Discussion Fantasy suicide

[sohopelessandempty]

We all fantasize about it obviously but does anyone have that in the literal sense? Like it's called fantasy suicide because it is unrealistic. Like fantasizing about a suicide that's quick and painless and easy and it goes exactly how you want, or you could just disappear and nobody would notice, whatever you want. Stuff that is unrealistic and you know it wouldn't play out that way in real life, that real death doesn't work that way, but a romanticized, comforting version. People say suicide shouldn't be romanticized and I get that, I don't say this to encourage others. However, I'm saying romanticizing it in your head is like a sweet escape. Not even suicide can be how we want. But you can pretend. All I ever do is pretend. Such a peaceful sleep. I could disappear, evaporate, be another speck of dust in the air, floating away. Forgotten, or better yet, it's as if I never existed to begin with. Everyone's lives stay the same. The world stays the same. Things go on like normal. And I am gone, in peace. Never having to feel this pain again. I've been thinking about writing about a fantasy death but worried I'll get cancelled over the romanticization, but maybe here it won't be treated that way. I don't want to tell other what to do, I just want to get it out there somewhere and maybe it'll also be comforting for others to read. And to imagine. I want to write about an impossible, peaceful suicide. So peaceful. I want to close my eyes and never wake up again. I want it to be the last time I close them. The last sleep. Eternal slumber…

 

[- crybaby -]

Hm, I had many scenarios in my mind ,many methods / scenes playing over and over throughout the years .
But if we're talking fantasy ..
First .. make sure everyone hates me, loathes me so when before I go .. I know for a fact they'd smile knowing I'm gone .
I'd spend my last 24 hours trying every fucking drug on earth ,feeling each high and die of overdose somewhere out in the nature ,by the river .. oh and cherry on top ;while orgasming .

 

[sohopelessandempty]

Hm, I had many scenarios in my mind ,many methods / scenes playing over and over throughout the years .
But if we're talking fantasy ..
First .. make sure everyone hates me, loathes me so when before I go .. I know for a fact they'd smile knowing I'm gone .
I'd spend my last 24 hours trying every fucking drug on earth ,feeling each high and die of overdose somewhere out in the nature ,by the river .. oh and cherry on top ;while orgasming .

I just spent a couple minutes writing a fantasy, idk if it's exactly what I want but it was meant for a wider appeal, although I don't think you'd like that specific fantasy based on this haha.

 

[- crybaby -]

It's each to their own , right?

 

[sohopelessandempty]

It's each to their own , right?

Yeah!

 

[GASLIGHTER7000]

i understand i think and i also view suicide as a "fantasy". a lot of people are worried about the consequences of their ctb, disturbing people or being found and hurting their family. it sounds bad but i'm not afraid of those factors. ctb for me is finally achieving peace, eternal nothingness. there might not be any happiness but there's no sadness either. ive always been attracted to the idea of feeling nothing and being in peace. i love sleeping, because i feel like that's the closest i'll get to that feeling. when i wake up, i feel dread and wish i could just go back to sleep.

I've been thinking about writing about a fantasy death but worried I'll get cancelled over the romanticization, but maybe here it won't be treated that way.

you should definitely write about it and post it here, i'm sure it'll be well received and it would help many people feel seen!

 

[sohopelessandempty]

i understand i think and i also view suicide as a "fantasy". a lot of people are worried about the consequences of their ctb, disturbing people or being found and hurting their family. it sounds bad but i'm not afraid of those factors. ctb for me is finally achieving peace, eternal nothingness. there might not be any happiness but there's no sadness either. ive always been attracted to the idea of feeling nothing and being in peace. i love sleeping, because i feel like that's the closest i'll get to that feeling. when i wake up, i feel dread and wish i could just go back to sleep.

you should definitely write about it and post it here, i'm sure it'll be well received and it would help many people feel seen!

I wrote about it a few minutes ago!!! You should be able to find it somewhere in suicide discussion, let me know what you think. I used to have a huge passion for writing, maybe I should get back into it. Also based on the other things you said, I think you'd love my take on the whole suicide fantasy thing.

 

[- crybaby -]

I wrote about it a few minutes ago!!! You should be able to find it somewhere in suicide discussion, let me know what you think. I used to have a huge passion for writing, maybe I should get back into it.

On it

 

[scary]

I wish I could just lay in bed one day and some part in my brain knows to shut down and make me dead instantly in a quick and painless way, or a button I could press that'd do the same thing. Burning charcoal while laying down is probably the closest ill get to achieving that though.

 

[wine is fine but]

i fantasise over it
have acted it out at times, not so much lately, but definitely in my younger years
still let the head slump forward with the death stare occasionally; the death stare on it's own more than just occasionally - although i try to not do any of it with others around

 

[sohopelessandempty]

I wish I could just lay in bed one day and some part in my brain knows to shut down and make me dead instantly in a quick and painless way, or a button I could press that'd do the same thing. Burning charcoal while laying down is probably the closest ill get to achieving that though.

I wish for the same thing. We have survival instinct but not a built in ability to peacefully die. Call me crazy but it might've even been a helpful thing to exist in evolution, that if someone is in too great pain, too awful of a situation, etc etc, the brain knows to kill itself to protect us from the threat. But instead we just have survival instinct which has caused a lot of us distress and more suffering.

 

[scary]

I wish for the same thing. We have survival instinct but not a built in ability to peacefully die. Call me crazy but it might've even been a helpful thing to exist in evolution, that if someone is in too great pain, too awful of a situation, etc etc, the brain knows to kill itself to protect us from the threat. But instead we just have survival instinct which has caused a lot of us distress and more suffering.

Animals like Exploding Ants are able to "self destruct" themselves to protect themselves and their colony but of course that kind of evolutionary advantage is mostly limited to smaller less advanced animals and not something like humans. Survival Instincts are a double edged sword that can lead to more grief and misery I agree. I also wish people were able to just spontaneously die as a defense mechanism, but unfortunately staying alive to do things like passing genes is what the human brain is hardwired to do.