EternalHunger
tired of everything
- Sep 3, 2025
- 115
I would sometimes chew on whatever food I made before spitting it out, trying to vomit voluntarily makes me feel dizzy for a long while and I mostly am addicted to the taste of foods anyways rather than actually 'swallowing' the food itself so I stuck with that for a long while, i avoid 99% of sugar/starch though even while chewing; actually swallowing food makes me feel sick after a certain amount now, especially with how conscious I am of my appearance and all. I started to vomit after a while of this not actually out of my own volition so I been having more general headaches, like a throbbing pain throughout the entire day but ironically it feels better when I start vomiting again.
I still somehow kept some muscle but I lost most of the muscle I worked on for years as well as general weight, but I feel as though people around me treat me far better now and sometimes give me compliments I thought I would never hear in my life so ig it's a loop of constant positive feedback which makes me continue with it for so long. I can tell where this will eventually go but I can't bring myself to stop, especially when I just genuinely can't eat more than what I'm used to now.
I still somehow kept some muscle but I lost most of the muscle I worked on for years as well as general weight, but I feel as though people around me treat me far better now and sometimes give me compliments I thought I would never hear in my life so ig it's a loop of constant positive feedback which makes me continue with it for so long. I can tell where this will eventually go but I can't bring myself to stop, especially when I just genuinely can't eat more than what I'm used to now.
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