Gloomic
Member
- Aug 14, 2026
- 18
My biological father left during my childhood and now he rarely contacts me. I don't get any support from him.
My step-father is always drowned in stress and business. I don't get any quality time that is meaningful between us. I don't remember doing an activity where it's just him and I. He never wants to go out or do any activities with me, nor does he want to be in the same space as anybody. Honestly, I think business is his escape from my family, so he works all the time. He's stoic, so trying to hug and hold his hand in public or private will be shrugged off. It's been so many years, one would think he would have some affection toward me, but it feels forced. He follows whatever my parent has to say. He only does things for me when my parent expects it or out of his own morale.
I once presented a hypothetical for if my parent passes away, will he choose to keep me by his side, and he couldn't give a definitive answer. I'm positive that he would take his biological child in if they were suffering. There is a irreplacable love between them that I could never receive. He discusses his child's accomplishments sometimes, but it's never the same boasting with mine. I know I don't have as many feats as his biological child, so perhaps that is the reason. I'm not good enough for him.
I truly believe that if I were to move out, my step-father would never speak to me again, just like my biological father. I just have to accept that. No father could ever unconditionally love me.
It makes me look for that affection in the wrong places. Teachers, mentors, etc. I'm not their kid either, of course the affection isn't unconditional. So, when they forget about me, it affects my mental. I wonder if any father will mourn if I die.
My step-father is always drowned in stress and business. I don't get any quality time that is meaningful between us. I don't remember doing an activity where it's just him and I. He never wants to go out or do any activities with me, nor does he want to be in the same space as anybody. Honestly, I think business is his escape from my family, so he works all the time. He's stoic, so trying to hug and hold his hand in public or private will be shrugged off. It's been so many years, one would think he would have some affection toward me, but it feels forced. He follows whatever my parent has to say. He only does things for me when my parent expects it or out of his own morale.
I once presented a hypothetical for if my parent passes away, will he choose to keep me by his side, and he couldn't give a definitive answer. I'm positive that he would take his biological child in if they were suffering. There is a irreplacable love between them that I could never receive. He discusses his child's accomplishments sometimes, but it's never the same boasting with mine. I know I don't have as many feats as his biological child, so perhaps that is the reason. I'm not good enough for him.
I truly believe that if I were to move out, my step-father would never speak to me again, just like my biological father. I just have to accept that. No father could ever unconditionally love me.
It makes me look for that affection in the wrong places. Teachers, mentors, etc. I'm not their kid either, of course the affection isn't unconditional. So, when they forget about me, it affects my mental. I wonder if any father will mourn if I die.
