Failed suicide attempt?

[Oliver]

Anyone who want to share their failed attempt, so that we can all learn what not to do?

I tried to cbt back in september (2023) by cutting my arm. I thought it would be easy to cut through the artery. I thought the blood would start gushing out immediately and that I would pass out within minutes and then shortly thereafter I would die. Unfortunately, that didn't happen and all I did was mess up my arm for many months. I learned afterwards, that suicide really isn't that easy (at least without a gun).

 

[Ardere]

I think you have to cut deep, that would be too painful for me.

 

[wagner2029]

CTB is difficult in all aspects, the body will always fight to stay alive, you need to research the methods, choose the one that best suits your needs.

 

[Oliver]

CTB is difficult in all aspects, the body will always fight to stay alive, you need to research the methods, choose the one that best suits your needs.

My preferred way is gun but guns are illegal where I live...

 

[wagner2029]

My preferred way is gun but guns are illegal where I live...

where I live too, I just won't use this method because of the dirt.
It's not difficult to get a gun, it's just not very cheap.

 

[Oliver]

where I live too, I just won't use this method because of the dirt.
It's not difficult to get a gun, it's just not very cheap.

Yeah I just don't know where to begin. Just walk up to someone you think is in a gang:" hey bro. could you perhaps..."

 

[pebpebpebpeb]

tried partial hanging but wussed out at the last second. have a very bad headache for about a week and a mark around my neck from the belt.

 

[Dopamine_Junkie44]

Thanks for opening this thread. I find this very interesting as well.

 

[LifeIsCrazyNemb]

Yeah I just don't know where to begin. Just walk up to someone you think is in a gang:" hey bro. could you perhaps..."

You can start by buying some drugs and make some initial conection with a drug dealer...then after that you can ask this question "hey bro..." lol

 

[byebyeblondie]

In 2017 I attempted suicide by overdosing. I mixed a variety of painkillers, antidepressants, diazepam's, cocaine and alcohol and I ended up in hospital, in a lot of pain, on a drip for 48 hours and wasn't aloud to be left unsupervised. When they said I'd possibly be sectioned, I went to leave the hospital and was told I'd be arrested if I did and sectioned. In the end, I just about avoided being sectioned. But I did end up under daily input from mental health teams.

Nothing got better and I attempted again twice in 2022. I ran into the ocean but got dragged out and I attempted another overdose and failed again.

I never researched methods properly so acted spontaneously and (annoyingly) got scared. Foolishly, I thought it'd simple to end my own life. I've thought about since I was a teenager. Too much of a fool and a wimp to do anything right.

I have a chosen method now, researched it a lot. I won't fail again.

 

[pebpebpebpeb]

In 2017 I attempted suicide by overdosing. I mixed a variety of painkillers, antidepressants, diazepam's, cocaine and alcohol and I ended up in hospital, in a lot of pain, on a drip for 48 hours and wasn't aloud to be left unsupervised. When they said I'd possibly be sectioned, I went to leave the hospital and was told I'd be arrested if I did and sectioned. In the end, I just about avoided being sectioned. But I did end up under daily input from mental health teams.

Nothing got better and I attempted again twice in 2022. I ran into the ocean but got dragged out and I attempted another overdose and failed again.

I never researched methods properly so acted spontaneously and (annoyingly) got scared. Foolishly, I thought it'd simple to end my own life. I've thought about since I was a teenager. Too much of a fool and a wimp to do anything right.

I have a chosen method now, researched it a lot. I won't fail again.

can i ask what the method you're looking forward to is? your story is interesting. i never even thought about the ocean. i'm sorry you've failed so many times. it sounds like hell.

 

[Oliver]

You can start by buying some drugs and make some initial conection with a drug dealer...then after that you can ask this question "hey bro..." lol

Haha yeah might be a not so bad idea

 

[theboy]

I had 3 attempts: throwing myself into a car, injecting air and full suspension.

 

[byebyeblondie]

can i ask what the method you're looking forward to is? your story is interesting. i never even thought about the ocean. i'm sorry you've failed so many times. it sounds like hell.

I plan to use helium. I've found lots of informative resources online about it. It seems like it'd be relatively peaceful and quick, if executed correctly.

Yeah it's been hell :(

 

[Red Orca]

So far I had what could be considered 4 attempts, with various amounts of investment and none with highly chance of success.

At age of 15 I got heavily drunk, mixed all meds I had at home (none actually prescribed drugs) and tried to jump of a high bridge near a highway. Despite being heavily intoxicated couldn't find courage to do so and gave up. At the time, I assumed that CTB was just something I would never be capable of, that requires some kind of mental strength that I would never attain (probably is still correct in some level).

At age of 25 I tried to OD while drowning, took several prescribtion medications (none I actually recall what they were), mixed with a half-can of beer and planned to jump of a bridge near a very rapid river. Got unconscious at the bus taking me to the destination, and ended in a coma for 3 days. Woke up at the hospital, family tried to help, but nothing really worked.

