Existential depression is a death sentence

[february in alaska]

I don't know how to deal with this shit. I literally don't. I feel like once you get to a certain stage of depression, or being suicidal, something in your head just breaks and there's no going back without hardcore drugs or drowning yourself in denial. And shit, at this point I would love to drown myself in denial but I feel like I'm too self aware to really do it.

My existence is literally meaningless. I don't matter. Sometimes I genuinely think I was made as an NPC, just some background character going through the motions every single day. Nobody knows who I am, nobody thinks about me when I'm not around, nobody cares about me as a person, not even myself. I am literally nothing. I think existentialism has genuinely broken me. I don't understand anything, it's all just noise and chaos and I feel so fucking alone. My mind is a fucking time bomb

Life feels like some cruel experiment. If God exists, he's a fucking psychopath. I don't believe in any of that shit, but part of me refuses to believe that something as evil and twisted as humanity could just naturally appear. Our species is sick and twisted. We're all fucking evil. So maybe this world is our punishment, and we really are all in hell. Not that I believe in hell, either. All I have left to cling to is the idea that there's something better after life, whether that's a nice afterlife or an eternal sleep or complete nothingness

Death feels like the only inevitable conclusion for existentialism. And if death isn't in a hurry to take me, I'll just have to meet it halfway

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Well, luckily this bastard lunatic POS that people call God was humane enough to give us a way out. We just have to take it.

 

[breezeboy]

Well, luckily this bastard lunatic POS that people call God was humane enough to give us a way out. We just have to take it.

Just wish it was easier to take. Or maybe I'm just a bitch

 

[february in alaska]

Well, luckily this bastard lunatic POS that people call God was humane enough to give us a way out. We just have to take it.

It really does feel like the only humane part of life is death. That dick sure could've made it easier, though. Or given me the choice as to whether or not I would've liked to have been born. We were all fucked over on a cosmic level

 

[casual_existence]

Do you do anything creative?

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly see the existence of life as the most horrific tragedy, it's tragic how this hellish reality filled with endless cruelty and suffering even exists, humans really are the worst species to me. I personally could never believe in such a thing as God, existence is senseless, there is no deeper meaning or purpose behind it, in my case I believe death to just be nothingness which is all that comforts me.

 

[eternityvoid]

It's kinda the same thing happened to me, well I've been depression for 7 months now. And at this point, I don't know what the fuck am I going to do. The future is so bleak. I can't even think about it anymore. I wish I can end this suffering.

 

[peoplekeeptake]

I don't know how to deal with this shit. I literally don't. I feel like once you get to a certain stage of depression, or being suicidal, something in your head just breaks and there's no going back without hardcore drugs or drowning yourself in denial. And shit, at this point I would love to drown myself in denial but I feel like I'm too self aware to really do it.

My existence is literally meaningless. I don't matter. Sometimes I genuinely think I was made as an NPC, just some background character going through the motions every single day. Nobody knows who I am, nobody thinks about me when I'm not around, nobody cares about me as a person, not even myself. I am literally nothing. I think existentialism has genuinely broken me. I don't understand anything, it's all just noise and chaos and I feel so fucking alone. My mind is a fucking time bomb

Life feels like some cruel experiment. If God exists, he's a fucking psychopath. I don't believe in any of that shit, but part of me refuses to believe that something as evil and twisted as humanity could just naturally appear. Our species is sick and twisted. We're all fucking evil. So maybe this world is our punishment, and we really are all in hell. Not that I believe in hell, either. All I have left to cling to is the idea that there's something better after life, whether that's a nice afterlife or an eternal sleep or complete nothingness

Death feels like the only inevitable conclusion for existentialism. And if death isn't in a hurry to take me, I'll just have to meet it halfway

I feel the same way. nothing means anything to me anymore

 

[lightnings]

I can just agree with you regarding existential depression and how dreadful it is every day to sustain

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I can relate to everything you are going through.
You definitely reach a point of no return with existential depression, because everything becomes truly pointless and meaningless.
I feel stuck in some kind of limbo, where living is no longer an option because everything just feels so wrong with this world, and any hopes of a future is zero.
There is also the constant crushing depression and suicidal thoughts , yet dying is difficult.
Just trapped between life and death where both sides are terrifying.

 

[Mirrory Me]

How did you get the idea that all people are evil? Nothing is perfect on this physical level, we have to work together to improve it.

