fellow sufferers with chronic pain

[Thewhowithin69]

Thus is where I'm to be then....I haven't written out my story and am a new member of ss. I was also hoping to connect with some of the older population (no offense to the young ones).
I am 49yrs old. I was diagnosed with bipolar/severe depression/cptsd and did in my early 20's (each diagnosis came at a different time over those yaars) and followed every medical treatment that was available even doing 17 ect treatments. I tried suicide first when I was 12 and then a few other times over the years. I reached a place of manageablity until my health took a turn after back fusion surgery 2014. A tumor grew and then the pain was continual. Spent 4 years in bed and snowed out of my gourd on escalating opiods until managed on methadone. Of course I'm kicking myself for getting rid of all the methadone I saved up when I weaned myself off....I have only had kratom for pain the past few years and even though I made it out of bed and got somewhat healthier (changed diet and lifestyle due to autoimmune disease) and saw surprising good effects. But I was recently diagnosed with fibro and my depression has been so bad recently that I know I cannot survive thisong term. I want to apply for euthenasia because I think with my medical records I would be approved. I want the legitimacy of being given the green light and I want to be able to say goodbye to my daughter (who is 22).
But ya that never ending pain is a mindfuck for sure....and the depression (I have lived with both now) is definitely a darker heavier thing. I'm angry because I have fought my whole life to survive the horror of my childhood abuse and giving up/in WTH suicide made me feel like they won. Now I don't care. I'm proud I lasted as long as I have but noone has a right to judge my suffering and then tell me I shoulnt be allowed to die with some damn dignity.
Anyways glad to find ya all but hate that it was here.....

 

[barclay]

With fibromyalgia you could try a combination with LDN (low-dose naltrexone) and CBD oil:


LDN:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5489802/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3962576/


CBD:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5576607/


Also palmitoylethanolamide could be useful, but I went really depressive with it.


And yes, it's absolutely unbearable that there is no possibility of euthenasia in most countries.

BTW. I live in germany but unfortunately I'm not jewish. :/

 

[TheCrow]

Methadone hits hard man. People die from 40mg. Just get 500mg. Its recommended by an anesthesiologist. I'm just saying your gonna be disappointed because they are probably selling a fent analogue which isnt nearly as strong as fentanyl. I've been in this game awhile man.

I wonder if suboxone (buprenorphine) works similarly in terms of how lethal it is.

 

[Final Escape]

I'm 25 and am in horrendous pain. I'm willing to bet there's a gene in my family that causes our fibrocartilage to deteriorate early, since my cousin is dealing with the same issues, and he's only 20. I used to be very active when I was younger and wasn't in any significant pain, although I did have the occasional clicking and popping here and there which I just brushed off as normal, and I started having lower back/disc issues at just 17.

Well then I attempted to become a US Navy SEAL when I was around 19-20, and pushed my body harder than ever before and got in phenomenal shape. However, it turns out that I absolutely shredded my labrum in each shoulder (and most likely hips as well — just never had an MRI done), and also really messed up the cartilage in my AC and SC joints (clavicular joints) from lifting so much. Also, my lower back is absolute trash now. I suffer from severe degenerative disc disease and herniated discs, which is just excruciating on a daily basis now. Anyway, I had two shoulder surgeries in 2014 on my right shoulder in attempt to reattach my labrum, but the surgeries have left me even worse off, and I know I messed up the whole repair from the anxiety of it not feeling right and "testing" it too soon. So right now to this day, my right shoulder is still completely bone on bone, just grinding all the time and it is just agonizing torture. I've worked several jobs with it for the last 3-4 years, and just learned how to "live" with it and ignore it I guess.

Well fast forward to now, after already suffering for the last 5 years, it seems as if every other joint has followed suit, and there is arguably not a single joint left in my body that isn't cracking/popping/grinding in pain. My shoulders, elbows, wrists, hips, knees, and ankles are just garbage now. It's to the point where I can't even stand for longer than 20 minutes, because my spine, hips, and entire pelvis start to get extremely sore. I can't wait to aquire my highly potent heaven sent Fentanyl and take a little too much, if you know what I mean...

Omg! I'm so sorry, that is truly horrific :(" when you described the pain I felt it through the description. Yea for me it's psychic pain that is extreme levels, but my body has held up well. No phsyical pain for me just severe emotional. I'm a cripple emotionally.

