Flu Blues

[Zoloft Muncher]

So Ive gotten the flu and I feel terrible physically. My throat hurts, my nose is stuffed, and my head is burning. But with this I also feel very down and depressed. I was thinking about the brutality of the American prison system and I feel tremendous pity for many of the people suffering through it. I know this is will be incredibly controversial, but these are my simple feelings and I don't think I should be mocked for it. Opinions criticized Im fine with, but please don't attack me. As a person on the autism spectrum Ive always had a very strong level of sympathy towards others. It revolted me to see people in pain, I just wanted to crawl into a little hole to shield myself from the brutality of the world. Eventually the feeling became too much and I tried to kill myself, twice, convicted that I was an evil personn even though I had done nothing.

In the aftermath of my attempts I initially greatly struggled with homicidal and abuse impulses towards people and animals, ater my suicide attempt I turned my empathy off in order to protect myself from the world, thus causing these completely mercyless urges. I wont lie , I still have some of these urges. In many murderers I cant help but see myself. I cant help but feel pity and sadness. I often times still want to crawl into a little hole and hide.

I know this post will probably piss people off, but what's the point of making an account if I wont share my opinions...