Feeling guilty about method choice.

[HFK40000]

My plan right now is to CTB using a firearm. My first choice was to go using SN but I am having a hard time finding a source that ships to the US. I feel guilty for the mess it will leave behind and I worry about how it will effect the person who has to ID my body. I also don't like the idea that my family and friends won't have the option for an open casket. It would also be really nice to just fade away while lying in bed. It's why SN or OD was my first choice.

 

[Dolphin(Ash)]

I have this exact thought, I don't have access to any firearms, I can't tell you what I think you should do, but I understand the fear. I thought about for a long time and my thought was to call the police with a location so only person has to see and that person is prepared before they do. And if you're really not sure, put it on the back burner for now, take some time to reflect, maybe you have more time than you thought :) <3

 

[HFK40000]

I have this exact thought, I don't have access to any firearms, I can't tell you what I think you should do, but I understand the fear. I thought about for a long time and my thought was to call the police with a location so only person has to see and that person is prepared before they do. And if you're really not sure, put it on the back burner for now, take some time to reflect, maybe you have more time than you thought :) <3

That's a solid suggestion. I have spent a lot of time reflecting on when I should do it. As of right now I'm trying to see if my ex will take me back (either as a friend or as a relationship). I'm not very optimistic about it working out.

 

[Life Is My Coffin]

Great Daughers album as profile pic. wish they were still around

 

[sadbh]

There are pros and cons to all methods, so maybe try to see the benefits in using a gun? With good aim, it's very lethal and nearly instantaneous. If you want to preserve your face for open casket, you could probably shoot your heart with hallow point bullets.

There was ways to mitigate mess (tarps, outside, etc) and ways to avoid not being found by anyone besides EMS. Calling right before and then shooting yourself is a decent idea. And for me personally, I wish I could find a method that makes me a veggie, so I could at least donate my organs.

Just some food for thought.

 

[HFK40000]

Great Daughers album as profile pic. wish they were still around

Thanks. It's one of my top ten favorite albums. It captures the feeling of hopelessness and acceptance of your fate in a way that is truly unique.

 

[HFK40000]

There are pros and cons to all methods, so maybe try to see the benefits in using a gun? With good aim, it's very lethal and nearly instantaneous. If you want to preserve your face for open casket, you could probably shoot your heart with hallow point bullets.

There was ways to mitigate mess (tarps, outside, etc) and ways to avoid not being found by anyone besides EMS. Calling right before and then shooting yourself is a decent idea. And for me personally, I wish I could find a method that makes me a veggie, so I could at least donate my organs.

It should be instant I'm using a 12G slug placed inside of the mouth.

 

[tooafraidtodiez]

There are SN sources that ship to the US MIC being one of them. Unfortunately i can't give any more hints than that you have to find the rest yourself. But you still need benzo/painkiller to reduce discomfort with SN.