Feeling better and than worse again

[depthss]

I wanted to kill myself more than anything, I met someone that made me feel better. I tried to improve everything for him. I both didn't want to hurt him by killing myself and for the first time in my life, I actually wanted to be alive. I've never really felt like I truly enjoyed life or like there was anything worth keeping me here, but he changed that for me. I tried to push back on my suicidiality and change my bad habits and behaviours for him. He said, in one area in particular, that I'd gotten better. He was also happy with a bad habit I changed. But now, it seems like he's lost all interest in me. I know he's more introverted than I am, but I feel like this goes beyond that. I just feel like we talk less and less as time goes on. I feel like he doesn't like me anymore.

I feel like going right back to square one. I never wanted to live or have a good life for myself. I just liked him so much, that I wanted to turn things around. But I have no need nor desire to anymore. I want to die

 

[Doll Steak]

I have an entirely different situation than you but I know that feeling, teeter-tottering between wanting to live and die, for me usually only hours in between. Ill go from being ambitious about my own future and my hobbies and things I create to feeling apathetic and giving up. Its very, very irritating. I can't seem to find any way to control these sudden shifts in mindset. I hope you find some sort of solace in all of this, truly.

 

[ChainedCrow]

Im not a relationship expert by any means but just be upfront with him. Did he lost feelings or if something else is happening and push for a truthfull answer going to safe u from alot of pain later on. Maybe love is the thing that can help u recover wanting to become better for someone else is generally a bad idea but its always something. Give yourself time to about the relationship and what u want to do going forward. Much love and good luck with whatever u decide later on