 

[lifeisbutadream]

Omg! I'm so sorry, that is truly horrific :(" when you described the pain I felt it through the description. Yea for me it's psychic pain that is extreme levels, but my body has held up well. No phsyical pain for me just severe emotional. I'm a cripple emotionally.

I'm 25 and am in horrendous pain. I'm willing to bet there's a gene in my family that causes our fibrocartilage to deteriorate early, since my cousin is dealing with the same issues, and he's only 20. I used to be very active when I was younger and wasn't in any significant pain, although I did have the occasional clicking and popping here and there which I just brushed off as normal, and I started having lower back/disc issues at just 17.

Well then I attempted to become a US Navy SEAL when I was around 19-20, and pushed my body harder than ever before and got in phenomenal shape. However, it turns out that I absolutely shredded my labrum in each shoulder (and most likely hips as well — just never had an MRI done), and also really messed up the cartilage in my AC and SC joints (clavicular joints) from lifting so much. Also, my lower back is absolute trash now. I suffer from severe degenerative disc disease and herniated discs, which is just excruciating on a daily basis now. Anyway, I had two shoulder surgeries in 2014 on my right shoulder in attempt to reattach my labrum, but the surgeries have left me even worse off, and I know I messed up the whole repair from the anxiety of it not feeling right and "testing" it too soon. So right now to this day, my right shoulder is still completely bone on bone, just grinding all the time and it is just agonizing torture. I've worked several jobs with it for the last 3-4 years, and just learned how to "live" with it and ignore it I guess.

Well fast forward to now, after already suffering for the last 5 years, it seems as if every other joint has followed suit, and there is arguably not a single joint left in my body that isn't cracking/popping/grinding in pain. My shoulders, elbows, wrists, hips, knees, and ankles are just garbage now. It's to the point where I can't even stand for longer than 20 minutes, because my spine, hips, and entire pelvis start to get extremely sore. I can't wait to aquire my highly potent heaven sent Fentanyl and take a little too much, if you know what I mean...

:(

 

[Duqu]

I am almost 31 and have had chronic pain since I was a teen. I turns out I have RA, Lupus, and a rare genetic condition called "Ehler's Danlos Syndrome" that causes me to frequently dislocate things and need lots of surgeries (that I rarely heal well from due to the same condition). I take morphine IR and dilaudid IR daily and am terrified these new "crackdowns" on opioids in the US will take away my meds. There will be no hesitation then; without my meds I am dead. It puts a small dent in the pain levels when I need them (which is approximately 80% of the time; I take a half dose on the days I don't need it to avoid withdrawal) and makes me able to function. I'm on SSI obviously in the US; Seattle to be specific. It's a big enough city that I don't mind sharing that. I am a part-time wheelchair user, the rest of the time forearm crutches. I have tried EVERYTHING and if one more person tells me to try losing weight (I already have an eating disorder and this does NOT help) or yoga or a special diet, or PT I will seriously erupt.

 

[IRIYAMA]

Dear SS, I call out to fellow chronic pain sufferers. Where are you and where do you reside? Tell me your tale. What brought you here, how long have you suffered, what is your age? What do you live by, how do you continue from day to day?

I know there aren't any quick fixes in life, but as of this, let's at least get a discussion going and learn from one another.

I am basically calling out to the older crowd here, 25... onwards.

Older people usually have a matured view of life( no offence to you teenagers and younger men and women out there), I just particularly want to strike the iron of chatting with mature people whom I can learn from who goes through the same thing I did.

At the age of 41 become ill in '13, from an unknown cause after local flooding. Wasn't diagnosed until '14 after seeing dozens of GP's, specialists and professors of cardiac and neurology. Found out there no reasonable treatment options only pain management and no prognosis. Was diagnosed with POTS and CRPS.
Coming up the 6th "anniversary" of a different life, one filled with pain and countless symptoms. Have had almost no support from family, my ex left me in '14 she didn't want to deal with my issues which overshadowed her own.
It's been a big toll emotionally bringing on deep depression and suicidal ideation, medications don't work some of the time unless I take more than recommended to ease the pain.
Decided CTB was a good option and have failed a few attempts until successfully importing N.
Life is crap, trying to survive l. Quit working two years ago and only recently started working again in a labour intensive job that flares up even more symptoms.
Anyway, probably bored everyone to death will stop here..

