wraithie
🪷🍁🪵
- Apr 18, 2023
- 12
Dear fellow magical beings,
As of late, I've been unable to experience any sort of joy or pleasure; I feel numb, like a disconnected version of my self. I feel isolated and lonely, yet I pretend that I have people other than myself to look out for me and help me to feel loved. Over the past few months, I've become increasingly disconnected from those whom I could have called friends in the past; nobody could ever love a sick, pathetic creature like myself.
I was never shown much affection in my childhood, and beatings were commonplace when I was in the process of growing up. One of my earliest memories consists of getting kicked to the ground and stomped on as a child, but until now, I'd done my best to convince myself that things might get better.
After numerous failed attempts, I've lost all hope in regards to life, and the fact that I won't be able to access SN simply exacerbates the feelings of hopelessness I feel. That and my numerous failed attempts only contribute to how hopeless I feel.
In all honesty, codeine has been the only thing that's made me happy in the past. However, the feelings of euphoria were simply ephemeral. Transitory. Coming off it sucked, but it's not something I plan to do in the future; I would rather face depressing sobriety than live a false reality, no matter how happy it is.
I am a being who has yet to taste a morsel of love, and will likely remain isolated for the rest of their life: I am simply too flawed to be cherished.
(to anybody who's struggling and reading this, I believe in you. Listen to your heart and navigate these difficult feelings; there's hope for you out there, even if you might not believe it right now, and I wish you a prosperous lifetime of peace and serenity <3 )
As of late, I've been unable to experience any sort of joy or pleasure; I feel numb, like a disconnected version of my self. I feel isolated and lonely, yet I pretend that I have people other than myself to look out for me and help me to feel loved. Over the past few months, I've become increasingly disconnected from those whom I could have called friends in the past; nobody could ever love a sick, pathetic creature like myself.
I was never shown much affection in my childhood, and beatings were commonplace when I was in the process of growing up. One of my earliest memories consists of getting kicked to the ground and stomped on as a child, but until now, I'd done my best to convince myself that things might get better.
After numerous failed attempts, I've lost all hope in regards to life, and the fact that I won't be able to access SN simply exacerbates the feelings of hopelessness I feel. That and my numerous failed attempts only contribute to how hopeless I feel.
In all honesty, codeine has been the only thing that's made me happy in the past. However, the feelings of euphoria were simply ephemeral. Transitory. Coming off it sucked, but it's not something I plan to do in the future; I would rather face depressing sobriety than live a false reality, no matter how happy it is.
I am a being who has yet to taste a morsel of love, and will likely remain isolated for the rest of their life: I am simply too flawed to be cherished.
(to anybody who's struggling and reading this, I believe in you. Listen to your heart and navigate these difficult feelings; there's hope for you out there, even if you might not believe it right now, and I wish you a prosperous lifetime of peace and serenity <3 )
