how frazzled it got me. i tried to search for it again this morning, but it's gone. i feel less panicky now but i'm still upset, esp bc i never take em off, so it must've been while i was fiddling w it ://

glad to hear ur dad found his ring again though, maybe that'll happen for me too</3

 

[Forever Sleep]

thank u for ur reply :') i was feeling a lil silly over how frazzled it got me. i tried to search for it again this morning, but it's gone. i feel less panicky now but i'm still upset, esp bc i never take em off, so it must've been while i was fiddling w it ://

glad to hear ur dad found his ring again though, maybe that'll happen for me too</3

No, it's nothing to feel silly over. My Dad's in his late 70's and it really upset him. It's not just the object- it's what we associate with it. Yours may well turn up. I really hope it does. This is stupid but I've actually been upset when I lost pairs of scissors! They turned up too in the end. It was like greeting an old friend. Had you left the house that day? Can you try and narrow your search down? Were you taking off jumpers and coats that may have pulled it off?

 

[hikikomorizombie]

No, it's nothing to feel silly over. I've actually been upset when I lost pairs of scissors! They turned up too in the end. It was like greeting an old friend. Had you left the house that day? Can you try and narrow your search down? Were you taking off jumpers and coats that may have pulled it off?

you're v sweet :') i'm glad someone can relate to me feeling this way. i haven't left the house in months, but i did check jackets just to be sure, & nada ://

this convo's made me feel much better though, i don't feel like im losing my mind anymorehaha. thanks, forever!!!<3

 

[Deadfrogwalking]

Fully understand, keep looking !!!

I feel the same about these, the bracelet has been on my wrist for almost 32 years, couldn't function if it got lost.
The ring for Three now.
Both have special meaning and are irreplaceable.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

I feel the same about these, the bracelet has been on my wrist for almost 32 years, couldn't function if it got lost.
The ring for Three now.
Both have special meaning and are irreplaceable.

so u personally get it! it def felt like i couldn't function for a lil at 1st :') beautiful jewelry btw. if only i could've been responsible enough to keep mine that long (even tho i plan to be dead soon, lol)sigh. i really don't know how i managed this.

 

[curiousfawn]

im sorry to hear that :[ u shouldnt blame urself though cus u were under the influence! if u think abt it nothing rlly matters cus (i assume) we'll all die soon anyway so (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟﾟﾟ, when i was in hs my penpal sent me a friendship bracelet n i wore it to school everyday, i remember the day i lost it i actually had to go to the bathroom to have a mini panic attack lol so i relate to ur story alot anyway i hope u feel better soon!!