Double suicides

[burninghill]

Sorry for posting twice in a short period, I try not to.

I've been thinking a lot about how desperate I was to complete a double suicide last year. It's one of those things where I was so scared and doubted myself to the point where I was sure I could only do it with a partner.

The idea still really appeals to me, honestly. It would have to be someone I'd known for a long time. Or at least felt really close to. No stranger.

I met someone who was really eager to do it with me, with anyone. They'd partaken in a previous double suicide attempt where their partner had died, they just wanted someone to hold them while they did it. They had only just recovered when we met.

Our methods were too different and I knew I couldn't offer them that kind of support. Their attempt date was October 30th and my second attempt was November 1st. I still don't know if they lived. I think about it a lot.

The closer and closer I got to having an actual partner to commit suicide with, the more I realised it wasn't for me, or maybe the people I met weren't for me.

What're your thoughts on double suicides/ suicide partners?

 

[amor.dor]

I almost did it with my ex, I think it's difficult for me to do it with another person, it requires immense trust in the other person.There's always a chance that person might want to spare you, or even give up.

 

[Samira_Hura]

I think it can be comforting. If you commit suicide alone, you'll find yourself in a pro-life world until the last moment when you decide to do it, and you'll be alone with the thoughts of pro-life people ricocheting around in your head. If, on the other hand, you have a partner, you can also decide to spend your last days alone with them, and then the conversations are definitely not pro-life and therefore tend to normalize suicide. This can make things much easier, but it's subjective. There are definitely people who prefer to do everything alone than those who prefer having company. Group suicides also exist, and the dynamics are even more different. I truly believe it's something subjective that should be respected, because we all have different sensitivities.

 

[SASU-KE]

Just like you, I would also do it with the right person. I have someone I've known for quite some time whose date may be coming up.But I can't accompany them yet since I need to be around as long as my mother is still alive.

 

[Afterglow]

I had a plan like that at one point as well. It was supposed to be in October of last year, but unfortunately she ended up taking her own life well before that date we set. I still miss her, and I still wish we could have gone out together.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Tbh when I searched for methods I thought there might be people in my shoes looking for the same information, so my search extended to suicide pacts which brought me to this site. But since joining and finding SN, I prefer to go solo. I don't see myself planning to ctb with someone else unless circumstances change drastically.