Doing it now

[Ghost2211]

i have asked for that and they didnt want. they say i should force myself to eat no matter how satiated and how much pain i feel.
on the other hand, if i eat small snacks throughout the day i can more or less manage. what i cant eat is a normal dish. but society works that way
i also have tumors on the face so the isolation is total

Technically it's "better" for your body to keep using digestion if possible, but if it hurts too much simply verbally refuse to eat and they will be forced to put in a port for liquid feeding. Do they expect all this to pass, and you to recover or are they just putting you through all this for no reason? What's they timeline they're estimating if things should improve?

 

[yetme]

Im sorry forbmy mother who ia going to find me but i am so sick amd exhausted that i cant even move from bed, and my stomach tumors makes me crazy...wont go away.

i have 2 options;

1- SN. havent tested it but seems legit
2- crushing a box of 30mg sulfate morphine prolonged release and drink the powder. can add also add tapentadol, zolpidem and some diazepam

pain and sickness day by day are driving me insane

Mari hi!
I feel for you. I am in the same boat.
Before you take anything keep in mind that opiates generally make you nauseous if taken in large doses and can make you puke.
So it might make more sense if you crash the pills, mix them with water and then rectally plug it.
That being said I would still do them anyway, because they supress SI and make the transition smoother

 

[TripleA]

May the force be with you!

 

[MariV]

well no way...its just to much. she arrived home and told her i was ctbing now in my room. that she should jist wait a vouple of hours and call so my corpse is recovered.
her face doing her best to supress the tears and telling me to go on, as she cant stand my suffering and doesnt want to be selfish...simply too much

ill hang on no matter how..wishing for a miracle and not getting dementia.

thank you all so much. your support made me feel better

 

[LonelyNick]

I feel you!!! Gallbladder for me, stones have been giving me pain, I lost weight, I lost friendship and relationships. I still have 49 more weeks to go, and that's IF COVID doesn't get worst. I'm done. I want out. So bad.

 

[MariV]

I feel you!!! Gallbladder for me, stones have been giving me pain, I lost weight, I lost friendship and relationships. I still have 49 more weeks to go, and that's IF COVID doesn't get worst. I'm done. I want out. So bad.

why 49 weeks? its terrible to get pain from something supposed to be pleasurable, which is eating. patience. things can improve anytime

 

[LonelyNick]

why 49 weeks? its terrible to get pain from something supposed to be pleasurable, which is eating. patience. things can improve anytime

I've already been in pain for 10 months. I'm not waiting another year. It's not the only reason but it's the main one. I'm hoping to die when it bursts. I probably won't so I'm taking things in my own hands~

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

With regard to testing the SN, if it's not pure enough, you will suffer but not die. If you're able to prick yourself enough and get a couple drops of blood, you can put a little SN in it and see the color change. There's a blood test thread, and further down in the comments you'll see vials of different colors. You want the 70% color. If the blood color is lighter, the SN isn't pure enough.

I have so much compassion for your struggle with your pain vs your mother's pain. I think eventually you will both reach a place where you're in mutual agreement and both have the courage for the choice, or, like the prisoners in Nazi concentration camps, loving her will not be enough to keep you alive and your body may finally give up on its own. I kind of envy that you have between you such love that you have meaning and purpose, and so can suffer for it. That's the tragic beauty of life, I think, such that some call it a gift. Not everyone gets that gift. I got a twisted version of it that said my purpose was to sublimate myself for the good of those who purported to love me. Your mom is an example to me of actual love and traits I most highly respect, and it soothes me that someone like her exists. I respect you, too, and I wish for your well-being and freedom from all suffering.

 

[MariV]

I've already been in pain for 10 months. I'm not waiting another year. It's not the only reason but it's the main one. I'm hoping to die when it bursts. I probably won't so I'm taking things in my own hands~

49 days is terrible...hows that possible? cant you get it earlier somewhere?

 

[LonelyNick]

49 days is terrible...hows that possible? cant you get it earlier somewhere?

No, no, no. 49 WEEKS. Not 49 days. I'm the last on the surgery list (17 ppl before me). As long as my gallbladder doesn't burst I am not an emergency. I went to the ER twice already. And since these are non emergency surgeries, they're all delayed until COVID is over.

Oh and I don't have much pain killers either. Just some T3 and I got some because I broke down over the phone with my Dr. He took pity on me and gave me 15 T3.

 

[yetme]

No, no, no. 49 WEEKS. Not 49 days. I'm the last on the surgery list (17 ppl before me). As long as my gallbladder doesn't burst I am not an emergency. I went to the ER twice already. And since these are non emergency surgeries, they're all delayed until COVID is over.

Oh and I don't have much pain killers either. Just some T3 and I got some because I broke down over the phone with my Dr. He took pity on me and gave me 15 T3.

Hey!
I got rid of the gall stones completely. I used to have my gallblader full of them. The pain was crucifying. It took me more than a year to totally dissolve them. I got lucky with a doctor, otherwise I'd lost my gallbladder.
I used "Ursosan". You can look it up. good luck!

 

[MariV]

well here its the same. try going to the emergency department and say that you have insufferable pain. my mother has made many times very exaggerated dramas so that they take me immediately

 

[LonelyNick]

Hey!
I got rid of the gall stones completely. I used to have my gallblader full of them. The pain was crucifying. It took me more than a year to totally dissolve them. I got lucky with a doctor, otherwise I'd lost my gallbladder.
I used "Ursosan". You can look it up. good luck!

Man I could have used that information in January hahaha. It's too late now tho, I just want to die. I want peace. Not another year of suffering. Been there done that.

 

[cyberlordsumit]

@MariV Buddy.. you mentioned Stomach ulcers, SN is a salt.. it'll be painful on your stomach if and when you take it. although you are fighting cancer pain so i really can't compare. hope this is atleast insightful