Failed SN..

[Hashe20]

Today I came closer than I ever have to ending my life with SN, I had everything ready and planned for weeks, but when the moment came I couldn't go through with it. I don't really know how to feel about that. Part of me feels weak for backing out, part of me wonders if I'm just afraid to die, and another part of me is just completely overwhelmed.

My life it's falling apart. I'm around 200k in debt, I'm soon to be homeless, and my family and girlfriend has abandoned me.

I guess I'm posting because I don't want to sit alone with this. Has anyone else failed like this?

 

[Bitter Almonds]

Yeah, I think you'll hear a bunch like this on the forums. I tried PSH and couldn't get it to work. Before I joined this site, I tried to cut my wrists. also didn't work.

Now I'm just trapped in the middle of wanting to leave and wanting to stay.

 

[FF777]

SI (survival instinct) is always a lot stronger than you anticipate it to be.. CTB usually feels completely unnatural.. so what you experienced isn't uncommon at all..

 

[telekon]

Today I came closer than I ever have to ending my life with SN, I had everything ready and planned for weeks, but when the moment came I couldn't go through with it. I don't really know how to feel about that. Part of me feels weak for backing out, part of me wonders if I'm just afraid to die, and another part of me is just completely overwhelmed.

My life it's falling apart. I'm around 200k in debt, I'm soon to be homeless, and my family and girlfriend has abandoned me.

I guess I'm posting because I don't want to sit alone with this. Has anyone else failed like this?

Really similar situation... around 80k instead of 200k but at that level it really doesn't matter one or the other. My family and girlfriend left me too although the girlfriend was more mutual as I could no longer support us.

I don't want to kill myself but if I can't get some money together by the end of the month I might have no choice. I can't live like this anymore. I was so close to being successful too which is really sad. I think there were some people who were rooting for me, though silently and from many miles away.

 

[AgathaChristieLover]

Some people on this site(especially whoever posted those megathreads) make there method of choice sound easy
"All you have to do is drink Sn after the preparations and you'll be dead"
"You'll be unconscious in thirty seconds with PSH" (I've never seen someone who finds it that easy to pass out)
The truth is, suicide is hard to do, and SI is a bitch

 

[MrMegalomaniac]

SI (survival instinct) is always a lot stronger than you anticipate it to be.. CTB usually feels completely unnatural.. so what you experienced isn't uncommon at all..

I would attribute this to SI too, a lot of people turn to medication or alcohol to help them amplify emotion and lessen that survival instinct so they can finally go through with it.