Venting feeling depressed and thinking abt ctb

[skmgirl]

Hi. I can't say that my life is THAT horrible, I mean I have a pretty good life unlike other people but there is something in me that won't let me be happy I guess. There are many traumas and I have a rly bad past due to many ugly things. No matter what I do or how I spend my time I just can't get rid of that sadness. I m just depressed and even tho I dont have a good reason to CTB i m perma thinking about this like I even thought how to do it and when and stuff. . The only thing that actually makes me feel better is self harming. I ve been doing it since I was very young and it helps me a bit. The only thing that gives me comfort. I ve tried to talk to people but all I got was "Everything will get better with time" and stuff like that which made me feel very alone and like they don't get it.The only reason why i dont CTB is because I love my sister too much and I wouldn't want her to feel that pain you feel when someone u love passes away. Any thoughts on it? Thanku!

 

[ipmanwc0]

Don't not ctb for someone else's sake

 

[undecided]

Don't not ctb for someone else's sake

Can you elaborate on that?
Did you read the while post ?

 

[ipmanwc0]

Can you elaborate on that?
Did you read the while post ?

Yeah I did. My opinion is that a person who has several reasons to die but not really any to live shouldn't not ctb just because someone else would feel bad because of it. Sure most people here would agree with that

 

[undecided]

Hi. I can't say that my life is THAT horrible, I mean I have a pretty good life unlike other people but there is something in me that won't let me be happy I guess. There are many traumas and I have a rly bad past due to many ugly things. No matter what I do or how I spend my time I just can't get rid of that sadness. I m just depressed and even tho I dont have a good reason to CTB i m perma thinking about this like I even thought how to do it and when and stuff. . The only thing that actually makes me feel better is self harming. I ve been doing it since I was very young and it helps me a bit. The only thing that gives me comfort. I ve tried to talk to people but all I got was "Everything will get better with time" and stuff like that which made me feel very alone and like they don't get it.The only reason why i dont CTB is because I love my sister too much and I wouldn't want her to feel that pain you feel when someone u love passes away. Any thoughts on it? Thanku!

It's very, very hard to ctb.

I don't know what trauma you've experienced in your life, but it's obvious that it's affected you and caused you to have dark thoughts.
Have you taken advantage of the help that's been offered to you, or haven't you been offered any help at all ?
I'm at a loss as to what to advise because I feel your pain.

Yeah I did. My opinion is that a person who has several reasons to die but not really any to live shouldn't not ctb just because someone else would feel bad because of it. Sure most people here would agree with that

Ah ok, that's YOUR feelings though, not the same feelings as skmgirl.
You're actually invalidating her feelings, and your response isn't helpful at all.

 

[skmgirl]

It's very, very hard to ctb.

I don't know what trauma you've experienced in your life, but it's obvious that it's affected you and caused you to have dark thoughts.
Have you taken advantage of the help that's been offered to you, or haven't you been offered any help at all ?
I'm at a loss as to what to advise because I feel your pain.

Ah ok, that's YOUR feelings though, not the same feelings as skmgirl.
You're actually invalidating her feelings, and your response isn't helpful at all.

Thanku, ur kind words actually warmed my heart a bit. I have many people that care about me, people that are trying to help but no matter the effort I cant get better or at least I couldn t get better in the past and I feel bad because it hurts me to see them trying and idk me simply not getting better. Sometimes I am fine but it doesn't last long and I relapse. Tryinf very hard to stay sober and clean from self harming but I can't.

 

[ipmanwc0]

It's very, very hard to ctb.

I don't know what trauma you've experienced in your life, but it's obvious that it's affected you and caused you to have dark thoughts.
Have you taken advantage of the help that's been offered to you, or haven't you been offered any help at all ?
I'm at a loss as to what to advise because I feel your pain.

Ah ok, that's YOUR feelings though, not the same feelings as skmgirl.
You're actually invalidating her feelings, and your response isn't helpful at all.

When did I invalidate their feelings?

 

[undecided]

When did I invalidate their feelings?

I'll leave that to skmgirl to explain that to you.

 

[ipmanwc0]

I'll leave that to skmgirl to explain that to you.

Is your issue that I support ctb for severe unresolvable suffering? If skmgirl wanted help like you're advising they would have posted in recovery not suicide discussions, or r/suicide watch. This is not a pro life forum

 

[undecided]

Is your issue that I support ctb for severe unresolvable suffering? If skmgirl wanted help like you're advising they would have posted in recovery not suicide discussions, or r/suicide watch. This is not a pro life forum

Of course that's not my issue. My issue is that you're completely disregarding what skmgirl is saying. She is telling us why she is having difficulty in ctb, because she loves her sister and knows how much it would affect her. You're telling her that she should disregard her feelings for her sister and just do it anyway.
The fact that she has mentioned it here, means it is a problem to her. You can't just expect her to block her feelings for her sister. The fact that she loves her sister so much, is at least one reason for her to continue to live.
These are her feelings, not yours.

 

[Foreverix]

Is your issue that I support ctb for severe unresolvable suffering? If skmgirl wanted help like you're advising they would have posted in recovery not suicide discussions, or r/suicide watch. This is not a pro life forum

It's not pro-life, but it's also not pro-mortality. It's pro-choice. Your comment not to not CTB just because of someone else could be construed as encouraging suicide. I'm not sure that this was your intent though. You're simply saying don't just stay alive for another's sake. And that's fine. But saying, "Don't not CTB" is toeing a line, because the inference of the double negative is, "Do CTB."

Just my opinion though, and I'm probably wrong.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be tiring being trapped in that situation, I find it so insensitive how people invalidate suffering with those hollow, empty words "it gets better", sadly those people could simply never understand and it sounds like they won't even try to. But anyway best wishes.