Venting feels like i'm drowning in life

[crimsonsflower]

sometimes i wish life would slow down if even for a moment.

i'm sure a lot of people here could relate to how overwhelming life is and how little there is in terms of support for those who feel like they can't quite catch up. to me, ctb has felt like nothing more than an inevitability since i was about sixteen years old. having to dredge myself up from literally nothing in a world that seems like is collapsing at a rapid rate, i can't say i quite know what to do with myself anymore even though i am constantly feigning a sense of resolve to those around me. even still, it is apparent i continue to struggle. every time things look like they're getting better, i am knocked down a few pegs and it only ever seems to confirm to me that ctb would be my only option. i find myself in this cycle of being so close to getting it done with just to end up backing out when i can almost feel it. my resolve is strong but my anxiety is frankly so intense that it manages to keep me from it every single time. i am just so tired.

i just needed to get this out there i am so incredibly frustrated with myself.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel so tired, I'm sorry you've had to suffer, it's so cruel and dreadful to me how existing can easily get worse. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[simplesimon93]

I really know how you feel but I hope that you can work things out. It can be s moment or a day where life gets better. Sadly the world often is a mean and cruel place. There is help available and other options available. You can only ctb once.