Feeling really lost right now

[terra.nuvo]

I've just been feeling really lost for the past couple of days. I've just been sitting at home studying to go back to school but that feels like a cop out to not work. My therapist says I should take this time to work on bettering myself and my mental health but I don't even know what that means anymore. I've been trying to better myself for years now but nothing has worked. I feel like I've learned everything there is to know about DBT and CBT and all the damn behavioral health theories but I haven't gotten any better. Am I just a lost cause? That's how it feels most of the time. I just feel so worthless and useless.

My mom said today that she wished she lived alone and I know she didn't mean it as a sleight towards me but it still hurt. It made me realize that while she puts on the facade of being unphased and ok with my situation she isn't. It's times like these where I should get the motivation to be better and do better and get a job or something but no. Instead it makes me feel more down and more worthless. And if I'm being honest it takes me back to the CTB solution. But I know I have to stay on this recovery journey so I start feeling even worse because if I know I want to be better why can't I just do it. It's all just so frustrating.

 

[Alltheywanted]

Hey, sorry to hear that
From what you just said, I think you might be like me. Long story short, I always wanted to feel better, but I never could because for most of the time I've been mentally ill (which was probably since I was 14), I didn't have any therapy or medication. It wasn't until last year that I received any help. All this time I was alone and in pain.
About a month ago I realized that after these horrible +/- 4 years I've started to find comfort in suffering (sort of like those annoying teenagers romanticizing mental illness on tiktok lol) and it's very hard to get out of my comfort zone that was with you the lion's share of your life.
I'm still trying to get better and it seems to be working, but very slowly. It was just a month ago that I made my second attempt after all.
Just consider my words and gl with life ;3

 

[Dingusguy]

Trying to be a better you is hard and sometimes even scary, I have tried for a long time to improve my mental health and I have had ups and downs, currently on a down unfortunately. Anyway sometimes working towards bettering yourself means just being yourself for the moment until you feel you are ready to do something to change or improve.

It doesn't have to be a big thing, you can start small, I mean REALLY small if necessary. I used to have so little drive I couldn't even be fucked to do my bed in the morning. But then I decided to force myself to do that every day, it's not impressive or big, but it was enough to teach me that if I can make myself do something once I can do it again. And using that principle I improved a lot of things about myself, I relapse but I think everyone does. It's just important to get back up when you get knocked down. Failing only means you have the chance to learn from the experience and then try again with improved information.

I hope anything in this little ramble can be of use to you

 

[terra.nuvo]

Hey, sorry to hear that
From what you just said, I think you might be like me. Long story short, I always wanted to feel better, but I never could because for most of the time I've been mentally ill (which was probably since I was 14), I didn't have any therapy or medication. It wasn't until last year that I received any help. All this time I was alone and in pain.
About a month ago I realized that after these horrible +/- 4 years I've started to find comfort in suffering (sort of like those annoying teenagers romanticizing mental illness on tiktok lol) and it's very hard to get out of my comfort zone that was with you the lion's share of your life.
I'm still trying to get better and it seems to be working, but very slowly. It was just a month ago that I made my second attempt after all.
Just consider my words and gl with life ;3

I think you put to words perfectly how I feel right now about finding comfort in the suffering. It's a weird feeling but I've also been mentally ill since I was fourteen and i've learned that it's just a part of me now. It feels a little like learned helplessness in a way for me. Sending good vibes your way. I appreciate your words.

Trying to be a better you is hard and sometimes even scary, I have tried for a long time to improve my mental health and I have had ups and downs, currently on a down unfortunately. Anyway sometimes working towards bettering yourself means just being yourself for the moment until you feel you are ready to do something to change or improve.

It doesn't have to be a big thing, you can start small, I mean REALLY small if necessary. I used to have so little drive I couldn't even be fucked to do my bed in the morning. But then I decided to force myself to do that every day, it's not impressive or big, but it was enough to teach me that if I can make myself do something once I can do it again. And using that principle I improved a lot of things about myself, I relapse but I think everyone does. It's just important to get back up when you get knocked down. Failing only means you have the chance to learn from the experience and then try again with improved information.

I hope anything in this little ramble can be of use to you

Thank you, your advice is helpful. I feel like I've made being better such a big an unattainable task that I forgot it starts with small steps, so when I don't make the giant leaps I set out for myself I feel more down. So yeah this is definitely advice I need to put into practice.

 

[Dingusguy]

Thank you, your advice is helpful. I feel like I've made being better such a big an unattainable task that I forgot it starts with small steps, so when I don't make the giant leaps I set out for myself I feel more down. So yeah this is definitely advice I need to put into practice.

Glad I could help at least a little :)

 

[Linda]

I've just been feeling really lost for the past couple of days. I've just been sitting at home studying to go back to school but that feels like a cop out to not work. My therapist says I should take this time to work on bettering myself and my mental health but I don't even know what that means anymore. I've been trying to better myself for years now but nothing has worked. I feel like I've learned everything there is to know about DBT and CBT and all the damn behavioral health theories but I haven't gotten any better. Am I just a lost cause? That's how it feels most of the time. I just feel so worthless and useless.

Have you told your therapist what you just posted? Perhaps you should.
Has your therapist told you how to go about "bettering yourself"? What do they even mean by that?

 

[eaturdirt]

so proud of you that you're still focused on your recovery even though it's really hard!

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I've been feeling lost for the last decade

 

[terra.nuvo]

Have you told your therapist what you just posted? Perhaps you should.
Has your therapist told you how to go about "bettering yourself"? What do they even mean by that?

So far she hasn't really gone into detail about how to better myself but I'll be asking about it in my next session. I guess I haven't really expressed that I didn't understand what she meant by it so it might be helpful if I bring it up.

 

[Linda]

So far she hasn't really gone into detail about how to better myself but I'll be asking about it in my next session. I guess I haven't really expressed that I didn't understand what she meant by it so it might be helpful if I bring it up.

Remember that therapists aren't psychic. They won't know what is going on in your head unless you tell them. If what they are saying to you is no help, or too confusing to be helpful, they won't know that either unless you tell them. You have to help your therapist a bit if you want your therapist to be able to help you. Don't be shy about opening your mouth.