Discussion Finally getting stuff I need to ctb

[Red87]

Finally getting money together to do sn I go tomorrow to get anxiety meds from Dr buying sn Tuesday and tagment I don't know how to get other meds but hopefully in a week or too I'll have everything I need do you think I should up the dose on sn from 25 to 35 I'm pretty overweight and I want to make sure it works what do y'all think

 

[AbsoluteNothingness]

Im so fucking jealous of you... I wish i had something to kill myself with too. It fucking hurts to not have a way out. I just wasted another opportunity and the amount of regret im feeling is immense...
i have no idea what to use to ctb here and i cant fail at all. The last thing i want is screw it up and end up in a psych ward... I just have one oppportuniy to attempt, just one... All i find around the house is so unreliable and will just make me be in a worse state... This fucking hurts i wish this wasnt so fucking complex and hard. I just want to get out of here for fcks sake...I wish i could have sn too im so jealous...

Best of luck. I hope you find peace...

 

[Red87]

Thank you why can't you get sn I've tried multiple things two I tried partial hanging I didn't like it I tried pills they didn't work only thing could of worked was eye drops but I called the ambulance on myself because it gave me a headach that was unbearable but they told me if I would of waited a little longer I would of died my heart dropped to 25 I lost consciousness in the hospital but they kept giving meds to raise my heart beat Everytime I stood up my heart rate would go up to 180 and drop real fast I would almost pass out it sucks how close I was but they never sent me to a psych ward I talked them out of it thank God that's why I'm wondering if I need to up the sn dose because I do not want to fail and get admitted this time and I hope u find peace too