G
griffith.b
New Member
- Dec 9, 2021
- 1
Hey, I'm new here so I don't really know what SN and N means. Anyone care to explain?Ok, so I am unsure if the prefix is correct but anyways...
I now have MeTo and SN (stored for about 6 months). I have had suicidal thoughts for a long time, sometimes i cry myself to sleep just wanting to end it all.
I have attempted suicide before but not with reliable methods. And I think that maybe this is what scares me with SN, it is almost certain you will die.
I want to die but at the same time I don´t. I am so scared of how my family and friends will feel after i ctb.
I am scared of what happens after you are dead. I am scared of regretting having taking the pills but it will be to late to undo it.
At the same time I am so tired of everything. Everyday I just act happy when I am not.
I feel like everything is hopeless and that I have no purpose.
For so many nights before I go to bed I have just wished that instead of waking up, I will just disappear.
I don´t know if this makes any sense though.
Does anyone else feel the same?
That you sort of want to be removed from this world but at the same time you don´t want to.