[FAILED] Goodbye. (GHB overdose)

[western_heart]

I've prepared my doses. I'm listening to Tycho. Dive, Awake, and Epoch trilogy are queued up. Epoch is in hi-res lossless on Apple Music but idk if I will still be alive by the time it plays. My bed is ready with my microplush blankets, my favorite plushies.

My partner is out for the evening. I left a note for her in the kitchen, and after dosing, I locked the bedroom. So she doesn't have to discover my body. I told her that it's okay to call 911, to let someone else deal with my body,

5:30 pm (taken)
~1 mg flualprazolam eyeballed
25 mg diphenhydramine
Meclizine dissolvable motion sickness tablet that I found while looking for the DPH tablets

6:00 pm (taken)
~10 mg flualprozam capsule
25 mg diphenhydramine
8 mg ondansetron ODT

6:20 pm (taken)
10 g GHB, which is 20 mL at my concentration, from a shot glass
A glass of Gatorade to wash it down with.
Some etizolam solution from the bottle.
Another 8 mg ondansetron ODT if I feel nausea and am able to open the packaging.
A can of Starry soda if there are still bad tastes in my moth.

It's now 6:50. .I'm lying down now, time to relax, then drift to sleep. Thank you all for the community over the past two years.

I love you so much, my dear. I wish I'd found a different way forward. But... this is my time.

My partner knows my SS username, so she may post here In the future Please treat with kindly and support her as best she can.

 

[living once]

Wishing you the best, see you on the other side!

 

[Lavander 230]

Who is she? Anyways I hope you knew what you were doing and you didn't suffer much or at all. I wish you best of luck in your afterlife and beyond.

 

[Electronic Music]

Sorry to hear life was unbearable for you all these years, but it looks like you found the solution that works for you. Enjoy your peace my friend, I'm eager to join you. May your partner understand and not take this too harsh knowing how necessary it was for you. Much love, and best wishes.

 

[western_heart]

she = my partner, we are lesbians.

 

[Nohw]

I hope you find the peace you're looking for.

 

[Lavander 230]

she = my partner, we are lesbians.

I wish I had more time to chat with you. I feel so sad you have to go away so soon...

 

[TheTranstarEngineer]

Hope you find your peace, and good luck on your journey

 

[missingpeace]

I'm sorry life has brought you to this juncture, all the best for your transition.

 

[crowbait]

I'm sorry things led to this, I truly wish it didn't. I hope your transition to the next place is an easy one, and I hope you feel peaceful and comfortable as you fall asleep.

 

[western_heart]

]= I come cack .
pistraogjt.
ETA : what the fuk iw stat supposed to Ean:

I cna't ileim awathe, manually.

I am really struggling t o type. No pshuicla symptoms yet.

 

[Zegers]

Godspeed

 

[Salvation_]

I don't know if you're still with us, but safe travels.

 

[CTB Dream]

V sry life cruel pain, hope peace

 

[wanttodie]

good luck

 

[Winry]

Rest in peace

 

[LocalAngel]

Sayonara.. i hope you found peace.

 

[leeloosnow]

You will be missed my friend. I'm sorry for your suffering but I'll rejoice in your freedom. Safe travels and see you on the other side <3

 

[GasMonkey]

See you on the Other Side.

 

[western_heart]

12 am sunday. I am still alive

Just 6 hours later after the supposed fatal GHB dose and I'm still here still here.

I did not vomit. But I am still alive

 

[qwerty1969]

How you feeling

 

[wait.what]

For selfish reasons, I am glad you're not gone. Not even going to guess how things must feel to you. We'll be around if/when you want to talk about it. <3

 

[Caoine01]

Welcome back, don't mind, there will allways be an other day...

 

[katara]

Hey stranger, I don't know if you remember me but we talked in the livechat before. I like your music taste, I hope things get better for you

 

[western_heart]

Hey stranger, I don't know if you remember me but we talked in the livechat before. I like your music taste, I hope things get better for you

Hi, i remember you :)

i am glad you are still with us.

A lot of GHB right now is not actually GHB -- did you get it tested?

