every decision I make is wrong

[wildflowers1996]

does anyone else feel this? I always feel I'm using my time in the "wrong" way... I wish I had been given instructions as to what I'm meant to be doing

 

[escape_from_hell]

Yes, I made bad choices and analysis paralysis is the result. There is a lot of advice about good decision making on the internet, about proper priorities and not sweating the small stuff. Nonetheless, every choice is permanent, every correction is additional usage of time and resources and another network of choices. And every choice can snowball.

My interpretation of the popular line of thought is that you have 'free will' and are therefore responsible for absolutely every condition of your being. Yet also life is a 'test' and 'growth' opportunity and you need to make the correct choice at every moment of the countless possibilities. Failure to calculate correctly results in: you are bad you go to hell, you are reborn again and again until you learn to get it right and be 'enlightened' and stop being such ungrateful scum that cannot learn lessons properly. That's what the religions say and popular sentiment seems to be. "It's just the law of attraction sucks to suck hurr hurr life is guud."

Oh and also, you are not allowed to have much enough insight or foresight for any choice, and almost always have insufficient information. No cheating on the exam!

 

[wildflowers1996]

I relate to this so much! I don't know how to prioritise, or to weigh up the pros/cons for every decision, I don't know how much weight to put on each pro/con, because like you say we don't have enough information to do this, I feel so lost and confused and if there's a God out there I don't know what they want me to do

 

[Homo erectus]

There have been a long chain more-likely-than-not-to-be-wrong decisions for me. It seems impossible to avoid all of them.

 

[sppplmgwiwlkiwbtft]

i feel you, maybe in a slightly different way.
my whole life ive been trying to make the "right"things, like working and studying hard, being kind to people, educating myself, working hard for my future goals like successful career and other "right"things. but it feels like the universe or some higher power is punishing me for all that because im miserable and almost all people i know who never paid any attention to studying, who never worked hard, who always spent their time doing substances and having fun are being rewarded by life. theyre all happy successful despite not really putting in any effort or caring, and im the one struggling.
guess all the choices that ive ever made were wrong and i was always wrong for doing the conventionally "right" things

 

[sserafim]

My mom says that I always make the worst possible decision and choose the wrong path

 

[BlendedHeart]

Overanalyzing everything is one of my defects. My fear of failing affects even some stuff other people does easily. In consequence, my decisions are really dumb or too slow.

 

[sserafim]

Overanalyzing everything is one of my defects. My fear of failing affects even some stuff other people does easily. In consequence, my decisions are really dumb or too slow.

Same. I overthink and have analysis paralysis

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

yes

 

[brokeandbroken]

does anyone else feel this? I always feel I'm using my time in the "wrong" way... I wish I had been given instructions as to what I'm meant to be doing

I've gradually lost everything I care about. No matter how hard I try to prevent it. It just kind of feels like I'm a modern day whipping boy.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

does anyone else feel this? I always feel I'm using my time in the "wrong" way... I wish I had been given instructions as to what I'm meant to be doing

Yeah that's typically what happens with me, especially around other people. Basically my life around people is summed up in this interaction:

Me: Says some stupid shit because I'm not aware what I've said is offensive (translation: "Hi")

Them: Oh my god shut the fuck up kill yourself! Bye!

Me: But what did I do??

I take a shower, apparently I'm taking too long. I mean I don't blame you, it's your apartment. I don't go to the afterschool club, apparently it's annoying. I accidently start talking about my past. The guy says, "I just ignore it." Obviously I'm in the wrong. I mean CLEARLY. I'm not being snarky when I type that either, I mean genuinely I am obviously in the wrong. It got so bad I couldn't tell right from wrong anymore and I just fought anybody because I thought everyone liked people who screamed at other people for no reason (they have a reason to scream at me, I just lack self-awareness in order to tell).

So I now critically analyze the things I do sometimes. It's much better now because I'm starting to feel like the cool kids who know objectively what to do in the moment everytime. I can actually tell when I'm acting like an idiot now and when I'm not. But these days I try to avoid people. A person recently wanted me to a drawpile with them and I kinda got scared and I said, "I'm sorry I'm working on my mental health right now" and they said, "Oh I understand it's ok no problem." I did that because I was scared to get into some argument or for them to get mad at me or for me to yell at them and explode on them so I decided to stay away from people. It feels much better now.

To become more self-aware first I focused on my gut or my solar plexus anytime something bad happened like if I felt bad in anyway. I started to breathe into my gut and I started to- well the best way to put it is "just be." I started to just be. And now I actually know how to act like a normal human!

It's too late though because I'm probably gonna be dead soon. I don't mean by suicide though I'm still trying to do that, I mean literally I think I'm suffering from brain death. I'm afraid I'm gonna lose my vision soon and I'm too afraid to tell my mom that I need to go to the hospital or something. Oh well. Well, anyways al the people who hate me (rightfully so btw) should be happy now that I'm suffering.

It also ties into my life. Mom gives me money for Christmas. Instead of buying a cheap hotel for a day to drink my SN what do I do? Buy some uggs off Temu. I make the wrong moves all the time.

Anyways sorry for the rant and the trauma dump, kinda happens, it's a force of habit. I'm working on myself.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

Absolutely. I self-sabotage, I say the wrong things, I do the wrong things. Even if I were handed an instruction manual for life, I'm sure I'd find a way to mess that up too.

 

[WaitingPatiently]

Nobody knows how to do life correctly. That's life. It isn't particularly helpful advice, but it's true.
Doing things "the right way" is doing things that are right for you.
I'm definitely not perfect at this, but not focusing on what is "truly right" or what is "perfect" can save you some stress.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I made a lot of wrong decisions in the past few years - I could have decided to do exactly the opposite than what I decided to actually do. Idk why I made so many wrong decisions. It's a curse!

 

[Unattainable666]

I feel the same way. Every decision I've made in the last 30 plus years has been wrong and detrimental to my existence. Time to check out - don't want to make any more decisions.

 

[Ash]

Yup. Even when I'm not self-sabotaging and trying to do things properly, I end up making the wrong choices. Just lucky that way, I guess.