plurkid
Night is right
- Mar 16, 2023
- 80
This is the first time I've reached out for ideas to people. This is me venting for the first time and asking for suggestions. It's nice to know there's a space where this can be discussed without judgement. I've thought about ending myself ever since I was around 12, I'm 25 now and Ive waited long enough. I've sent the last week truly dedicating myself to thinking this through and looking over options. I've made a huge list of resources, ideas, desires and fears and it looks like I don't have an exact timeline or due date, though I'd prefer for my grandparents to die before I CTB as they've already lost my mom and I don't want them to suffer anymore deaths in the family.
I want to do it alone in nature, perhaps go on a camping trip somewhere remote. I want to see the sunset, pleiades one last time, and then end it in the night. I've looked at the methods and it's difficult deciding how. I want to be unconscious before any symptoms set in and I'd like it to be peaceful with little to no pain or suffering. But judging my the threads on here it's more complicated than I thought. My mom failed at this multiple times (overdose attempts) and I am deathly afraid of what happens if I fail so I want to be sure the first time succeeds.
I'm extremely new to researching methods and don't really understand a lot of the ideas on this site, I've looked at SN, CO poisoning and overdose. The first two require more research and ingredient gatherings which is difficult for me to wrap my head around but with time I think I can understand it. I can get my hands on fentanyl, SN, and I have a large collection of 400mg Seroquel (quetiapine) tablets, just one knocks me out pretty good and long and puts me in a deep sleep. I think CO poisoning is my current most prefered method and it's one I think I can access easily.
I've got some more research to do, but would knocking myself out with 800mg Seroquel before filling my tent with CO work? I like the idea of it slowly building up but I'm not sure if the Seroquel would keep me knocked out through the death throws, so are there additional or different meds I should take?
Thanks
I want to do it alone in nature, perhaps go on a camping trip somewhere remote. I want to see the sunset, pleiades one last time, and then end it in the night. I've looked at the methods and it's difficult deciding how. I want to be unconscious before any symptoms set in and I'd like it to be peaceful with little to no pain or suffering. But judging my the threads on here it's more complicated than I thought. My mom failed at this multiple times (overdose attempts) and I am deathly afraid of what happens if I fail so I want to be sure the first time succeeds.
I'm extremely new to researching methods and don't really understand a lot of the ideas on this site, I've looked at SN, CO poisoning and overdose. The first two require more research and ingredient gatherings which is difficult for me to wrap my head around but with time I think I can understand it. I can get my hands on fentanyl, SN, and I have a large collection of 400mg Seroquel (quetiapine) tablets, just one knocks me out pretty good and long and puts me in a deep sleep. I think CO poisoning is my current most prefered method and it's one I think I can access easily.
I've got some more research to do, but would knocking myself out with 800mg Seroquel before filling my tent with CO work? I like the idea of it slowly building up but I'm not sure if the Seroquel would keep me knocked out through the death throws, so are there additional or different meds I should take?
Thanks
