burninghill
Specialist
- Dec 2, 2025
- 391
TL;DR AT END.
I've had the opportunity to kill myself with another person on more than one occasion. Realistically, I have the freedom and finances to travel, so I could kill myself with anybody I wanted regardless of distance, but it's always so much nicer in your head.
I always dream of being held and almost coerced into suicide by someone I love. If they love me they'd understand that the only way to end my pain is to end me.
I had almost had this with somebody. She was amazing and had attempted suicide before with a previous partner around this time last year. She lived, they didn't. We met late last year and she was essentially scrambling for another partner. She wasn't just asking me, but everyone. She said it wasn't to replace her previous partner, but just to feel comforted in her last moments. She wanted to cut her wrists and be held while she bled out.
By all means I'd consider this a non-method, but if you'd seen what she did to herself then you'd know it was possible for her. She was really disturbed and I mean that in the kindest way possible.
I couldn't be there while she died the way she wanted to, I felt like a replacement regardless of what she said and the whole situation was so much pressure. She'd have to die, then I'd have to kill myself. I'd feel like a murderer.
I told her that I'd think about it, but not to wait on me if it was her time. She attempted and, as far as I know, successfully committed suicide in October. I tried to take my own life in November.
Anyway. In an ideal world with the perfect person, I'd love to kill myself with them. Lay on the rails with them and lose our heads one after the other. At the same time, suicide is something I don't want to share. I want it to be all about me in a way.
I can only dream. If I meet the right person then I will die with them.
TL;DR: double suicide is too much pressure and it's so incredibly difficult to find the right person, but in an ideal case, that would be how I die.
I've had the opportunity to kill myself with another person on more than one occasion. Realistically, I have the freedom and finances to travel, so I could kill myself with anybody I wanted regardless of distance, but it's always so much nicer in your head.
I always dream of being held and almost coerced into suicide by someone I love. If they love me they'd understand that the only way to end my pain is to end me.
I had almost had this with somebody. She was amazing and had attempted suicide before with a previous partner around this time last year. She lived, they didn't. We met late last year and she was essentially scrambling for another partner. She wasn't just asking me, but everyone. She said it wasn't to replace her previous partner, but just to feel comforted in her last moments. She wanted to cut her wrists and be held while she bled out.
By all means I'd consider this a non-method, but if you'd seen what she did to herself then you'd know it was possible for her. She was really disturbed and I mean that in the kindest way possible.
I couldn't be there while she died the way she wanted to, I felt like a replacement regardless of what she said and the whole situation was so much pressure. She'd have to die, then I'd have to kill myself. I'd feel like a murderer.
I told her that I'd think about it, but not to wait on me if it was her time. She attempted and, as far as I know, successfully committed suicide in October. I tried to take my own life in November.
Anyway. In an ideal world with the perfect person, I'd love to kill myself with them. Lay on the rails with them and lose our heads one after the other. At the same time, suicide is something I don't want to share. I want it to be all about me in a way.
I can only dream. If I meet the right person then I will die with them.
TL;DR: double suicide is too much pressure and it's so incredibly difficult to find the right person, but in an ideal case, that would be how I die.