Less than a year from that, I decided to try and drown myself at the ocean, this time straight faced. No drugs, no alcohol. Couldn't do it. Got as far as water in the neck and just gave up. Went back to the shore, called family members and asked for help.

Tried multiple psychiatric treatments, tried faith, nothing helped.

Tried OD twice since then, one at the streets, again, multiple variated medications, just ended puking and shitting myself and got commited to a hospital for a while.

And the latest one, in a house I rented, about two years ago. Mixed Whiskey with multiple prescription drugs. Just thrashed the place and puked everything.

I'm now planning to CTB over the next month. Got more acclimated with the stuff from the PPH, and found a nice beach that gets quite isolated during the nights on low tourist season. Planning to go for a Lethal Cardiac while in deep enough water so that I can be dragged while unconscious in case the medication doesn't succeed.

 

[Painfu.Ll.suffering]

I had 3 attempts: throwing myself into a car, injecting air and full suspension

Can u elaborate on injecting air?

Its a horrible feeling to be denied help in what you want and are forced to be a Guinea pig instead...

 

[theboy]

Can u elaborate on injecting air?

Its a horrible feeling to be denied help in what you want and are forced to be a Guinea pig instead...

Yes, sometimes I have felt like a guinea pig with so many drug treatments.

If you inject 30cc of air, it's enough to give you an embolism that reaches your arteries or something like that. With that you become unconscious and the nervous system is altered but I guess if you inject more air you can die.

 

[Painfu.Ll.suffering]

Yes, sometimes I have felt like a guinea pig with so many drug treatments.

If you inject 30cc of air, it's enough to give you an embolism that reaches your arteries or something like that. With that you become unconscious and the nervous system is altered but I guess if you inject more air you can die.

Ah ok it sounded to me like you tried that method and failed...

 

[theboy]

Ah ok it sounded to me like you tried that method and failed...

Yes, apparently I did not inject well and my arm formed bubbles instead of air reaching the vein. It looks like I injected it into the muscle. I don't know. But I failed the attempt

 

[Punpun Onodera]

I tried to OD a few years ago by taking the full bottle of my ADHD medication and some other pills. But my parents took me to the ER and I unfortunately lived. Honestly kinda wish I just died because of how people around me talk about it whenever its brought up. And the PTSD also fucking sucks.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I tried cutting an artery but the knife was too dull, tried overdosing on hydroxyzine twice, and more recently I tried hanging myself multiple times using a belt and then a rope. I've only been hospitalized once, back when I was 15, during my second overdose attempt. I'll proably give hanging another chance, though I would like to wait a bit before I try again since I'd like to try and meet this dude who've I've been texting first. He lives outside of my country, but not super far away.

 

[voidstar]

Around 13 I tried suffocating myself with a plastic bag, I tried that thing where you'd simply seal the bag around your neck with some tape, would wear a cap so the bag wouldn't stick to your face when breathing and downed some sleeping pills from my mom. Didn't work, got found barely in time almost choking on my own vomit.
The next one I'm not sure when, some time after the first. Tried partial hanging with the rope of my boxing bag in my room - again found in time. Didn't manage to properly restrict myself with the rope.
At 15 I tried again with sleeping pills and amitriptyline, didn't take enough and ended up in the ER with a psych ward stay.
There are some other attempts scattered after that which weren't too successful so not worth mentioning I think.
On my 18th birthday I once again took my mother's sleeping pills and my amitriptyline, a whole box of both along with over half a bottle of vodka. I was unconscious for 2 days, my parents checked on me in the third day and found me almost dead in my own vomit. I was in a delirious state for a week, got fed with liquid food and I can't really remember much else.
Then in 2017 when my mother died I attempted again, cut my wrists very deep going for the artery while lying in the tub, with alcohol and sleeping pills. I supposedly lost consciousness and was found by my then partner. Another ward stay.

I just wish it'd have worked one of these times. My next and hopefully final attempt will either be partial again, B 1.4 or if I can source it some SN. Or if I'm lucky another shot with tricyclic antidepressants.
I just want to die.

 

[Done_With_It_All]

Two attempts:

1. Tried to electrocute myself by sticking metal into a wall outlet. Turns out it just gives you a zap.

2. Tried burning charcoal for CO poisoning in the boiler room of my housing complex. I didn't know how much smoke was going to be made, so someone called 911. They forced me to go to the ward, was there for 2 weeks and the billed me for the care even though I didn't have a choice in going.

 

[mtoro998]

I tried once years ago I downed 60 xanax pills thinking id overdose. I didnt die or do any research before hand.

 

[kaidatenn]

Attempted to jump. They stopped kai, heck they even cried. Note to kai and maybe others do not believe their cries, they didn't even contact kai for the past 6 years after that aside from making kai do something for them. Kai should've jumped and ignore their crying.