fellow sufferers with chronic pain

[Rolo]

Hey, I'm 53 and from the Netherlands.
Years ago I had a simple surgery but since then I have nervepain all over my body. Doctors prescribed me several medicins like Tramadol neurontin and amitriptyline. These did not work for me. Then I got Lyrica 150mg and it did not work at first but after 5 days or so it helped reducing my pain. Because of low b12 levels I also inject myself with B12 once a month. Unfortunately since several years the pain is getting worse and my dose is now at 300mg but I still have lots of periods that the pain is burning so much. The high dose lyrica makes it hard to focus so I have difficulty in doing my job as a independent webdesigner.

Doctors cannot find the cause of my pain and think it is between my ears.
It's difficult to live with pain and doctors not taking you seriously.

I have been searching for ways to end my life. For 8 years now I have all the equipment to use helium with exitbag. I'm still alive though because I cannot leave my dog. She would be devastated when I'm not here for her anymore. My dog is 16 years old now and when she dies I will go too.

In the meantime, after 8 years, I think my 3 heliumtanks are depleted. It's not safe to use a new heliumtank anymore ( oxygen added ) so now i'm thinking of replacing them with a nitrogen tank with flowmeter.

 

[Deleted member 1768]

Unfortunately i belong on this thread too. I think EVERYBODY with bad chronic pain thinks about suicide, wishes it would all just end, die in their sleep. Am i wrong?

No...I think you are right. Pain is the absolute worst thing that can happen to someone. It wears you down mightily. Physically, mentally...pain is all encompassing.

 

[Halo13]

No...I think you are right. Pain is the absolute worst thing that can happen to someone. It wears you down mightily. Physically, mentally...pain is all encompassing.

Absolutely true! Yesterday I wasn't as bad but still grit my teeth to bear it for the sake of functioning. Today I can barely get out of bed. Even being on medications for chronic pain doesn't make the all encompassing part better. Chronic pain is draining in every aspect of my life. Low quality to life? Try no quality!

 

[Deleted member 1768]

Absolutely true! Yesterday I wasn't as bad but still grit my teeth to bear it for the sake of functioning. Today I can barely get out of bed. Even being on medications for chronic pain doesn't make the all encompassing part better. Chronic pain is draining in every aspect of my life. Low quality to life? Try no quality!

Yep...sounds familiar. Sorry Halo. Severe chronic pain is something you cannot understand unless you suffer from it. Makes life pretty lonely. Keeping up with others...impossible.

 

[ExitTheDay]

Chronic migraines, I'm 24 years old and suffer with them almost every day of my life, the nausea that comes along with it is so bad all I can do is lay in a fetal position and shake in my bed all day because of it, the excedrins only work when they want to and it seems like marijuana is the only thing that numbs the pain and the nausea anymore... it's a fucking battle I'm done fighting

 

[lifeisbutadream]

"At times I think maybe it is possible to live with chronic pain if you can keep it from getting you depressed. Any thoughts?"

Well there's the trick huh!

 

[Deleted member 1768]

"At times I think maybe it is possible to live with chronic pain if you can keep it from getting you depressed. Any thoughts?"

Well there's the trick huh!

Cortisol levels go too high, and so that tends to cause depression...you are also constantly fighting your own body. What a betrayal that is.

Hi sorry to hear about your back, feel for you on that one.
As for is it possible to live with chronic pain if you don't already have depression then hell yeah you can, but you will need a few other things that not all of us have, like a supportive family/partner, hobbies that keep you entertained, a job that can allow you the flexibility you may need & probably most of all no previous history of depression.

I have lived with chronic pain for 26yrs, it has fingers crossed always been controlled to a reasonable extent & if it hadn't of been for the preexisting depression then i wouldn't be here, so yes you can live a happy life, i certainly have between the bouts of depression.
Good luck & don't hang around here too much if you can avoid it, sometimes the idea of 'escape' can become a self fulfilling prophecy if you focus on the possibility too much.

Can't always work with chronic pain. The pain generally comes in tandem with physical disabilities. No work, no money, no money, no medical help. Vicious cycle. I am one of those happy-go-lucky types. The only depression I ever had was related to grief, and there is no one left to grieve for...so...I am still not depressed, but I cannot tolerate the levels of isolation, poverty, etc. that come with the pain. Walking, carrying anything are very hard to do, and now that the vision is rapidly receding I really have little choice. Still have to clean, eat, pay bills...smile. It is okay. Merely my time to go.

 

[mathieu]

I had a really bad back for a couple of years and I started shooting heroin to numb the pain. It started getting better when I was prescribed buprenorphine patches (butrans, norspan) and of course doing physiotherapy exercises. I had been using codeine before that which wasn't much help. It now only hurts when I sit in a chair with poor back support or try to do something like vacuuming and I don't take the bupe anymore just some ibuprofen or heat rub occasionally.

 

[Deleted member 1768]

I had a really bad back for a couple of years and I started shooting heroin to numb the pain. It started getting better when I was prescribed buprenorphine patches (butrans, norspan) and of course doing physiotherapy exercises. I had been using codeine before that which wasn't much help. It now only hurts when I sit in a chair with poor back support or try to do something like vacuuming and I don't take the bupe anymore just some ibuprofen or heat rub occasionally.