 

[TheCrow]

At the age of 41 become ill in '13, from an unknown cause after local flooding. Wasn't diagnosed until '14 after seeing dozens of GP's, specialists and professors of cardiac and neurology. Found out there no reasonable treatment options only pain management and no prognosis. Was diagnosed with POTS and CRPS.
Coming up the 6th "anniversary" of a different life, one filled with pain and countless symptoms. Have had almost no support from family, my ex left me in '14 she didn't want to deal with my issues which overshadowed her own.
It's been a big toll emotionally bringing on deep depression and suicidal ideation, medications don't work some of the time unless I take more than recommended to ease the pain.
Decided CTB was a good option and have failed a few attempts until successfully importing N.
Life is crap, trying to survive l. Quit working two years ago and only recently started working again in a labour intensive job that flares up even more symptoms.
Anyway, probably bored everyone to death will stop here..

I have CRPS, too! I've never known anyone who has it too. Where do you have it? It's so fucking weird and awful and I'd never heard of it prior to my injury.

 

[IRIYAMA]

I have CRPS, too! I've never known anyone who has it too. Where do you have it? It's so fucking weird and awful and I'd never heard of it prior to my injury.

It's mostly limited to the legs, combined with the peripheral neuropathy makes mobility a real issue..also get it with the palpitations/chest pain (lasts for days usually)
If I may ask, what sort of injury do you have??

 

[TheCrow]

It's mostly limited to the legs, combined with the peripheral neuropathy makes mobility a real issue..also get it with the palpitations/chest pain (lasts for days usually)
If I may ask, what sort of injury do you have??

Oh, man. I'm so sorry. You have it in both legs?! Fuck. What are you doing to treat the pain? I sprained my ankle and also nodded out & cut off circulation to my foot.

 

[IRIYAMA]

Oh, man. I'm so sorry. You have it in both legs?! Fuck. What are you doing to treat the pain? I sprained my ankle and also nodded out & cut off circulation to my foot.

It stems from Autonomic failure and neuropathy.
Living on nerve pain meds (Lyrica), narcotics (Endone), metocloporamide and Valium.
A few years back I was on 50+ tablets a day to function but after having deep depressions and a medication review average about 15 tablets s day now. Still a shitty existence..

 

[iHeartRockArt]

I am almost 31 and have had chronic pain since I was a teen. I turns out I have RA, Lupus, and a rare genetic condition called "Ehler's Danlos Syndrome" that causes me to frequently dislocate things and need lots of surgeries (that I rarely heal well from due to the same condition). I take morphine IR and dilaudid IR daily and am terrified these new "crackdowns" on opioids in the US will take away my meds. There will be no hesitation then; without my meds I am dead. It puts a small dent in the pain levels when I need them (which is approximately 80% of the time; I take a half dose on the days I don't need it to avoid withdrawal) and makes me able to function. I'm on SSI obviously in the US; Seattle to be specific. It's a big enough city that I don't mind sharing that. I am a part-time wheelchair user, the rest of the time forearm crutches. I have tried EVERYTHING and if one more person tells me to try losing weight (I already have an eating disorder and this does NOT help) or yoga or a special diet, or PT I will seriously erupt.

Omg, this brought me to tears because I have a rare condition and illnesses too. . Many people with my condition have EDS as well and even though I have not been diagnosed with it, I feel like I may have it too. I am so sorry you're in such pain. Doesn't it get old trying to explain yourself to doctors who won't listen, and having them tell you it's a weight problem? I feel your pain. And this opioid epidemic is scary. For those like us that rely on them to live, we will be the ones punished for it.

 

[TheCrow]

It stems from Autonomic failure and neuropathy.
Living on nerve pain meds (Lyrica), narcotics (Endone), metocloporamide and Valium.
A few years back I was on 50+ tablets a day to function but after having deep depressions and a medication review average about 15 tablets s day now. Still a shitty existence..

Geez, I'm sorry to hear that. I feel
so bad for you. The pain I felt before I got on a nerve blocker was the only thing that matched passing a kidney stone. I am jealous of some of the meds you're prescribed, though. God, I wish my doctor wasn't such a hard ass.

