• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
A

ApotheosisOfJ

Here for a short time, not a good time
Aug 25, 2026
39
Hi All,

The time has finally come for me to find peace. I am planning out my last couple days to give my family some happy memories, then I will be getting a hotel room on Tuesday and will be CTB on Wednesday night, with the plan to be found on Thursday morning.

I would really appreciate any final bits of feedback on my protocol in case I missed anything, so I'll outline it all here:

Tuesday:
6amTake 10mg of Motilium (also known as Domperidone). (Note: All of the doses of Motilium will be in the melt form, not pill form)
2pmTake 10mg of Motilium
10pmTake 10mg of Motilium

Wednesday:
6amTake 10mg of Motilium
2pmTake 10mg of Motilium
2pmBegin fasting solid foods
8pmBegin fasting liquids
9pmDrink 1000mg of Paracetemol crushed up and dissolved in the minimum amount of water necessary
9:15pm3 X 10mg of Motilium (30mg in total)
Intermediate TimePrepare 3 solutions of SN. Each with 25g of SN fully dissolved in 50ml of water
9:55pmDrink 10mg of Clonazepam crushed up and dissolved in the minimum amount of water necessary
10pmWash mouth with strong mouth wash (spitting it out after) to dull taste buds
10pmDrink first (and hopefully last) solution of SN
Following TimeIf I throw up, immediately drink another SN solution until I pass out


I will have scheduled an email to the hotel reception informing them that there is a dead body in my room and to call emergency services for 10am.

I will also have scheduled an email to send to my boss and my therapist apologizing to them and making sure they understand that they weren't at fault at all.

Finally, I will also have scheduled an email to my mother and 2 sisters with my goodbye notes, as well as instructions on all my financial holdings and the passwords for anything that they might need.

Now, for a couple specific questions (but please feel free to leave any other feedback that comes to mind that doesn't directly relate to one of these questions):
  1. Is 10mg of Clonazepam too much to take? It's what I was able to get my hands on, and I'll definitely be careful not to accidentally fall asleep before drinking the SN, but just want to double check with people who may know more about benzos
  2. Is it right that I should be ingesting the Paracetemol and Clonazepam crushed up and dissolved into water instead of in pill form?
  3. I have seen mixed messages on whether it is a good idea to take an antacid as part of SN protocol, but the current prevailing opinion seems to be to avoid it if possible. Do people agree that it is best not to take an antacid?
  4. All going well, there should be at a minimum 12 hours between when I first ingest the first SN solution and when I am found. Do people think that is enough time to be sure of non-recovery?

I really appreciate any and all responses to this post, as this is basically the most important thing I will ever do in my life so want to make sure I've done it right.
 
P

pagalparinda

Member
Sep 5, 2026
60
10 mg of Clona is indeed too much. 5 min before CTB, i think 4-6 mg is enough if you don't have history of abusing it.
 
A

ApotheosisOfJ

Here for a short time, not a good time
Aug 25, 2026
39
10 mg of Clona is indeed too much. 5 min before CTB, i think 4-6 mg is enough if you don't have history of abusing it.
Ah ok good to know. From my understanding the Clonazepam is mainly to help mitigate my SI and reduce anxiety, so I might take some earlier in the day and then take 6mg just before.

At least that frees me up to take more over the next couple days and help make them a bit more bearable
 
P

pagalparinda

Member
Sep 5, 2026
60
no early dose should be taken. it is not needed. Where do u find this early dose of benzos? It is not antiemetic drugs which is needed to be taken beforehand.
 
A

ApotheosisOfJ

Here for a short time, not a good time
Aug 25, 2026
39
no early dose should be taken. it is not needed. Where do u find this early dose of benzos? It is not antiemetic drugs which is needed to be taken beforehand.
I would just take some beforehand to help with my anxiety and nervousness
 

Similar threads

P
Replies
12
Views
573
Suicide Discussion
pagalparinda
P
Z
Replies
0
Views
90
Suicide Discussion
zxc2609
Z
A
Replies
9
Views
952
Suicide Discussion
ApotheosisOfJ
A
chxse88
Replies
3
Views
253
Suicide Discussion
MatiSendiri
MatiSendiri