Double suicide always intrigues me

[burninghill]

TL;DR AT END.

I've had the opportunity to kill myself with another person on more than one occasion. Realistically, I have the freedom and finances to travel, so I could kill myself with anybody I wanted regardless of distance, but it's always so much nicer in your head.

I always dream of being held and almost coerced into suicide by someone I love. If they love me they'd understand that the only way to end my pain is to end me.

I had almost had this with somebody. She was amazing and had attempted suicide before with a previous partner around this time last year. She lived, they didn't. We met late last year and she was essentially scrambling for another partner. She wasn't just asking me, but everyone. She said it wasn't to replace her previous partner, but just to feel comforted in her last moments. She wanted to cut her wrists and be held while she bled out.

By all means I'd consider this a non-method, but if you'd seen what she did to herself then you'd know it was possible for her. She was really disturbed and I mean that in the kindest way possible.

I couldn't be there while she died the way she wanted to, I felt like a replacement regardless of what she said and the whole situation was so much pressure. She'd have to die, then I'd have to kill myself. I'd feel like a murderer.

I told her that I'd think about it, but not to wait on me if it was her time. She attempted and, as far as I know, successfully committed suicide in October. I tried to take my own life in November.

Anyway. In an ideal world with the perfect person, I'd love to kill myself with them. Lay on the rails with them and lose our heads one after the other. At the same time, suicide is something I don't want to share. I want it to be all about me in a way.

I can only dream. If I meet the right person then I will die with them.

TL;DR: double suicide is too much pressure and it's so incredibly difficult to find the right person, but in an ideal case, that would be how I die.

 

[interna]

i totally get you .
i wish i'd known someone in this lifetime i could've died with....

 

[burninghill]

i totally get you .
i wish i'd known someone in this lifetime i could've died with....

Me too. I know that somewhere out there is the right person for me to die with, I just don't know if I'll ever find them in time.

 

[DignifiedGrave]

I think i get it a little. Im not afraid of dying alone, but I totally get the appeal of dying with someone and it being a double suicide. Also I like your pfp. In my room, I have a Rei doll hanging, and from where I hang, she looks right at me, so when im dead, Rei will look down on me :) May not be a double suicide but it is my own human instrumentality project.

 

[CrawlingInMySkin]

Double is my ideal way, too. I hate being alone. When I inevitably don't find someone to do it with, I'll go over to a good friend of mine's house before leaving to do it just so that I'm not alone, and because I know she won't try to stop me or call the cops or something. I feel it, mate

 

[meowpuppy]

i also want a double suicide pretty badly, but it'd have to be with a romantic partner, and not just some random person, so i can't just, like, look for suicide partners on this forum for example

 

[burninghill]

i also want a double suicide pretty badly, but it'd have to be with a romantic partner, and not just some random person, so i can't just, like, look for suicide partners on this forum for example

I feel somewhat the same. I wouldn't mind doing it with a 'random person' but it would have to be somebody very special that I felt a connection to.

 

[caotic_realm]

I've thought the same thing; the problem is the method. The same dose of something—or even a bullet—can have vastly different effects depending on whether the person is a man or a woman, their weight, medical history, and so on.

I'd want to die with a woman by my side, but if we took, say, sodium nitrite, it might affect her more than me. That would be terrible, because if I survived, I'd be charged with homicide... Obviously, I wouldn't want the reverse to happen either—with the other person being charged with homicide—but in that sense, death can be sexist... lol.

 

[Liwujin]

I share your thoughts. I change between wanting to not be alone for once in the darkest hour of my life before the dawn but then I also think about all the things that could go wrong. If I had a partner whom I trusted truly, it would definitely be my ideal method.

 

[Shallow23]

I am glad that I am not the only one that feels this way

 

[plskilme]

My co-worker and I always joke about it. But she hasn't been pushed to that point yet. She always says she'll let me know as soon as she is at that point... she's almost been there multiple times though...

 

[rxcha]

always thought about this, i think the most romantic thing for me would someone putting me out of it. nothing much more personal then that and i dream of someone who loves me enough to understand the suffering i go through and what the greatest love they can give me is truly.

 

[projectpravitas]

I've never considered this before. It seems so intimate…

 

[AgnesTachyon]

id like to too, but there's only 2 people i would do it with. one is a historical figure and the other is a fictional character. it has to be with someone who makes me forget about how shallow human interactions and relationships actually are at least for a little bit, this is really hard and that person simply doesnt exist.​