 

[february in alaska]

Do you do anything creative?

I used to, haven't really been able to find the energy or motivation to keep up with it lately. Mostly writing and art. Those were probably the happiest aspects of my life

I can relate to everything you are going through.
You definitely reach a point of no return with existential depression, because everything becomes truly pointless and meaningless.
I feel stuck in some kind of limbo, where living is no longer an option because everything just feels so wrong with this world, and any hopes of a future is zero.
There is also the constant crushing depression and suicidal thoughts , yet dying is difficult.
Just trapped between life and death where both sides are terrifying.

Exactly this. I hate that I have to actively choose to die when I was never given the same choice to live. I will never understand any of it

How did you get the idea that all people are evil? Nothing is perfect on this physical level, we have to work together to improve it.

I don't really mean every individual person is evil. I've even met people I would genuinely call good and kind. But as a whole, as a species, I think we're a parasite that ruins everything we touch. I just think the world would be a much, much better place without us here

 

[Mirrory Me]

I don't really mean every individual person is evil. I've even met people I would genuinely call good and kind. But as a whole, as a species, I think we're a parasite that ruins everything we touch. I just think the world would be a much, much better place without us here

I wouldn't say so. For example, humans are perhaps the only meat eaters who feels empathy towards other animals.

 

[Aim]

I am definitely not the one to be speaking for everyone here. But yess in my case it feels like i am being completely trapped and drowning and what the fuck not at the same time. I hounestly never in my wildest imagination think for a slight second depression could ever get this bad. And without being able to fiend a way out!

 

[snowlance]

Well, luckily this bastard lunatic POS that people call God was humane enough to give us a way out. We just have to take it.

And then find out hell is real and you get a free ticket there for eternity. There is no escape from this hellhole...

 

[Aim]

I am definitely not the one to be speaking for everyone here. But yess in my case it feels like i am being completely trapped and drowning and what the fuck not at the same time. I hounestly never in my wildest imagination think for a slight second depression could ever get this bad. Without being able to fiend a way out!

If you are capable of fiending your way out of this, I would grab that opportunity and run as far away as possible away, and from everything that triggers it!

 

[Callie Arcale]

Life is - and has always been - a grotesque sideshow. People are being murdered, blown to pieaces, sold, tortured etc as we speak. For every word I write someone is being raped somewhere in the world.
Human existence is so dark, so sick, so frightening, so horrific, there is no cure to it, but death.

 

[february in alaska]

I wouldn't say so. For example, humans are perhaps the only meat eaters who feels empathy towards other animals.

Eh. Again, there can be individuals who are empathetic toward animals, but definitely not humanity as a whole. What we've done to the planet as a whole, what we have done to other humans, the concentrated hypermeta that's formed throughout our society and rabid consumerism and the most dystopian entertainment imaginable. We're imploding ourselves and we absolutely deserve it. I dunno

I actually do appreciate people who are more optimistic about the world or humanity, but I've personally hit full nihilism at this point

 

[Agon321]

You are not alone. Existential void is actually the main reason for my upcoming CTB. I don't see any point in fighting for my life, because what's the point? What does it matter? I don't know if there is a God/Gods. However, I think there must be something, because otherwise any life has absolutely no meaning. However, I do not believe that any "big" religion is the true one. I just want things to be interesting on the other side. Unfortunately, current life is a fucking theater in which comedy and drama are played alternately, without any coherence or sense. Greetings and I hope that we all find something we are looking for in this world or another...I know, I'm fooling myself, but what am I left with?

 

[AgainChrisis]

What takes the sting out of CTB is the fact I know I'm going to die sooner or later so whats the harm of taking matters into my own hands?

 

[Mirrory Me]

I actually do appreciate people who are more optimistic about the world or humanity, but I've personally hit full nihilism at this point

So it is with philosophy, whether one wants to eat one's brain raw or half-cooked.

 

[february in alaska]

So it is with philosophy, whether one wants to eat one's brain raw or half-cooked.

Not sure I'm smart enough to fully understand this one lol

What takes the sting out of CTB is the fact I know I'm going to die sooner or later so whats the harm of taking matters into my own hands?

Absolutely. That might be the thing comforting me most these days. Whether I hold out for another fifty years, or die in a freak accident tomorrow, or go through with my plans to CTB, it's all the same. If I'm this miserable in life I might as well skip to the next part anyway