No, it felt like GHB, but I think I can reagent test it here at home.
Rushed to the gas station JUST before it closed to buy diluted vodka before it closed alcohol sales for the night. Only single severing 20% bottle. The attendant didn't even know they have it

So now I have 1 L of 40 proof liquor to aid in the next attempt.

 

[Shadowlord900]

I'm sorry your attempt didn't work out and hope you're not feeling too nauseated or getting any nasty hallucinations. I deluded there was spiders everywhere when I took my Nytol overdose over a year ago, it was nasty.

There's only 2 things I can think why your attempt failed:

1) You used quite a few drugs that I haven't heard of being used in other drug OD attempts before, especially the Ondansetron. While from the sounds of it, it does sound more effective at vomit prevention than metoclopramide (I only assume that due to its main use being for chemotherapy), I do wonder if it interacted with the GHB in any way that ended up making it less effective.

2) Even if you think you've used more than enough GHB in relation to your body mass, while 10g is usually the magic minimum number for fatal ODs, I personally wouldn't even risk it as high as that. I would have gone higher, like 13g or even 17g. I know going with more than what's possibly needed only increases the risk of vomiting, but for the fatal part of the drug cocktail I'd rather go with too much than not enough.

 

[western_heart]

Now to find mixers for these tiny 50 mL bottles of diluted vodka...

2) Even if you think you've used more than enough GHB in relation to your body mass, while 10g is usually the magic minimum number for fatal ODs, I personally wouldn't even risk it as high as that. I would have gone higher, like 13g or even 17g. I know going with more than what's possibly needed only increases the risk of vomiting, but for the fatal part of the drug cocktail I'd rather go with too much than not enough.

I am 60 kg, at 150 mg/kg a 9 g dose should have been sucififcient. Maybe my product is not as potent, it was distributed as an NaGB salt and I had to convert to liquid GHB on my own. it definitely seems to be GHB.

 

[Shadowlord900]

I am 60 kg, at 150 mg/kg a 9 g dose should have been sucififcient.

Then the only things I can think of is either bad interaction with other drugs you used, or as @nozomu said, not all of it was pure GHB. You don't mind me asking what form the GHB came in do you? If it was powder, there's a very good chance it would have been laced with other stuff. (If that was the case, shame if it wasn't fentanyl, that should have also done you in unless if you already have an opioid tolerance.)

 

[western_heart]

Then the only things I can think of is either bad interaction with other drugs you used, or as @nozomu said, not all of it was pure GHB. You don't mind me asking what form the GHB came in do you? If it was powder, there's a very good chance it would have been laced with other stuff. (If that was the case, shame if it wasn't fentanyl, that should have also done you in unless if you already have an opioid tolerance.)

It was shipped to me from vendor as a solid NaGHB salt, then I converted it to liquid form at home.

12 am sunday. I am still alive

Just 6 hours later after the supposed fatal GHB dose and I'm still here still here.

I did not vomit. But I am still alive

I slept until gf got home…

Unfortunately my watch did get any SpO2 reading while I was asleep, before I fell asleep it was reading 95-100%. I was hoping it would be lower...

For next time:
* Much higher benzo dose
* Liquor too
* Higher GHB dose (20 mg, 40 ml) in case the potency is lower than what I was solid.

What else to change?

 

[western_heart]

Then the only things I can think of is either bad interaction with other drugs you used, or as @nozomu said, not all of it was pure GHB. You don't mind me asking what form the GHB came in do you? If it was powder, there's a very good chance it would have been laced with other stuff. (If that was the case, shame if it wasn't fentanyl, that should have also done you in unless if you already have an opioid tolerance.)

Solid NaGHB. It was packaged if it was homemade bar soap. The vendor provided instructions into converting into liquid GHB.

I'd reccomend using a harm reduction service to get your substance tested.

I have a full set of reagents so I can test to confirm it contains what it's supposed to have. I bought the test kit after I got the GHB, I converted the entire NaGHB solid to liquid so testing it might be harder now

I am so sorry you are suffering, but please take some time to be kind to yourself. It's never too late to CTB and you can always try again later.

I am being kind of myself by trying again while the benzos are still affecting me.