fleshgarden
Student
- Mar 15, 2023
- 130
someone tell me if I am bothering them by venting too much on here
I feel such a deep dread inside of me, and I feel like im not supposed to be going on any longer .. my anxiety has reached an all time high, however I do not overthink, I do not catastrophize, but I have panic attacks randomly, I feel like my body knows I'm supposed to be dead. I'm so scared of what happens after death, I always feel like I need to give it a chance, I only have one life. but I only suffer, always. I've tried to cope so much, I do not even think negatively or anything like that anymore. but I know logically, that my time to live may have passed .. I know that truly no one will ever care about me, only to relieve themselves of their guilty feelings .. my friends don't care no one ever talks to me and I sense how uncomfortable they are when I'm around. I'm a burden to people who dont even know me. I just wish I could be confined in a room by myself forever, there is no way I could function in society in the future, I just want it all over with, I want this pain over with, I just want my dread to go away. I wish I could feel important but people only ever care about themselves, including me.
I feel such a deep dread inside of me, and I feel like im not supposed to be going on any longer .. my anxiety has reached an all time high, however I do not overthink, I do not catastrophize, but I have panic attacks randomly, I feel like my body knows I'm supposed to be dead. I'm so scared of what happens after death, I always feel like I need to give it a chance, I only have one life. but I only suffer, always. I've tried to cope so much, I do not even think negatively or anything like that anymore. but I know logically, that my time to live may have passed .. I know that truly no one will ever care about me, only to relieve themselves of their guilty feelings .. my friends don't care no one ever talks to me and I sense how uncomfortable they are when I'm around. I'm a burden to people who dont even know me. I just wish I could be confined in a room by myself forever, there is no way I could function in society in the future, I just want it all over with, I want this pain over with, I just want my dread to go away. I wish I could feel important but people only ever care about themselves, including me.