Oh wow. That is wonderful Mathieu...congratulations. I am so glad to hear that you could get physiotherapy. Great believer in such treatment...smile.
Dropping down in the meds. is just as impressive. I was on the fentanyl patch, but yeuch it did not stay on long. Cannot take oxy./codeine, and although hydromorphone and I get along...it hits me super hard...so. I just live with it.
I know what you mean about the housework though. I cannot vaccuum, carry anything over a couple of pounds, or pull anything much heavier than 4 liters of milk, trouble taking the garbage out, and going anywhere I am unfamiliar with is terrifying. I walk with a white cane now, and crossing the streets still fills me with dread. C'est la vie.

 

[Letmego. Please]

Cortisol levels go too high, and so that tends to cause depression...you are also constantly fighting your own body. What a betrayal that is.

Can't always work with chronic pain. The pain generally comes in tandem with physical disabilities. No work, no money, no money, no medical help. Vicious cycle. I am one of those happy-go-lucky types. The only depression I ever had was related to grief, and there is no one left to grieve for...so...I am still not depressed, but I cannot tolerate the levels of isolation, poverty, etc. that come with the pain. Walking, carrying anything are very hard to do, and now that the vision is rapidly receding I really have little choice. Still have to clean, eat, pay bills...smile. It is okay. Merely my time to go.

I feel bad for living somewhere with a 'free' health service and at least some sort of government welfare help. I am angry/sad for the lack of help out there for you.

A lot of stuff here is now being done by charities rather than the government, do you have anything similar that might be able to say provide you with trained dog to help with going out? or one that can help you with the everyday stuff you find hard.

Sorry i don't know much about Canada

 

[Deleted member 1768]

Awww...thank you Let. That is most kind. I don't know much about Canada anymore either, although I grew up in this country. We used to have a wonderful health service. Not anymore. I am on disability, although not for the reasons mentioned. Cancer finished my ability to work...as for a dog....no, I could not do that to an animal. My pets have always been members of my family, and there is no one left to care for any wee beast after I go. Nor do I believe I will be on this earth long enough to worry too much about, well, anything...
There are a couple of groups who would help, but the bureaucracy is horrendous, and the wait time even worse. I do go to CNIB, (Canadian National Institute for the Blind) but it is rather difficult for me to get to, and I am a chicken going somewhere I am not familiar with...The costs are high for those in my position. I need; a new cane and tip, special gloves for cooking, a specialty magnifying glass, a bus pass (complete with photo), and on and on. The things just listed are the basics. What else I might need...who knows? In any event. It really is okay Let. Life happens, you accept and move on. I am just moving on a little differently from what I am used to...no worries. At least I have supplies that can be used if the method I like does not pan out, and if all else fails there is the dreaded H2S.

 

[Letmego. Please]

Dam, i hate reading that, but at the same time i understand where you are coming from, I've always accepted, adapted & moved on from the changes life gives us, but you do get to a point where trying again seems pointless in the grand scheme of things, so yeah like you i will just be moving on in a different way.

You have my upmost respect.

 

[Seekingpeacenow]

I have Addison's disease. CFIDS. Interstitial cystitis. Fibro and a host of other illnesses some they never quite figured out. I finally stopped going to the doctor many years ago. I am always in a state of chronic pain but I learned to deal with it except on days when it's torturously bad and I can barely move. I have done far better self treating that I ever did being treated by the doctors but I hardly leave my home. No family or friends. I managed to run an online shop for years but it never really made an "income" after expenses so now there is no income at all. Part of the reason aside from the daily pain that things are now dire. I continue to seek online employment though I have found nothing. I cannot work an outside job. Many days are bed or couch ridden.

I do not take any drugs. They may help temporarily but the side effects and addictions make everything worse. I've watched them destroy my whole family. I found the most relief with alternative therapies. I've heard a lot of positive stories from those who use cbd. It did help for me but made me very very very depressed and exhaustedand irritated by everything. I tried a few kinds with varying similar reactions. Apparently that is a very abnormal reaction but does happen. I never had that happen when I smoked when I was younger. Not sure the difference but it's a worth a try. Many companies offer big discounts for vets, the elderly and those with financial issues.

I got sick when I was around 19 mostly due to severe physical and emotional abuse and injury. My mother also had similar so perhaps some genetic too. I am now in my 40s. Hell on this earth has seemed forever.

 

[Deleted member 1768]

Dam, i hate reading that, but at the same time i understand where you are coming from, I've always accepted, adapted & moved on from the changes life gives us, but you do get to a point where trying again seems pointless in the grand scheme of things, so yeah like you i will just be moving on in a different way.

You have my upmost respect.

Thank you Let...very much.

 

[Bruceleelives1969]

Pain from Neuropathy
it burns really bad. NerveDamage from diabetes in the hands and feet.

 

[Deleted member 1768]

Pain from Neuropathy
it burns really bad. NerveDamage from diabetes in the hands and feet.

Sounds like primary diabetes. I am so sorry Bruce...can you still walk, and lift/carry things? Nothing on earth is worse than chronic, severe pain...nothing. There is a thread re. sufferers of chronic pain. Have you checked it out? You are not alone...