Enduring life

[bqhh]

I have been suicidal for about 2 years now with varying levels of intensity, attempted about 8 months ago but failed I was planning on the beginning of November last year but started a new job and that shifted my focus my plan was basically to 'acidently' fall while hiking or to use SN during winter and go on a hike so it might look like I died from the elements. I didn't want it to look like it was on purpose since I have many nieces and nephews and I don't want them to possibly follow my lead. Because of this I told myself I would wait until my parents die and my nephews and nieces are older and can rationalize better before I do it. It's hard waiting though I feel like I'm enduring life and I agree completely with if you don't want to live you shouldn't have too. Does anyone feel similar?

 

[sserafim]

I'm enduring life because I'm scared to die. I don't want to live anymore but I'm scared of failing ctb and ending up even worse off than I started. I'm forced to live, which is the lesser of two evils in my case. I will eventually ctb though, once I reach my maximum exit point of 25. I don't want to live beyond that

 

[bqhh]

I'm enduring life because I'm scared to die. I don't want to live anymore but I'm scared of failing ctb and ending up even worse off than I started. I'm forced to live, which is the lesser of two evils in my case. I will eventually ctb though, once I reach my maximum exit point of 25. I don't want to live beyond that

Makes sense, thank you for sharing

 

[sickgirlzis]

ive been suicidal since I was a young teenager, but it's hard finding the right time, and ive had so many up and down periods. it's hard because I know in my heart it can get better but life has just been awful to me, I don't see the point of staying alive despite anything sometimes.

 

[AkaRed]

Right now I genuinely feel like I'm only enduring because I'm struggling to find what I need atm.

You're very valid in your thoughts and I only wish you the best.

<3