SomewhereNew
idk
- Nov 2, 2025
- 88
Ahhh two years now abandoned and forgotten and it's that time of year again almost! Winter. I love it. My favorite season of them all. Everything dies, the landscape frozen and barren, and the snow falls in slow motion sometimes.
I always pictured myself disappearing in the woods, I've had dreams of it even during other seasons. I dreamt it was autumn with falling red and yellow leaves everywhere, and I told a family member I must go now and die.
But those were dreams, even though it's my favorite thing to do which is sleep, it's simply halfway between delusion and wishing what could be.
Now winter is coming again, I always attempt around this time though it's been a few years. I don't want to see spring again, I don't want to suffer another year on "what ifs". I want to disappear forever in a frozen forest with no worries. I hope I have the courage this year, this seed has been planted in my brain since I was 16 I am now 30. This is fate, nobody should feel suicidal everyday until they die. I will use either a long gun or hang. Life has not been kind to me and I cannot live in a society I understand too well it's toxic and I always had good intentions. People never have good intentions it feels like unlike me I cannot trust anyone anymore.
I'll be here for awhile since it's not quite winter yet. Thanks for listening even though it's like I'm talking to the void.
I always pictured myself disappearing in the woods, I've had dreams of it even during other seasons. I dreamt it was autumn with falling red and yellow leaves everywhere, and I told a family member I must go now and die.
But those were dreams, even though it's my favorite thing to do which is sleep, it's simply halfway between delusion and wishing what could be.
Now winter is coming again, I always attempt around this time though it's been a few years. I don't want to see spring again, I don't want to suffer another year on "what ifs". I want to disappear forever in a frozen forest with no worries. I hope I have the courage this year, this seed has been planted in my brain since I was 16 I am now 30. This is fate, nobody should feel suicidal everyday until they die. I will use either a long gun or hang. Life has not been kind to me and I cannot live in a society I understand too well it's toxic and I always had good intentions. People never have good intentions it feels like unlike me I cannot trust anyone anymore.
I'll be here for awhile since it's not quite winter yet. Thanks for listening even though it's like I'm talking to the void.
I'm sorry for your suffering. I hope you'll find some relief on this forum.
