Venting emotionally inept

[Pretty.Odd251]

im 26, ive been unable to feel anything other than mania and depression for the past 6 years. Im totally unable to cry and havent done in years. Been away 4 times this year to see if i feel anything and nothing. isolated myself for a whole month to see i miss the outside and nothing. ive swung through long phases of suicidality currently deep in one. been actively researching best drugs to use. long time user, tried to OD twice and still here (: last drugs i brought were scam (not a fan of jumping, hanging or impact death) guns are out the question are they're banned where i am. i just hope im gone soon

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you eventually find freedom from all the suffering, it's really understandable just wishing to be gone, I hate how it's so difficult to die.