 

[Kyrok]

I'm in my 50s with scoliosis, the pain bad enough I can't sit at a desk any longer.
I'm in too much pain to write the book I have under contract and don't see how I'm going to make it to retirement.
I can still continue at work even if I drop the book, but it would trash my status and future opportunities.

I cut 90% of my pain meds a couple years back and just can't tolerate the pain. Can't even sit for dinner lately.

 

[lululoo]

I am 35 and have had chronic pain since I was 22. It started in just one location, got worse and worse over the years, then I had a surgery for it when I was 27, and then developed fibromyalgia. It all gets worse as the years go by. I have the original pain plus pain in my head and my knees 24/7. Other parts of my body it's more intermittent. I also have IBS and just feel sick/hungover/exhausted all the time.

I guess I have it better than many people with pain, given that I am able to work (I suck at it and it might not last long, but I do work full time), I can exercise (have to force myself through the pain and fatigue and depression... don't always succeed), I can keep up with daily tasks. But apparently I have low resiliency because for me it's all bad enough that I want to die. It causes me such misery and I absolutely can't handle this life of pain alone. I have felt alone all my life, and now I really am alone as all my friends have paired off, my family continues to be unhelpful and emotionally abusing, and I have no partner. I just can't do this.

No treatments help me. I have tried everything. I'm so sensitive to meds now that I just don't want to mess with them any more.

I would be so proud of myself if I could figure out how to kill myself. It's like I've lost the ability to be competent at anything. I just want to be taken care of and it feels like that's the least I could ask given all my suffering over the years. I wish someone could help me CBT. But I gotta do it alone.

 

[Kyrok]

I am 35 and have had chronic pain since I was 22. It started in just one location, got worse and worse over the years, then I had a surgery for it when I was 27, and then developed fibromyalgia. It all gets worse as the years go by. I have the original pain plus pain in my head and my knees 24/7. Other parts of my body it's more intermittent. I also have IBS and just feel sick/hungover/exhausted all the time.

Lululoo, I'm curious whether you're in a place where marijuana is legal. It is known to be effective for both fibro & IBS.
Personally, I don't find it helpful unless I get quite high, something I do not enjoy. But I know a good number of people for whom MJ has been life changing.

 

[lululoo]

Lululoo, I'm curious whether you're in a place where marijuana is legal. It is known to be effective for both fibro & IBS.
Personally, I don't find it helpful unless I get quite high, something I do not enjoy. But I know a good number of people for whom MJ has been life changing.

There is medical marijuana in my state and I had a card for a time but unfortunately it doesn't help my pain. Neither thc or cbd. Thank you though for the suggestion.

 

[Kyrok]

There is medical marijuana in my state and I had a card for a time but unfortunately it doesn't help my pain. Neither thc or cbd. Thank you though for the suggestion.

No problem. I know all too well the emotional exhaustion of chronic pain. I've been dealing with it for about 15yrs.

 

[sadak_the_wanderer]

Without going into too many specifics (it's a rare enough illness that I would prefer to be vague), I began to experience inexplicable pain, quite severe, in my teens. I managed to confirm the diagnosis I had suspected at age seventeen by the time I was twenty. It is a condition that progressively gets worse and isn't particularly treatable, except for drugging someone into a stupor. I would say that I spend more days in pain than not now, some of it quite intense.

It isn't the sole reason for wanting to end my life but I wouldn't call it slight, either.

 

[AE496]

Hi all. I had a spine injury 14 years ago and developed chronic lower back pain, which is a b*tch. 8 years ago it got worse and I had to have surgery. A few months ago it got really really bad, like rather-die bad. I am 36 now and there is no logical expectation that this will ever get better. Its a shame, because my life would be pretty great otherwise. But severe unrelenting pain is the perfect recipe for depression. I am thinking of cutting my losses before my condition makes me mentally ill. At times I think maybe it is possible to live with chronic pain if you can keep it from getting you depressed. Any thoughts?

 

[lululoo]

Hi all. I had a spine injury 14 years ago and developed chronic lower back pain, which is a b*tch. 8 years ago it got worse and I had to have surgery. A few months ago it got really really bad, like rather-die bad. I am 36 now and there is no logical expectation that this will ever get better. Its a shame, because my life would be pretty great otherwise. But severe unrelenting pain is the perfect recipe for depression. I am thinking of cutting my losses before my condition makes me mentally ill. At times I think maybe it is possible to live with chronic pain if you can keep it from getting you depressed. Any thoughts?

