I feel muted. I can't say what's on my mind and my mind is screaming. I don't want to leave my son, leave my husband. But I betrayed them and its only right they don't want me anymore. My son does, but ny husband's blocked me out. I hurt him so much. I was stupid and senseless. Why God did I wreck my own life and identity? I feel like I need to die but I'm scared of my own mind now. I can't trust my decisions. I made such terrible choices and it haunts me.
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