I resonate with your post. I want to live so badly and I am upset that I have to think about killing myself. Like you, my illness doesn't have a diagnosis other than I have stomach dysbiosis. But, I suffer from all kinds of weird painful symptoms other than stomach pain. I don't know if it is necessarily progressive, but I know that unfortunately, it won't kill me. No amount of money or doctors is going to help because in the U.S. you only get like 10 minutes to speak with a doctor and everything needs a specialist. If their basic and costly tests do not pick up on anything, then you're told to go home and you're fine. If I wasn't sick and just depressed, I would continue to live without thinking of hurting myself. Something I don't see on here is that when I do have to off myself, it is going to be so sad and I will cry the entire time. I don't want to give up my life, but fighting against a mysterious illness is fruitless.