There's probably a certain level where it's impossible to live with no matter your mental attitude or life circumstances. And then other levels where it depends.
For me, being depressed, alone, bitter, and with the entirely wrong attitude, there's no way for me to cope with my pain and find life worth living.

 

[AE496]

There's probably a certain level where it's impossible to live with no matter your mental attitude or life circumstances. And then other levels where it depends.
For me, being depressed, alone, bitter, and with the entirely wrong attitude, there's no way for me to cope with my pain and find life worth living.

There is certainly a lot of people out there who continue to live with chronic pain, some have good lives (like Vidyamala Burch) and others have miserable lives. Then there are people who just have to cut their losses (like Sarah Kershaw). I believe there is a line where pain is just too much and you have to ctb, otherwise you are no good to yourself or anyone around you.

 

[JadedGray]

I have been dealing with chronic pain since I was 13. I'm now 28 and have wasted my life, lying in bed because of it. I know it won't get any better and I don't see the point in going on, living a life of pain and misery. It's just another problem that fuels my desire to end this life and suffering.

 

[AE496]

I have been dealing with chronic pain since I was 13. I'm now 28 and have wasted my life, lying in bed because of it. I know it won't get any better and I don't see the point in going on, living a life of pain and misery. It's just another problem that fuels my desire to end this life and suffering.

I hear you. It's tough to live in pain all the time. I really drains your will to live. I hope things work out for you!

 

[JadedGray]

I hear you. It's tough to live in pain all the time. I really drains your will to live. I hope things work out for you!

I agree.

Thanks, I hope the same for you. :)

 

[Kta1994]

im 24 and my life has been awful for 2 years i have chronic mid and upper back pain after standing for a few minutes, i have ulcer gastritis which gives sometimes chest pain and abdominal pain and lpr reflux, and for a few months some weird pruritus that makes my whole body itch and also pain beside the headache im having for 2 weeks now, i really dont know what to do and im not taking any pain medication now bc my doctors would laugh at me id i ask them for an opioid

 

[Kyrok]

@AE496 , I'm 53 and have been dealing with chronic pain for about 15yrs. I'm on various meds, including oxycodone. On a good day, I can have a few hours with minimal pain, on a bad day I'm struggling to get below a 7/10. I'm in bed from late afternoon onwards and recently had to change jobs due to my pain.

It is terribly demoralizing that I can't write any longer (I have approaching 100 publications of various sorts), but I can still do my consulting as well as new administrative work.

Some days I think about killing myself because of the pain, while other days can be better.

Can you still work? Do you have family?

 

[Letmego. Please]

Hi all. I had a spine injury 14 years ago and developed chronic lower back pain, which is a b*tch. 8 years ago it got worse and I had to have surgery. A few months ago it got really really bad, like rather-die bad. I am 36 now and there is no logical expectation that this will ever get better. Its a shame, because my life would be pretty great otherwise. But severe unrelenting pain is the perfect recipe for depression. I am thinking of cutting my losses before my condition makes me mentally ill. At times I think maybe it is possible to live with chronic pain if you can keep it from getting you depressed. Any thoughts?

Hi sorry to hear about your back, feel for you on that one.
As for is it possible to live with chronic pain if you don't already have depression then hell yeah you can, but you will need a few other things that not all of us have, like a supportive family/partner, hobbies that keep you entertained, a job that can allow you the flexibility you may need & probably most of all no previous history of depression.

I have lived with chronic pain for 26yrs, it has fingers crossed always been controlled to a reasonable extent & if it hadn't of been for the preexisting depression then i wouldn't be here, so yes you can live a happy life, i certainly have between the bouts of depression.
Good luck & don't hang around here too much if you can avoid it, sometimes the idea of 'escape' can become a self fulfilling prophecy if you focus on the possibility too much.

 

[barclay]

Did anyone heard of Low Dose Naltroxone an tried it?

 

[lululoo]

Did anyone heard of Low Dose Naltroxone an tried it?

Yes, I tried that. Didn't help me.