Venting feeling relieved that i can finally ctb

[schatzbunny]

i am going to end it soon. i have made up my mind. i feel relieved. i have not felt this way in years but it finally feels like i have hope for my suffering to end. i've been lurking on this site for a while and finally decided to make an account, might as well have some part of me left online before im gone. it hurts to know that a year ago i maybe would not have considered this as my only option, but i tried. i tried so hard. i cant anymore. i am not enough for the man i love and i am not enough to survive this. haven't worked out the details yet but i plan on jumping from the 17th floor of an apartment building. other painless or less extreme methods aren't available and i am too afraid of hanging. with jumping i feel like i can get drunk and just go for it. i plan on writing letters for people i want to leave an explanation for. i'll decorate my room and make it look full of life. full of me. so when my parents see it they can feel part of me there. im writing a journal full of information about me,what i like, what i dont like, my hobbies, who i am... i want someone to read it so at least in death i could be understood. i hope my lover (well ex bf) reads it. ill put all my letters and journals in my bag and leave it at the balcony i'll jump from. thinking and daydreaming about it is the only thing giving me peace.

 

[unluckysadness]

I'm so sorry for you suffering Feel free to express youself here. People are very lovely and full of compassion.
I wish you peace wathever you decide

 

[AstralMadness]

i am going to end it soon. i have made up my mind. i feel relieved. i have not felt this way in years but it finally feels like i have hope for my suffering to end. i've been lurking on this site for a while and finally decided to make an account, might as well have some part of me left online before im gone. it hurts to know that a year ago i maybe would not have considered this as my only option, but i tried. i tried so hard. i cant anymore. i am not enough for the man i love and i am not enough to survive this. haven't worked out the details yet but i plan on jumping from the 17th floor of an apartment building. other painless or less extreme methods aren't available and i am too afraid of hanging. with jumping i feel like i can get drunk and just go for it. i plan on writing letters for people i want to leave an explanation for. i'll decorate my room and make it look full of life. full of me. so when my parents see it they can feel part of me there. im writing a journal full of information about me,what i like, what i dont like, my hobbies, who i am... i want someone to read it so at least in death i could be understood. i hope my lover (well ex bf) reads it. ill put all my letters and journals in my bag and leave it at the balcony i'll jump from. thinking and daydreaming about it is the only thing giving me peace.

i'm sorry for your pain, i feel you and am in a similar situation. i hope you may find your peace and can stay safe, i'm glad you're finally feeling more relief
also nice CSM pfp

 

[schatzbunny]

I'm so sorry for you suffering Feel free to express youself here. People are very lovely and full of compassion.
I wish you peace wathever you decide

thank you i wish you peace too

i'm sorry for your pain, i feel you and am in a similar situation. i hope you may find your peace and can stay safe, i'm glad you're finally feeling more relief
also nice CSM pfp

thank you (i really relate to asa xd)
i hope you also find relief or peace somehow in your journey

 

[OzymandiAsh]

Jumping is something I've considered but I'm going to at least give ligature strangulation a go first, as it leaves my body intact which my family will probably appreciate, and also means my organs can be donated. :)

I hope you find peace and relief. Take care.

 

[schatzbunny]

Jumping is something I've considered but I'm going to at least give ligature strangulation a go first, as it leaves my body intact which my family will probably appreciate, and also means my organs can be donated. :)

I hope you find peace and relief. Take care.

i wish you the same.