Feeling weird, can't decide to rope or not.

[FadingDawn]

Literally feel both desirous of suicide, and simply to tired and too fed up to actually attempt it again. I've got the opportunity today to partial-suspension myself... and part of me wants to simply take it and get it over with; on the other side, though, i feel just resigned to this miserable life, and I'm not in one my worse-off mental episodes of psychological misery where i actively want to kym... idk dude

 

[Jiyuurakka]

That state of confusion on what to do is the worst, you're at that perfect state of mind where no matter what you do, whether or not you attempt, either way you feel like you're doing it half-assed. It feels like nothing is genuine, not even your own feelings and thoughts are genuine. So why even do anything? Whenever I feel like this, I like feel my 'self' does not belong to this body and I feel like a dead corpse walking around, just going through the motions, and people. I've always thought that doubt and confusion were some of the most painful feelings to experience, almost all the time I just sit or sleep through it. I hope you'll be able to find peace of mind eventually, no matter what.