[FAILED] Goodbye. (GHB overdose)

[western_heart]

For the record this attempt was impulsive! I have Dissociative Identity Disorder and my system's fear of drinking prevented us from actually getting alcohol before attempting. The alter who planned the attempt was not 100% sure that it would kill us but confident enough to write a note and thread. She was supposed to get another depressant beforehand but never did. She saw a window of opportunity when we would be alone long enough and tried with what we had. she didn't think through the consequences of a failed attempt and thought if it did fail, she could just try again, as evidenced by her posts the night of. There are parts of me that know better, but they weren't there the night of my attempt; we have been a poly substance user for over a decade now, but a traumatized mess with inconsistent memory for much longer.
Recovering has forced me to process a bunch of childhood trauma and as a result I'm more alive than I was before. We are no longer planning suicide, but I let the alter who planned my failed attempt respond below. I will still keep notifications on for this thread but probably won't answer any more questions about the drugs in the future, it's been two months and my memory is fading as I focus more on recovery.

Are you sure your gbl is genuine?

Because no one is waking up from 10g of gbl which is crazy and you where not sleeping or unconscious for a longtime, even in little dosage gbl people will sleep a lot

I woke up from taking what I thought was 10 g GHB, and felt a pretty strong dopamine rebound. I did not reagent test it at any point, and whatever remained was disposed of after my attempt. With that said I have no reason to believe it was a different substance or that the dose taken was substantially less than 10 g. It tasted salty.

it's possible it was less pure than advertised. It was a white solid and mixed into a liquid following instructions. I dosed volumetrically so I'm sure I had the right amount of liquid +-5%. If some of the drug was lost when mixing it's possible the dose I had was less than 10 g. I had taken it before, ~4.5 g total a few months before my attempt, spread out over an evening, felt pretty good at ~3 g. Redosed after three hours and got sick (not responding when spoken to, threw up, laid in bath for hours)

I am a long term benzo user so tolerance may have played a factor. Also, part of me didn't want to die.

 

[Vizzy]

For the record this attempt was impulsive! I have Dissociative Identity Disorder and my system's fear of drinking prevented us from actually getting alcohol before attempting. The alter who planned the attempt was not 100% sure that it would kill us but confident enough to write a note and thread. She was supposed to get another depressant beforehand but never did. She saw a window of opportunity when we would be alone long enough and tried with what we had. she didn't think through the consequences of a failed attempt and thought if it did fail, she could just try again, as evidenced by her posts the night of. There are parts of me that know better, but they weren't there the night of my attempt; we have been a poly substance user for over a decade now, but a traumatized mess with inconsistent memory for much longer.
Recovering has forced me to process a bunch of childhood trauma and as a result I'm more alive than I was before. We are no longer planning suicide, but I let the alter who planned my failed attempt respond below. I will still keep notifications on for this thread but probably won't answer any more questions about the drugs in the future, it's been two months and my memory is fading as I focus more on recovery.



I woke up from taking what I thought was 10 g GHB, and felt a pretty strong dopamine rebound. I did not reagent test it at any point, and whatever remained was disposed of after my attempt. With that said I have no reason to believe it was a different substance or that the dose taken was substantially less than 10 g. It tasted salty.

it's possible it was less pure than advertised. It was a white solid and mixed into a liquid following instructions. I dosed volumetrically so I'm sure I had the right amount of liquid +-5%. If some of the drug was lost when mixing it's possible the dose I had was less than 10 g. I had taken it before, ~4.5 g total a few months before my attempt, spread out over an evening, felt pretty good at ~3 g. Redosed after three hours and got sick (not responding when spoken to, threw up, laid in bath for hours)

I am a long term benzo user so tolerance may have played a factor. Also, part of me didn't want to die.

Thank you for explaining

Do you still believe in gbl method?

 

[Jezzibell]

Sigh. I can see the notes the med staff write me.

I am being involuntary commited (instead of voluntary) because I wrote a suicide note and gf showed it to the cops, and handwote my signature. Gf proceeded to show it to the police.

Eta: my gf is refusing to bring me a phone charger. I actually have one along in a bag with my purse and clothes! But it is stored elsewhere down the hall and I don't think I'm allowed to leave my room.

I really am sorry she has done this to you. Sectioning has so many implications for jobs, insurance etc.

Whilst I get that she may have been worried, I still don't think involuntary admission will solve anything. If you are not committed to "recover" you won't.

Oh dear. I still honestly feel she did not have the right. If she was that worried she should have at least tried talking to you first.

I wish you well xx